Saturday, May 25, 2024

Mental Health (Part II)

Other than some fatigue, Wendi feels like Wendi. I imagine I might have another dip or two, but mostly, I feel like I am through the really hard portion of my healing journey.

I'm still quite tired. And here is one of the things I have truly learned. My body requires me to listen to it. My body requires rest. I need to listen to my body. 

When I feel too tired to go out to eat with a friend, I need to not go out to eat with a friend. When I've texted too much, I need to put the phone away. I need to sit on the couch more. I need to watch a movie with my kids. I need to ... be. Because my mental health requires it. 

My entire life, I didn't listen to my body. I think part of this was the athlete in me. And part of this was that my parents were both very "get 'er done" in their philosophy. But, in truth, how many of us teach our children to listen to what their body is telling them? 

But this is where this journey has really transformed me. This isn't just about ME. It's about ME being able teach my KIDS the things I have learned! I am able to tell my kids: "You don't have to do this thing just because I want you to do it or because this person is putting pressure on you." They can make a decision based on their own needs and desires and not pressure from outside the world.

This is what I didn't understand. My brain was wired to think: "I'm only okay if every other person is okay." And that is NOT sustainable. That will break down. 

Of course, helping people is good. People liking you is nice. Saying "yes" when you want to say "no" is still the right thing to do. But your own body and your own family MUST come first. They must. 

I'm learning that. And it's FREEING. It isn't limiting to be able to say "no" more. It also allows my friends to know that when I say "yes" I really mean "yes." I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. 

Only through getting my legs knocked out from under me could I understand what it means to admit to being unable to do something. During those few months, I was UNABLE to do more than the bare minimum. That is very humbling. But it was necessary in order for me to understand the limitations that I have never acknowledged.

I have SO much more to learn. But it's nice to be able to learn it while not in the PIT of depression.

Friday, May 24, 2024

Happy Birthday Wendi

My mom took me out to dinner for Indian on my 47th birthday. We went to Sahib — one of my favorite restaurants! At the end, they surprised me with a different cheesecake covered by mango!

Gabe graduates

Crazy to think that the Kotynskis moved here in the seventh grade! He’s now been here for six years and graduated from Heritage Home Scholars!

Monday, May 20, 2024

Piano/voice Recital

My kids have been taking piano from  Leslie Vaughan since 2015! Two years ago, Isaac started taking voice lessons as well. 

Yesterday was their annual recital. Isaac surprised my parents who are in town by singing “their song.” My emotional dad of course started crying 🙂 

Thank you to Kristin Girton for helping me capture some snaps of the day!

P.S. Broken arm Sidge couldn’t perform. But he is still taking piano!

Thursday, May 16, 2024

Happy Birthday Joni

Happy Birthday dear Joni. Roy and Joan were neighbors and friends of my parents before I was born. She was with me from my first days on earth! She has been a second mother to me for my entire life. I so appreciate my own mother's willingness to "share" me with Joni. That couldn't have been easy, but my mom knew that Joni was "good" for me too! 

Joni has been to every house I have ever lived in: South Florida, college in Kentucky, two other homes in Bowling Green and Franklin, Kentucky. I then went to Rochester and Turkey and Portugal. She visited me in all those locations, and even came and saw me while I was "stork nesting" in Germany awaiting Abigail's birth. 

Not only is Joni a mother-figure to me, but she is the Grama to all four of my children -- not just the one she really "is" the Grama too (Bri's biological son, Isaac). 

I love you Joni! Happy Birthday!!!