Tuesday Truth

I trudge on (a wheelbarrow analogy)

 

We are born. And our parents hand us a wheelbarrow. And they show us the well-worn path that they have been using to go up and down the mountain. 

As time goes on, we had bricks to our wheelbarrow. Hard events. Big things. Trauma. Pain. More and more and more bricks. 

And then one day we realize, this path that I've been trudging along is not the best path. It's the long way. It's the hard way. It's not the path I should be on. It's the path my parents showed me, but they had their own parents to put them on a path, and they may have not realized they were following in "normal family patterns." 

So you have your wheelbarrow veer out of the rut. And you decide to start trying to push the wheelbarrow up and down the mountain in a path without a rut.

And it is

H
A
R
D

Really, really hard.  

You keep sliding back into the rut. Oh, it is so easy to maneuver when you are in the rut. Except you now know this is not the best path. You now know it is a fake easy. It's not good for you.

So you force yourself out of the rut again.

And again.

And again.

And you slide back in again.

And again.

And again.

And at the same time, you are trying to remove bricks. Get those bricks out of there. Look at the pain. Toss it away. Listen to Jesus. 

Keep trudging.

This is me. Forging a new path. It's super uncomfortable. 

But I trudge on. 

Very first video

The very first video John and I ever recorded. This was before phones. This was on a digital camera. It was 19 years ago. We were visiting Mt. Rushmore. Here it is. 

And here was video #2 which shows John with hair. 

Fear of Man

As I continue to learn to trust the Lord despite what other people may think of me, I find that each day I am learning to rest in Jesus and not in man just a little bit more. By little, I would say that each day, I step up like a tenth of a percent. The growth is just so minuscule. But it's growth. 

The fear of man is a slow drift from holy dependence to human validation. It will have you performing acts of devotion that look spiritual but are rooted in insecurity. It will have you  over-explaining or over-proving, hoping to stay in people's good graces -- when you have ALREADY BEEN COVERED by God's good grace. 

At its core, fear of man is rebellion wearing religious clothing. Because anytime we give someone else the authority to define our worth, we've built an idol. 

Gulp. 

This Bible verse, really, really, really spoke to me. A bit part of anxiety is a feeling of being "unsafe" in your body. But this Bible verse shows that trust in the Lord brings you the safety your body so greatly desires. 

I stumbled upon a Facebook post yesterday from Riley Gaines sharing how she does not live to please people. 

Do I?

Do you know ... or do I know ... that I have the RIGHT to negotiate for my own needs, desires, and preferences in every relationship. Every single time? 

Really?! Even with family? Even with close friends? I'm allowed to say: I'm sorry. That isn't working for me? 

Seriously? 

I am allowed to voice my opinion even if others disagree. 

Seriously? 

I still can't believe that is true. 

Their discomfort with my opinion is not a reason that I should abandon my opinion. 

Oh

my

goodness.

Woah.

I have the right to determine who has the privilege (and yes, I wrote privilege) of being in my life. Not everyone deserves access to me and my tender heart. 

Woah. 

Seriously.

It'll take me a long time to continue to digest all of these things.

Puppies!

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