Thursday, January 27, 2011

Slightly better

My appetite is getting better. Pain is getting better. Diarrhea is still in questionable status. Bad last night. Better today. There is a question about whether or not this is a secondary inefction or not. Please pray it is not. I had a short pity-party for myself last night -- just a bit frustrated that sometimes it feels I can't get a break.

I know that is not true. I know I catch a lot of breaks. But in the midst of a bout of sickness when already in a lot of pain (imagine trying to hurry to have to get out of bed time and time again to get the bathroom when you are already in pain that makes getting up and down slow going) and hearing your husband say there is a chance you have the same darned infection you "caught" during your last stomach surgery, and you find yourself just feeling sorry for yourself.

I think feeling sorry for yourself is truly the biggest battle in these circumstances. And my darned husband won't give me a second to do so. If I start to get teary and want to cry, it's like he smells it from the other room and comes in to find me and remind that a bunch of tears will only make my pain worse, my recovery longer, and my spirits lower. Okay, okay, he's right, he's right. Love that man. He just does what he has to do first for me then one boy then the other boy over and over and over again and keeps reminding me that this will end soon and we'll move on. True. But doesn't he want to just sit and cry for a second with me?

I'm also grieving the fact that for some reason The Australian Open isn't being run on the AF TV channel today. It's just a black screen. How wrong is that? Bummer.

Thanks for the prayers. Please keep them coming. We have decided to proceed with Elijah's 2nd birthday party on Saturday. It has been planned for many weeks. The turn-out RSVP was very good, the room had been reserved, and so many had offered to help that we felt it was best just to go ahead and hold it. (We had also secured gate passes for our off-Base friends: Jake and Rana which took a month in and of itself.) So onward we go! Can't believe my little man will be two years old!


Anonymous said...

I don't usually speak in between any husband or wife...but just woman to woman...uuuummmmmmmm...most of us girls need a good cleansing cry once in awhile -and we get better faster and do better and get more positive after we have a really good cry! At least get a chick flick that can make you cry about something else so you can get those tears out --And remember God stores your tears in a bottle -they are very precious to Him! sometimes those tears and someone crying next to us are the very thing that can keep us from true self-pity...this doesn't sound like self-pity to me -sounds like a male /female thing...but then again I'm sure JB knows you better than me...just let me feel sorry for you tho k!?!?! .....(sorry JB! i'm an auntie :)) Tante jan

Anonymous said...

Well said, Jan:)
Wendi, I think John is very much like his Dad -shoulders all the reponsibilities, busy holding up the fort- showing strength and faith that is so reasurring but then forgetting sometimes that it's just his shoulder that's needed-if only for that one minute:) Guess it's partly who they are- part of the "guy thing" make-up. You know, logical, get the to-do list done... and on top of it, in JB's case, having that doctor mentality-cause and effect (if you cry it'll make you feel worse)sheesh!
Just remind him, sometimes guys-as wonderful as they are- can be a little dense; they forget the best medicine just might be a shoulder to cry on!
love you,
mom k
(Not to bash you,John,you're doing a terrific job, just hugging Wendi!)

Dana said...

Couldn't find an email address to send you this off topic question, sorry to ask you this in an inappropriate place.
My situation is that my son who is a rising 10th grader in high school has decided he is deeply committed to attempting to be accepted into the air force academy after h.s. He has the grades and lots of other requirements to do so. He has been a strong supporter of the military as the grandson of a career Navy man and the great-grandson of Navy men on both sides of the family. He has said since his earliest days he wants to serve his country by joining the military. I completely support his choice and am trying to find any and all information to help him on his way. The problem (or root of the question I have) is that when I tell any of our friends and some of our family of own son's goal to become a part of our amazing military they ask me what I consider to be an absurd question. "Why am I pushing my son to join a career that will end his life?" I am honestly stumped by assumption that just because he is in the military he will die in a war. I know it is a possibility but it is his dream. How can I deny him his dream, especially one that I consider extremely honorable? Has anyone ever questioned you or JB as to why you would choose the military though it is a bad thing. I am a PROUD military daughter, I believe in supporting our soldiers and our country and I am offended that I have to defend my son's right to defend their rights and freedoms. How should I respond to someone like this without the sting that I would like to serve up? Sorry if this is too heavy to answer right now...maybe after the baby is born or while you storknest in Ger. you may have sometime to think about this and have an answer.I am just so proud of my oldest child's sense of duty and honor that I could burst and yet all I seem to get from people we love and care about is the bursting of my and his bubble.