Thursday Truth

Life update

We are STILL getting clobbered by weather. Overnight there was rain, then a drop in temps, and then more snow. John made it into work today, but the boys college classes were closed until 11am. It just keeps coming. I'm really ready for January to be over. 

I'm really ready for this "process" that I've been in to be over too. Healing your nervous system is so incredibly, unbelievably, terribly slow. Two steps forward, one and a half steps backward. Over and over and over again. 

All of this began for me in January of 2024. I had a ten month window that I felt really good, but now I've been on this struggle bus since the summer of 2025. Eight months! How long Jesus? How long? 

The thing is, I am learning how to suffer with Jesus. I never knew how to do that. I always saw emotion: sadness, disappointment, grief, etc. as bad and so I pushed it away and didn't sit in. I'm learning to sit in it. But it is SOOOO uncomfortable. 

I am so limited in what I can do. I can't spend the time with friends that I would like to. I have to be so deliberate in what I do and in making sure that I am taking care of myself first. And then my family. 

I want SO badly to be through this. Oh if there was a magic pill, I would take it. It actually makes me understand why people: do drugs, drink, overeat, scroll, sleep too much, etc. All of those are coping mechanisms to not feel this YUCK. Feeling it is nearly unbearable, and if I could take a shortcut, I would be SOooooo tempted to do so. 

One day at a time Sweet Jesus, but I long to be on the other side of this. 

And on the other side of January too. 

Big snow

Biggest snow in 30 years!! And today it was -4!! Brutal cold. Been at home since Friday. Co-op cancelled for second week in a row. 

Raven in the snow

Here are few fun videos of Raven in the snow yesterday. We had eight inches!

Raven #1 

Raven #2 

Raven #3 

Snow storm!

We were supposed to have a snowstorm last weekend, and while we did get some ice, we got barely any snow. That is not the case one weekend later. We need to go out and measure, but I would guess we've had close to 8 inches of snow? Here's what it looked like this morning after snowing for about 12 hours:

 

And here is a video of our sheep. We rarely do hay, but the snow forced our hand on this one. 

My Abigail

This was my Abigail. I remember being so confused by how clingy she was, but I am so glad I got a hold of a good book (The Highly Sensitive Child) and John helped me to see how important it was to just let her be who she is! She is barely a remnant of that shy little girl! Oh how I miss her clinging to my leg.