Missing Scrubby

The doctor said we couldn't have kids. That we needed to put away our hopes and move on.

I tried.

But I couldn't.

I worked from home. My husband was a resident working insane hours. And I'd walk out of my house on our military base and see kids everywhere. 

Chubby arms around parents' necks. 

Softball tossing in the front yard.
A long line to board the school bus.

Bike riding. 

Squeals.

Laughter.

And in my house?

Silence.

I felt completely and utterly alone. My house was clean. But quiet. Too quiet.

And then my husband, desperate to heal my hurting heart, sat me in front of the computer and went to youtube. A video of a tiny little pile of spots started dancing on the screen.

"Who is that?' I asked.

"Your dog," he said.

And I cried.

A week later I found myself at the airport, literally hopping from one foot to the other as I waited for the flight from Delaware to land. In the belly of a plane was my dog. 

My Scrubs.

We had a happy marriage. We loved each other deeply. But we were lonely. We were missing something that we had never met. Scrubs would never be a child. But he made us laugh. He filled our house with activity, and I instantly found myself happier.

I would go for walks with my big pile of spots and be mauled by young children wanting to pet the puppy. Every spare second during my work-from-home day would be spent exercising said puppy. I would collapse into bed at night so exhausted I wasn't even sure I wanted children.

I fell in love with a dog. He truly was my first child. And that child would go on to welcome each of my children into our home without hesitation.

First up. Isaac:

Next up! Sidge:
(This one really makes me laugh -- Sidge loved when Scrubs licked him in the mouth! Gross!)

And then Abigail:

Next up Hannah:

He was such a good dog. He loved his family. He welcomed each of these four crazy children into our home.

The new puppies are so nice and have helped my heart heal more than I thought they would. But I think about Scrubs everyday.

Yesterday, when we were driving up to our house, Sidge said, "You know what I wish? I wish Scrubby was going to fly down the driveway to greet us."

"So do I little buddy. So do I."