Due date is here!

Today, I am officially 40 weeks pregnant!

It was a rough evening. JB and Scrubs went for a run around 5pm, and while I had been having contractions all day, I started having some pretty intense contractions around 5:15pm. By about 7:30pm they had peaked into the worst set I have had yet. They continued until about 9:30pm at which time I felt that things were light enough that I could probably manage to get some sleep. I did. Relief. I manged to sleep for about six hours before being woken up by them again.

It is now 3:45am. JB would tell me not to be on my computer. The physician in him does not recommend computer or TV when you can't sleep. However, this bout of wakefulness doesn't have to do with the inability to fall asleep for any other reason than these darned contractions. I'm just waiting until they die down a bit before trying to get another hour or two of shut eye on the couch.

I so covet all the people that are praying for us right now. I am a little overwhelmed with the thought that if I am not "ready" this morning, I could be waiting four more days. Some hours/moments/days I think, "I can do this for another week. No problem." But some times I just feel that I do not have the ability to deal with even another moment of contractions. I know this doesn't compare to labor. I just didn't feel prepared for the idea that I could spend weeks having contractions before the real labor started. I know that I can do it. I know that I will do whatever I need to do. I just know I am getting a little weary. I realized that I have been fighting these things for nearly two weeks now. They started last Monday. Each day they get a little worse and the periods of relief a little shorter. But each day brings us closer to meeting Elijah.

It is in moments like these that I try to remember what is actually happening here. Somehow, and I still cannot even fathom this, JB and I are going to have a baby. How did we go from years and years and years of wishing, crying, hoping, pleading, praying, to preparing to bring a second little boy into our lives? Isaac was in such a fun mood last night and I couldn't help but start cracking up a few times, inbetween breaths, as I watched him and JB playing. At one point, Scrubs was lying down in front of Isaac with his head on JB's lap and his backside facing Isaac. His tail was right in Isaac's face. Our little boy kept his face right there so he could feel Scrubby's tail whapping him back and forth back and forth. JB and I were laughing so hard. We are so in love with this little boy (and the dog is pretty cool too) and so amazingly blessed to have the opportunity to meet his brother in a short period of time.

It is these thoughts that encourage me when it is 3:45 in the morning, and I am a bit weary. God has carried us through so much. Surely I can depend on him to just help me in these last few steps.

In addition to praying for me this Friday, would you say an extra prayer for those individuals reading this today who are grieving? My heart is heavy this morning for a few close friends in particular who I know are so excited for me and yet so burdened by their own sadness, frustrations, and seemingly unanswered prayers. I remember all to well how it felt to watch my friends, even those who had dealt with infertility, become parents, while JB and I continued to wait for our turn. It's amazing that you can be so happy and so sad all rolled into one. I am thinking of you this morning dear friends. You know who you are. And I pray that the prayers of everyone reading this post brings you a happy day in the Lord.