Yesterday was my first day in this new role as mom, that I just felt like I didn't do my best work.
Not that there haven't been other days that I felt were hard or I didn't do well. But yesterday, seemed to be my hardest.
I'm not sure what it was. A combo of things I guess but basically all stemming from the fact that our house is moving from that of two babies to that of a baby and a toddler.
Firstly, Isaac is moving in the direction of dropping nap #2. They say this happens by the time most children are 12-18 months. He's 14 months so he seems right on track. Problem is, I just can't figure out when he wants to sleep. He acts tired. I put him in his bed. He talks for an hour and never goes to sleep. He doesn't act tired but suddenly gets cranky.
Awwww shoot, I betcha he needed a nap. I can't quite get what his new pattern is at all. It's so true that as soon as you figure them out, they change on you.
I glanced through one of James
Dobson's parenting books yesterday --
an outline of the first two years of a child's life.
Dobson advises that prior to 15 months, parents use "distraction techniques" or the "no" command to
steer children from things you don't want them to get into. That prior to 15 months they can't really understand discipline.
Yesterday I learned that Isaac has outgrown the ability to be distracted. While he understand no, he decided yesterday that it was a bad idea. I tried everything to distract him from his desire to hold "Daddy" as he repeatedly calls a picture of
JB that we have in his nursery. I have been letting him hold it while I change his diaper. But yesterday he wanted to take it around the house with him. Problem is, it's a frame. It's a fairly nice frame. If he carried it around he could break it or break off pieces of it. It isn't really a child's toy.
But Isaac didn't agree. How do you convince a 14 month old that he can't have something if you can't distract him? I'm really not sure. He just cried and pleaded for what felt like hours.
Maybe he was tired? Who the heck knows.
Those of course, are just a bit of surface
scratchers for my day yesterday. I felt like I was five steps behind the boys all day long. I felt like everything timed unevenly yesterday. Most days they get up from their naps at different times, want to eat at different times, need diaper changes at different times. Most days I manage to scatter things so that I can move from boy to boy in a fairly fluid fashion.
Yesterday, everything seemed to fall at the same time. Since Isaac really doesn't understand the meaning of "wait" yet, I was forced to leave him standing there, crying, wanting milk for himself while I was trying to feed Elijah. Or I was forced to leave Elijah screaming in his crib while I finished a meal with Isaac or finished changing his diaper. Add to that my glorious puppy, who decided that yesterday would be a good day to follow me everywhere I went by standing directly in front of me whenever he could. I think he knows when the house is a bit "frantic", grows concerned, and decides he needs to help me. I end up just yelling at him as I move from room to room, a child on each hip, nearly tripping over his huge body. He usually takes the brunt of my bad day.
I went outside when I saw our neighbor trying to call Scrubs over to him. Scrubs had a pricker in his front paw. He always lets me remove his prickers, but with the neighbor's dog playing across the fence, Scrubs couldn't calm himself down enough to sit still. I ended up bringing him into the house and waking up Isaac (who had finally fell asleep for a nap) as I tried to yell Scrubs' name and get him to lay still so I could remove the pricker -- which I never found. Sigh . . .
When I talked to
JB in the afternoon, I let loose and told him that I was feeling
completely overwhelmed and lost in my day. He asked me why, and I couldn't really tell him. Isaac was a bit cranky. Elijah's naps were a bit scattered. Scrubs had a pricker I couldn't find. Those types of things.
JB told me he'd be home fairly early so I decided to kill the last hour before he arrived with a run. It was the worst run I had had in weeks. I couldn't finish my 3.25 mile trek and was forced to take a shortcut home. Scrubs seemed relieved. I seemed frustrated. I think it was because I drank way too little water in the hustle and bustle of the day. I'm not sure. But it was painful that was for sure.
My husband, the greatest man in the universe, came home and told me he was going to take the boys shopping by himself while I stayed home and got caught up, took a bath, whatever I wanted to do. I thanked him but knew that what he was saying was not really possible. Both boys needed to eat. Both were a bit cranky. When I told him he couldn't handle that, he looked at me and just smiled. "I most certainly can," he said. And truth be told, he could.
JB can handle those boys so well and never seems to get flustered.
But I did talk him out of it. Instead, we went to
Sams together. On the way home, we both picked up dinner from our favorite spots (
JB got sushi and I got Thai.) We also got some dessert, put both kids to bed, and sat and watched the first half of
The Bucket List while we ate our food and goodies.
JB even did a quick clean-up of the house while I was feeding Elijah his last bottle of the evening to help me get a good start to the day today.
What a guy!
JB told me that even he, "Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected" would find himself in the midst of a day like I had yesterday if our roles were reversed. This made me feel better. It wasn't just me. I'm not alone in this universe.
So today starts a new day! Pray with me that it is a great one!