We Bought a Farm: How do I say good bye?

I have no idea how to say good bye to my Scrubby. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. But I am at a loss. How do you say good bye to 9 loyal years of companionship?

I wish he spoke. I wish he could tell me it is okay. I wish he could tell me that he is ready to go with words.

JB and I promised each other than the moment we saw him suffering, we would let him go. We saw that today and knew instantly that it was time. We wanted his life to end on a good note.

I wish we had more time with him. I wish it wasn't now. I wish he could enjoy the farm for a few more years. We all waited so long to get here.

I am absolutely dumb-founded that an animal can do this to me. I never understood it. I never experienced a pet before Scrubs. I had no idea what they do to your heart. I have no idea how I can come home everyday and not have him here. I have no idea how I can wake up in the morning and not scratch his head.

I will write more later. I will process this more fully. For now, I go to bed. Tomorrow at 2pm the vet will come to help us say good bye to our sweet boy.

I love you Scrubs. I love you so very, very, very much. You have changed my life. You saved my life. You were there for me when no one else could be. Thank you for your heart nose and your sock eating and your counter surfing and your flashlight chasing and your ear nibbling and your cheese and peanut butter loving ways.

I love you sweet boy.

Good boy.