Homeschooling Q & A: Updated

I have started to receive questions regarding homeschooling and our family. I wanted to do a post to answer these questions. So here are some of the common questions, and here are my answers. PLEASE ask additional questions in the comments. If you prefer to not leave your name, that's fine. No question is off limits if asked with kindness! And please note: we are NOT pushing homeschooling on anyone. We are products of Christian education and turned out just fine. But if you want to learn more, we'd like to share our vision. 

1.  Do you plan to homeschool your children? Yes.

2.  How long will you homeschool them for? We do not know. We'll take one year at a time. However, our current plan is to homeschool them for all 13 years.

3.  Why are you choosing to homeschool? Our reasons are many but here are the top ones:

• We think we can do a better job than the school system.
• We feel God called us to do it. We are not saying He has called you. (Click here to read an article on how often we think we can't do this!)
• We think we can do a better job in less time per day. (Click here for an article on how important extra time for play is in a child's life.) (Click here for an article on the importance of play for young children.)
• We want to limit the negative influence of peers on our children.
• We want to spend more time with our children.

Also, I echo the sentiments on this blog post very closely. (Please note that if you are choosing to put your kids in public or private school, you could come up with a list that is very similar written in different ways, and I respect your choice!) Her reasons are as follows:

• Because we feel called to teach our children at home. 
• God created the sanctity of the family unit, and discipleship is to occur natural and daily within that unit.
• Because we believe in family togetherness not peer reliance.
• Because as parents, we feel that when we send our children and teens to school daily, we remove ourselves completely from their lives for the majority of the day.
• Because we don't want to "miss it."
• Because we believe in giving our children the best education possible.
• Because we believe in focusing on real life preparation.
• Because when we pull kids away and put them in another place and label it the "place of learning", we suggest that "learning" only happens in school, with a teacher telling you what to learn. Learning is life. Life is growth. 
• Because we believe in nurturing individual gifts and talents and interests. 
• Because we long to live life at a slower place.
• Because homeschooling gives freedom.
• Because we believe in fostering real, deep-rooted self-assurance and independence.
• Because we believe kids belong outside.
• Because an observant child should be put in the way of things worth observing. (Charlotte Mason).
• Because we want to know what our children are being taught.

In addition, we simply believe there are some major issues with public school that are broken. And we don't want our children being influenced by a broken system. This does not mean that every public school is broken or that you shouldn't put your child in public school. Truly that is dependent on your child and the school they would attend.

One major thing that we really think is a "problem" in school is how much "sitting still" time there is. Here are some articles that align with this idea:

• Here's what happened when a school tried recess 4 times a day.
• Blackboards, recess: iconic items disappearing from schools. 
• Why so many kids can't sit still in school today.

4. Will your children participate in public school extra-curricular activities? They might. Again, we will take this one year at a time. It will truly depend on what our children want to do and where we live. If we have access to homeschool or Christian/private school activities, we might choose to go that route.

5. Do you think that homeschooled children should have access to public school extra-curricular activities? Yes. We pay taxes so it seems fair that we can utilize the public school system for things we would like to use (music, sports, etc.) However, I do not feel incredibly strongly about this, and if I were told we could not utilize extra curriculars, I would respect that decision.

6. I don't know where to start. Help! 
One reader wrote: "I am contemplating homeschooling my children for many of the reasons you listed. But I don't know where to start! I'm not a teacher and never thought I would feel led to do this! I want to be sure they are learning what they are supposed to at each grade level. So, where do you start? What are some good resources?"

Awesome question ... one in which I am definitely still exploring. I decided that for preschool (which the boys are doing right now), I would wing it. I simply decided to focus on things they enjoyed doing coupled with letters/reading and math. John offered to do a bit of science with them and ... we were done. I subscribe to a couple of homeschooling blogs that offer me some ideas and Pinterest has a wealth of information too. I am going to work on compiling a list of resources that I have been using at the end of this post.

However, when it comes to Kindergarten (next year!) I have been really debating exactly what you are talking about. And here's what you have to decide:

A. Do you pick and choose what you want from where you want OR
B. Do you use a one-size-fits-all curriculum

I am leaning toward B. I am realizing that the amount of time I have to spend finding what I want to do and getting materials and printing papers, etc. might be more than I want. So I am considering simply purchasing a curriculum that I follow along with -- doing what they tell you to do in other words. You pay the money, you get the resource, and you do the work with your child.

You can actually get whole curriculums that work off of video or off of the computer. You can do most of the teaching or you can do none of the teaching (letting a video do it for you). It truly will come down to what fits and feels right for your family. I have two friends on Base right now that homeschool their older children (middle and high school). One does all of the teaching. The other uses computer and video to do the teaching.

As for what they should learn, you can find tons of sites like this one which break down what a child should know at each grade level.

If you live in a fairly big city, consider contacting a homeschool group in your area. If your town is of decent size, trust me, there is one! These people can be a great resource for what would fit you best. I can't wait to get back to the USA to utilize this to the fullest!

7. I'd love to hear more about the "limiting of negative influences from peers." 
I recently read an outstanding book entitled Family Friendly Farming by Joel Salatin. While it has a lot about raising children on a farm, obviously, I loved this book MORE for what it taught me about raising children.

One chapter in his book is entitled "Greenhouse Kids" and it so perfectly illustrated why I want to homeschool that I just had to write some of it down here. In fact, my husband actually highlighted in this book. (He never writes in books). But what the author had to say was THAT good.

It is what my husband and I believe. It isn't that we want to keep them from the world. It is that we want to help prepare them properly for the real world before we throw them right into the midst of it.

Salatin writes:

"If I came to your greenhouse in January and you were planting tomatoes in [a greenhouse] you would look at me like I had two heads if I accused you of sheltering your plants. 'Don't you know these seeds have to make it in the real world?' Both of us would inherently understand the value of getting those seeds off to a good start."

"The whole goal of keeping kids home and protecting them from the world early on is to give them strength and stability, to establish their stem and their viability early so they can take the elements and thrive later on. Any gardener knows the difference between two sets of plants, one started under ideal conditions and one started under harsh conditions. The greenhouse-protected plants will far outperform their outside-planted counterparts."

"[Our children] have not suffered the ridicule and temptation as little tykes because they've been learning social graces from Mom and Dad. Isn't it unfortunate that they won't have the memories of bloody noses, principal's offices, lying to parents and stealing gadgets to tell their children? How misfortunate. What a deprived childhood, that they'll only be able to talk about working, reading and playing with Mom and Dad in a wholesome environment."

"Friends? Yes, they have some friends, but only a few. How many friends did we have in school, surrounded by hundreds of people? Only a few. But we've tried to make sure they just got gold friends, not fool's gold."

8. How did you and John come to process a big decision like this? It seems so often that by the time the kids have gone to bed, we're just too mentally tired to process deeper issues like this.
I'm glad to hear that other people feel that way too! John and I used to try to wait to talk about big things until the kids went to bed. However, we found that we weren't talking when we did that. So now, we try to talk while they are still awake even though what should be a 3 minute conversation might take 3 hours because we have gotten interrupted 300 times!

This decision has been one that has been about five years in the making. We have played with the idea since we adopted Isaac. It has to be something that both people are on board with. If the stay-at-home parent isn't up for the idea, then there really is no discussion and it is a life-changing decision for sure. In the beginning, I was the one who was much more on board, but lately, JB has been the one who has tried to help me believe I can do this.

The big thing that seems to hinder a lot of parents from doing this is the fear that their child might be a little weird or not as "cool" as other kids. They are always saying something about "socialization." I get it. Check out my #9 below for how we feel about that.

In the end though, we've decided that we are going to take this ONE YEAR AT A TIME. For right now, we want to do it. We might change our mind. Our child may want to do something different. That will be something we will approach on a year by year basis.

9. Homeschooling kids are weird! 
Years ago, I think you may have been right. Initially, this seemed to a movement by hippies and radicals. However, if you click here you can jump back to a post featuring statistics of this practice. In 1999, when I was a teacher in Kentucky, there were approximately 850,000 homeschoolers in the USA. Today, there are over 2 million! That is because more and more people are deciding that they want to homeschool, most for the reasons I listed in #3. 36% of families are doing this for religious reasons. But 38% are doing it because they are dissatisfied with the public schools -- either for safety, negative peer pressure, or quality of education.

The truth is, if you ever see a weird homeschool child, check out their parent. Most likely those weird children have weird parents. Nearly every time actually. Fifteen years ago, most homeschool kids I met were weird. Now, however, most that I meet seem to be exceptionally educated, articulate, and polite.

JB and I also realized that our goal is not to raise "cool kids." Our goal is to raise "quality adults." If it came down to it, I'd rather my child was slightly strange but incredibly polite and kind over being very cool but a real jerk!

I love the statistics featured on that link I provided above. Homeschooled kids, generally, are better educated. While there are obviously exceptions to every statistic (that's what makes it a statistic after all), check out these stats:

• 99% of homeschooling kids had a read a book in the last month vs. 69% of public schoolers. 
• 96% of homeschoolers have a general understanding of government. The general population? 65%. 
• 74% of homeschoolers continue on to college vs. 49% non-homeschoolers.
• 71% of homeschoolers participate in community service activities. 37% of non-homeschoolers do.

I also find it interesting that when it comes to subject matter, homeschooled children score in the 84th-89th percentile in every single subject matter. (That means they scored better than 84-89 percent of the population.) that's pretty impressive.

10. You and JB are educated! Some of these homeschoolers have uneducated parents teaching them. 
I disagree. Actually 90% of homeschooled children have parents teaching them that at least have some college education. And 75% of children being homeschooled have a parent teaching them with an associates degree or higher. Actually 67% of homeschooled children have a parent at home that has a bachelor's, master's, or doctorate degree!

11. What resources do you use for homeschooling? 
Right now, very little. We are just getting our feet wet in this big pool of homeschooling stuff. But check back on my blog regularly for more on this topic. There are so many online resources alone. Pinterest is deadly for this. But once we get back to the states, we'll be able to join homeschooling groups. There are co-ops and conferences and anything you want on this topic. The sky is truly the limit!

***Updated 2015*** We are currently using the Charlotte Mason Ambleside Curriculum. The website is done by a bunch of parents and it isn't great but the information is free and outstanding! Here is the link.

***Updated Again 2017***Now that I am homeschooling three children, I am attempting to do it completely for free by being a reviewer on the Homeschool Review Crew (see link on sidebar of my Blog.) This has worked really well for us.

12. What about socialization? Aren't you worried that your children won't be properly socialized? 
I read a great blog discussing this. You can find it by clicking here. I want to quote some passages from Joel Salatin here again. He says it better than I could.

"Children learn from the people they spend the most time with. This is what Rick Boyer, author of numerous home parenting books describes as the difference between socialization and being sociable. When children spend all their time with other children, they are properly socialized, but who wants a household of little socialists? They are doing what everyone else wants to do."

"I wish I had a nickel for every time someone has accosted me at a conference for not properly socializing my children. Honestly, I don't want them socialized. As Boyer points out, what we really want is for them to be sociable. And there's an important difference. Being sociable means having social skills, not social mimicry. Social skills are things like being able to hold polite conversations, thinking of others, eating gracefully and holding doors for ladies. Socialized kids take the path of all other kids."

"And kids can be incredibly tough on each other. If you grew up with a physical defect, you know what I'm talking about. A sociable child would not point and make fun of your big ears or your facial mole. But socialized children taunt and make up nicknames about any anomaly they can find. When Theresa and I got married, we committed ourselves that we would not put our children through what we went through."

"I was a good student, but I had zero values before about 10 years old. And I was a hellion. I got in fights, taunted, got beat up by bullies, and did all sorts of mischief I wish I could forget. And I was a good kid. But I got sucked up in the mentality of the day. I wanted to be liked, wanted to be elected, and was willing to do whatever it took to get there. I wasn't strong enough to walk away, to say no, to stand up to the temptations. And I had a wonderful home, good discipline and excellent parents."

13. How do you manage all 4 kids at once and still be able to teach the boys?  
This reader said: "I only have 3 kids and I'm not homeschooling and already, I have difficulty playing or teaching one or two of the kids, while still supervising the others on the days I'm home with the kids on my own. Do you just schedule school time when the girls are napping? Or have something else that occupies them? I just can't envision it."

This is a great question and a very valid one. This is by the far most challenging part about homeschooling. If all I had were two five-year-olds, it would be easy (in comparison) but managing the younger siblings is what challenges me the most. I have those two boys plus a three-year-old and a baby under a year old which honestly means, the biggest part of what I am trying to do is manage. I try to remember that the really hard time will be now. Once they are all self-sufficient, the great difficulty in management will be lessened. So this is a season.

I read a statistic once that the average kindergartener in public/private school gets 17 minutes a day of one-on-one time with a teacher. I try to remember that while I am "teaching" them each day. That if they are working independently (more than I would like) that they are still getting more individual time then they would be in school. 

I am also blessed in that JB's parents are living with us. They provide a spell for one of the children, especially the girls, frequently. This helps tremendously. When Abigail is really struggling to keep busy, she will say, "I go see Gama?" Then she goes upstairs to Grama's room to play a game. Mom will often take the baby for a walk or Dad will feed her a bottle. These extra hands are incredibly helpful.

That being said, they aren't here all the time. And they won't be here all the time. I have to be able to do this without them, and while it is harder, I feel I am capable if I take each hour as it comes and give myself permission to not be everything I am to everyone.

I tell JB that my hardest thing as a Mom is that I feel like I am "constantly letting someone down." Someone is always needing me. There are many times that it is just me. And how does that work?

Here are some ways I get this to work for me:

• Basically I am trying to do 15-30 minutes of schooling with the boys each hour. So I try to carefully schedule this. It also allows me to leave Hannah (sometimes even screaming) in her play area while I work with the boys knowing that it will not be for more than 30 minutes.
• If Hannah is awake, I will have the boys do something that they can do independently (like their iPAD apps.) When she is asleep, we try to maximize this time -- especially with subjects that require me to be right with them (like math.)
• If Hannah is in a good mood, I will have us all sit down and read with her crawling around us. We will also put her in the sectioned off side of the living room and play a game right on the other side. I use her highchair as well, putting her in there with a few snacks. If I am only shooting to get 15-30 minutes at a time, this is usually feasible. 
• The boys get 30-45 minutes of every hour to play. Often I set the timer at the start of a lesson for 60 minutes. I tell them that as soon as the lesson is done well, they have the rest of that hour to play. It is great motivation. And it also reminds me that when I am done with them, I will have time with the girls.
• Abigail can be very challenging as well as she is only three and her attention span is short. She participates in stories we read. I also bought her some color/shapes workbooks that she likes to do. She will move from coloring to legos to puzzles to a snack to dolls and then when I can see she is really spinning her wheels to stay occupied, I will put on a video for her when I really need the time with the boys. Generally, she gets to watch one video by herself each morning while Hannah is asleep and I am trying to maximize one-on-one time with the boys.
• I am constantly trying to multitask. For instance, if the boys are writing their letters, I may stand up while they are really "on task" and put away some dishes or sweep the floor while I can watch what they are doing. 
• I have the kids help with nearly everything I can. Laundry, dishes, dog, vacuuming, etc. They are involved. This allows me to have them "stay busy" while I am working with another kid. Lately, the boys have been addicted to their legos which has eliminated some of the boredom issues we can run into. 
• I'll often swap how we do things depending on how crazy it is. For instance, generally the boys read with me each day for 15 minutes each. But if it is just too crazy, I will tell them that this particular day they are going to do their reading themselves. 

I hope that helps lay it out a bit more!

14. What about registration for homeschooling? 
This was more of a nuts and bolts question. "Are you registering with an LEA or an umbrella homeschooling organization that will eventually want you to take standardized tests? I see the avoiding of standardized tests to be one of the main benefits of homeschooling, and I would like to point your blog to somebody who is under the impression that his son still needs to take state sanctioned (common core) tests, so he needs a common core curriculum." 

Another outstanding question. In Tennessee, you are required to enroll your student in the local public school (but not have them attend), enroll them in an online school, or enroll through an "umbrella" school. We have chosen the "umbrella" option. (Each State is different when it comes to homeschooling, and there are definitely states that more friendly or less friendly to the community of homeschoolers.) 

We do not have to adhere to any Common Core requirements and can use any curriculum we want. If we chose to enroll them independently through the local public school, our children would be required to test in grades 5, 7 and 9 on the grade level state curriculum in Reading/Language Arts, Math, Science, and Social Studies. It appears, from what I can gather, testing at the umbrella school is based on which school you are with. However, there are no required results for the testing so it really doesn't matter except that they would have to take the test.

15. The public school system needs help. If everyone keeps pulling their kids out of the school, the system won't get fixed. I agree that the system needs help. However, I think my priority is my children not the system. I read a great blog discussing this. You can find it by clicking here. In addition, I am seeing more and more public school teachers who are quitting when they have their own children because they can't imagine putting their own child in the system they teach in. Click here to read an article on this topic. Here are some other articles discussing some of the failings of the public school system, and why I just can't trust this educational system for my children.

• How twisted early childhood education has become -- from a child development expert.

16. How will you teach evolution?  
One reader asked: "I recall at one point in your blog you talking about how JB does not believe in evolution. How will you approach scientific conversations about the beginning of the world with the kids? will you present both sides and allow them to decide or present only one? another option?"

Great question. Firstly, unless I am not remembering correctly, I do not think I have ever said that on the Blog. you are incorrect that JB does not believe in evolution. We actually do believe in evolution in a more modified manner .... I have a request for his more scientific answer and am hoping he can get to it soon.

That being said, we definitely believe in presenting "theories" of both evolution AND creative design (AND more of a combination of the two). We will obviously teach our children what we believe, but JB is actually a proponent of evolution being taught in the school alongside other THEORIES.

JB is actually VERY into apologetics and has read nearly every book there is to read on the subject. but JB actually believes in a much older earth than some protestant Christians actually adhere to. We also are not homeschooling, really, at all, because of what our children would be taught in the public school. Truly I think the few things that they might get that we don't agree with are things we can discuss at home. For us, the reasons are much bigger than that (refer to question 3 above.


17. How do you homeschool different ages? 
This readers question was as follows: "What I imagine to be a difficult part of homeschooling is doing so for different ages concurrently. I can't imagine trying to teach my 7 year old and my 3 year old while my toddler needs attention. Even just getting my 1st grader to do his homework while trying to keep an eye on the other 2 kids is challenging! Then as they get older and are all doing school activities at once, I feel like it would be really difficult to give each the attention and teaching they need at different stages and learning levels while still trying to make sure to incorporate the appropriate curriculum, etc. I'm highly educated, but very intimidated by homeschooling!" 

I read a statistic (that I am currently unable to verify) that the average American student receives less than 20 minutes a day of actual interaction with a teacher per day. (I think the number was about 14 minutes, but I can't find it so I don't want to say for sure.) I quote that to say that I don't think any system (even homeschooling) can do it all. Something will have to give. In the home, attention will be split between other children (if there are other children.) In the school, attention will be split between other students. 

One thing I want to note is that homeschooling is becoming so incredibly popular that now, you really do not have to be able to do it all. There are tutorials and co-ops -- many cities offer so much that the choices are seemingly endless. You can put them in any sport or activity you want. I am in TN and there are honestly so many resources that I just have to shut myself down to them in fear of being overwhelmed. Field trip groups and online groups and library groups and art groups and math groups. 

But what is unique about these groups is that nearly all of them cater to families with multiple children in many age groups. Most activities are open to children in a 3-5 year age span. And, parents are encouraged to bring that baby on their hip or their teenager to help with things. It is a very family-welcoming atmosphere.

I'd like to argue that I really think dividing attention if a child is in school vs. if a child is homeschooled is not necessarily more challenging but just differently challenging. (That grammar is a little bad but it seemed to work here.) If your child is in school, he is getting just a small portion of a teacher -- sharing him/her with sometimes over 30 other students. If they are at home, they are sharing mom with other siblings. I'd like to think the sibling sharing is not as bad as the sharing with dozens of other students.

18. There is a really good Christian/private school down the street with a low student-to-teacher ratio. I think they can do a better job. They very well might be able to. Again, I do not want to tell you to homeschool or that it is best. I have no idea what is best for your family. I attended Christian school for 13 years, and it was a a great experience, but I do not think I got a superior education or that I was protected from outside influences like my parents might have hoped. In addition, not everyone can afford a private/Christian school education which is another reason many choose to homeschool. I really think the decision is a personal one. Make the one that is best for your family.

19. Are you trying to recruit people to homeschool? Do you think everyone should do it? No. Honestly, I could CARE LESS who else homeschools and whether or not you do it. It's your child. Do what you want. Seriously! I wrote about this on another blog post you can read by clicking here. That being said, I am passionate about it, and if someone asks me about it, I'll fill you in and give you all the information I know. (You will find this true of most homeschooling parents. They readily share information and materials with anyone and everyone.) I also love this article entitled: The Public School Parents' Guide to Homeschool Parents.


20. You were a public school teacher. I have no teaching experience. You don't have to have teaching experience to homeschool. While it is true that I was a teacher, most homeschooling parents aren't, and I believe it is a fallacy that you need to be to do a good job. Click here for a great blog post on this topic: Are you Qualified?

21. What does an actual homeschool day look like?
Honestly, homeschooling looks so different on so many people and in so many different families. Check out this link to see some real families in homeschooling action. 

Have another question? Please leave a comment to ask away!