Wednesday, November 27, 2013

14 things you should NOT say to a tall person

Please note that I am perfectly comfortable (NOW) being tall. I am not bitter. This post is meant to be sort of funny and fun. Yes, I know people see being tall as a good thing. However, I felt the need to educate the public regarding how unorginal their "funny" comments are.

1. How's the weather up there?
 Maybe I should just spit on your and say, "It's wet." Seriously folks? It's like a 1-2 foot difference. The weather is the same. You know it. I know it. I know you think this is an original question, but we've heard it about 7,000 times. Trust me. It's not funny. It's annoying. This is such a common question that there are shirts made to answer it:

2. Do you play basketball? 
I mean, do you ask every short person if they are a horse jockey or a gymnast?  And, there are short basketball players too so this doesn't really even make sense! Here's my answer to that question (again, the question is so unoriginal that shirts have been made):

3. You make me feel so short.
This is an incredibly uncomfortable statement. It all of a sudden makes a tall person feel incredibly uncomfortable and huge. And if the tall person said, "Gosh, you make me feel tall!" how would that make you feel? Let's just leave the obvious alone. No need to rub it in.

4. Good luck finding a husband.
I have heard variations of this question or comment many times. They either ask, "Did you find a husband?" or "How tall is your husband?" It makes a woman feel like they have a strange disease that would prevent anyone from loving them. I have a husband, and he likes me!

5. Where do you find clothes?
The only time this question is okay is if you really need to know because you are tall or you have a tall child or you need to shop for a tall person. You would never ask an overweight person how they find clothes to fit. I'm dressed. I found clothes. 

6. You're an Amazon.
Yes, people have said this to me. No, I don't like it. Other words that are similar: Jolly Green Giant, Big Bird, Ogre, etc.

  1. 7. "When are you going to stop growing?"
  2. I've been this tall since I was 12 years old. I am 36 now. I think I am done growing. I think I'll tap a man on the head who says this and reply, "Don't worry hun. As soon as you hit puberty, you'll stop growing too."

  3. 8. You're so big.
  4. We prefer tall instead of big. 

9. Your children are going to be so tall.
Genetically, children look like their parents. Let's just leave it at that.

10. What size shoe do you wear?
Taller people probably have bigger feet. Just assume their shoe size is big.

11. How tall are you?
It's not that this question is bad. It's just that the question gets old. We would really like to talk about something else. My brother actually had six-ten monogrammed on a hat to stop having to answer the same question over and over again.

12. Are you on stilts?
I group this in the "extremely rude" category. Asking if I am standing on a box goes with this one.

13. You're so tall!
This statement is so obvious. What really annoys me about it is, what do you say in response? I know. Uh huh. Thank you for telling me. 

14. How did you get so tall?
Really? Do we need a birds and the bees discussion? I was born this way!

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