About Me

In the fall of 2007, my husband and I received a phone call that would change our lives forever.

We were months away from celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. We had been undergoing infertility treatments and trying to have a baby for nearly five years. We were beginning to believe our dream of parenthood would never come true. We had cried and prayed and begged God. We had spent money, visited doctors, and researched every avenue available.
We were running out of hope.

And then we received that call from the flower girl in our wedding. She was now seventeen and pregnant, and she wanted us to be the parents of her little boy.

John and I were scared. We were scared that she might change her mind. We were scared that we wouldn’t really feel like his parents. We were nervous about an “open” adoption. We had many reservations. But we wanted to be parents with every fiber of our being.

So we said yes.

On May 7, 2008 we received another phone call, and just a few hours later we were holding our little Isaac John in the hospital nursery for the very first time.

Our lives would never be the same.

John and I were high school sweethearts. We had a fantastic marriage. We were best friends. But Isaac was able to complete a part of us that would otherwise have always been missing: parenthood. Sharing the responsibility, laughter, fatigue, joys, and messy moments of parenthood has united us like nothing else could.

Six weeks after Isaac was born, I discovered I was eight weeks pregnant with no infertility treatments at all. Elijah Luke came into this world on January 31, 2009.

It was after having Elijah that John and I were fully able to understand the miracle of adoption. We knew we had a completely selfless love for Isaac. But when we added Elijah to our family, we were able to confirm that the love for Isaac was identical to the love we had for our biological son. There was absolutely no difference.

The truth is that none of our early reservations about adoption mattered at all. It didn’t matter that Isaac had a birth family that shared in his life. It didn’t matter that we had to wait forty-eight hours to assure that he would join our family. It didn’t matter that I didn’t carry him in my womb. Isaac was our little boy.

Adoption. Infertility. Grief. Loss. I intend to allow the Lord to use our story to touch other people in whatever matter He sees fit.

In 2012, my husband and I started Because of Isaac. We want to help other Christian couples afford the mounting costs of adoption so that they can experience the miracle of adoption just as we have.

I also feel the Lord calling me to share my story whenever the opportunity avails itself.

My story did not end with Isaac and Elijah, however. In 2011, another surprise. This time in feminine form. Abigail Grace joined our family on July 16, 2011 during our military assignment in Turkey. And then, in 2013, we went back for the last of our IVF embryos and one little miracle emerged. Hannah Joy was born on September 4, 2013.

Since then, my Blog has continued to morph. We moved to a farm and I started homeschooling. I now write a lot about these topics as well! In fact, "We Bought a Farm" has become a new focus of my Blog while I review homeschool products. I am excited to see where God takes this Blog next. Twelves years of writing nearly daily and going strong!

My greatest passion is writing. I am thoroughly enjoying getting some of my pieces published online. Here are some of the pieces I have seen in print:

Published Articles on Infertility:

• To My Grieving Friend
• What Would I Tell Infertile Me
• Talking to a Friend Who is Experiencing Infertility
• Breaking Your Good News ... To Your Infertile Friend
• What's Your Idol?
• 8 Ways Infertility Changes You Forever -- Before You Parent
• You Don't Know the Whole Story (The Glorious Table)
• The Past We'd Like to Forget (The Glorious Table)
• A Mother's Love is Big Enough (The Glorious Table)
• A Letter to Infertility, From Someone Who's a Better Person Because of You (The Mighty)
• 10 Ways Infertility Before Parenthood Changes You (Scary Mommy)
• 4 Words I Want to Share With Women Facing Infertility (The Mighty)
• How to Homeschool Bigs When You have Littles (Schoolhouse Review Crew)
• What to Do (and Not to Do) for a Friend Dealing with Infertility (The Mighty)
• To the Mother of a Woman Dealing with Infertility (The Mighty)
• Season of Alone (The Glorious Table)

Published Articles on other topics:

• Doctors, Parents, and Spouses All Rolled Into one Person (Kevin MD)
• Humanize Your Physician: They are Real People (Kevin MD)
• It's a Season (The Glorious Table)
• A Season of Alone (The Glorious Table)
• How to Grow (Slowly) (The Glorious Table)
• Hugs from God (The Glorious Table)
• Consider Your Calling (The Glorious Table) 
• Before you vent about your doctor on social media, read this (Kevin MD)

I have had the opportunity to speak to women's groups on various topics. Typically, I speak on one of the following topics:

• How to support those you love while they wait -- designed to help educate people on the details of grief and infertility and share how you can help those you love during these difficult times.
• How Great is our God -- designed to discuss the fact that God is still in the business of doing miracles and that we must work to praise the Lord and fight bitterness in the midst of grief.
• I will praise you in this storm -- designed to discuss those times in life when bad things happen to good people and how to handle this grief and praise the Lord in the midst of it.
• How to build friendship and community during difficult times -- designed to illustrate how to reach out to those around you and have them reach back, with special attention to my example of the military community during hard times.

Each version of my talk includes a variety of general information as well like:

• My story
• Waiting women (single, infertile, divorced, childless, widows)
• Infertility 101 (education)
• Adoption 101 (education and misconceptions)
• Infertility pain (why it hurts)
• What your infertile friends want you to know
• How you can help your infertile friend 

Past Speaking Engagements:

• January 2012: Stuttgart MOPs: Stuttgart, Germany -- How to support those you love while they wait
• February 2012: Abundant Life Christian Center: Margate, FL -- How great is our God
• February 2012: Parkway MOPs: South Florida -- I will praise you in this storm
• February 2012: Florida Bible MOPs: South Florida -- How to build friendship and community during difficult times
• February 2012: Berean Christian MOPs: South Florida -- How to support those you love while they wait
• September 2014: Koza Baptist Church: Japan -- How great is our God
• September 2014: New Hope Community Church -- How great is our God
• October 2014: Grace Pointe Fellowship -- How great is our God
• February 2015: The People's Church: Franklin, TN -- How to build friendship and community during difficult times
• April 2015: Woodmont Baptist Church: Nashville, TN -- I will praise you in this storm

Please contact me at flakymn@hotmail.com if you are interested in having me speak at your event or if you have any other questions or comments!