Once upon a time I was infertile. For years I struggled to find my place, my “tribe” if you will, and I did find it at last. I found support online, and I found it through a Support Group I helped start at my church. I felt scaffolded by the other women who were trudging through this valley with me.
Then I became a mom.
It was, of course, the greatest miracle and biggest honor of my life–to at last experience motherhood. I had prayed and yearned and begged for this for so long that the awesomeoness was definitely not lost on me.
But while I had the child I had dreamed of, I suddenly felt completely and utterly lost.
One of the most difficult parts of my journey into motherhood was that I felt abandoned by both groups of women—both the infertile women I had walked with for so long, and the mothers whose ranks I had finally joined. The operative word here is felt—I was not abandoned so much as I felt I did not belong in either group.