Fairhaven

This past weekend, Aunt Jan and I took Hannah and cousin Genevieve to an amazing spot nestled in the woods: FAIRHAVEN MINISTRIES. What a peaceful place!!!

 

This was Hannah's Christmas present. I was so glad we were able to make it happen! 

 

 

Continuing to learn

I continue to heal my nervous system. I wish I could explain what this process entails, however, this picture (above) from one of my group calls today does a pretty good job showing some of what I am learning. Shiv is one of our mentors. All of our mentors have gone through the program. I want to have flexible thinking. I want to be able to bend and move with the storms instead of breaking from rigidness. 

Retraining the, quite frankly, horrible thinking patterns I spent decades of my life existing in, is no small task. It is exhausting. It feels like it can't ever happen. I have to trust the process. I am learning to do that.  

Hannah Flashback

 I love finding old videos of our little Hannah Pomegranate. Mannnnn, was she a fun kid. (Still is actually!)

A laugh

 

Two years. 

That's how long it's been since I started on this trauma-enduced-anxiety-alleviating journey. 

There have been moments of reprieve. But, for a lot of the journey it has been a challenge. I'm not Wendi. I'm sort of Wendi. But I'm not her. 

I miss her.

And yet I know that on the other side, I'll never actually be her again.

I'm going to be a different Wendi. A better Wendi. A healed Wendi.

Sometimes, the numbness and emptiness and sadness feels like it will never end. However, then there are moments when I look at a picture like the one above, and I laugh out loud, and I think I am in there. I'm in there. Hang on Wendi. You will be free soon.

Those first two rows are our group. My friend Jessica. Her daughter Bailey (who is completely missing in the first row), Joan, Bri ... and I laughed. 

I'm working hard to come home. 

Hang on little Wendi. 

Freedom is coming. 

 

The Pause

Puppies

We have sold all NINE of our puppies.You can click here to see a video of our puppies. The first one goes home tomorrow (and the last one will go home on June 1).