Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A little bit trickier

My life has gotten a little bit trickier.

Crawling has done one thing in our house. Less fussing. Elijah seems so happy to be able to get where he wants. He seems so at peace with his new freedom.

He follows Isaac everywhere and can move quite fast. Isaac has also regressed to crawling a lot again so he can be on the same level and operating at the same speed as his little brother. Sometimes Elijah uses the lunge and flop method but he can also crawl like a "regular" baby as well. He'll crawl from the Tupperware cabinet, to the computer, back to the nursery, under the kitchen table . . . basically, everywhere. He can pull up pretty regularly now but sometimes doesn't know how to sit back down. Today I found him in the nursery standing up, feet flat on the ground, with his hands flat on a basket, and his butt straight up in the air. He was completely stuck. Couldn't stand up any farther, didn't know how to sit down. And Isaac trying to figure out how to move this little guy so he could continue to roll his cars on the basket.

While I am happy that he is more content, I feel like I am having a little trouble adjusting to this stage in our home. Suddenly I have two little babies going everywhere. If I close all the doors in the hallway except the door to Isaac's nursery and shut the gate to the kitchen, the entire area is childproof. This works pretty well. I can also shut the door to the nursery if I want them even more contained.

However, Isaac is able to handle a lack of containment. He knows the rules and boundaries. So he wants more freedom. He wants to be able to go into the kitchen and see Scrubs. He likes to play by himself in his room.

Elijah however doesn't understand boundaries and is at that age where saying "no" might as well be saying "I love you." It means nothing to him. Of course, I keep saying it, keep moving him away from the item off limits, and keep knowing that one day it will register. But for now, it doesn't. He loves to grab onto the vertical blinds and rip them out -- we've lost three already. He will touch any outlet he can get to. Of course they are covered, but we still go with a firm "no" for those. Today I must not have shut the bathroom door all the way. I thought he was in the nursery and found him in the bathroom! Not good at all. Ugh.

Scrubs complicates things as well. Actually it isn't Scrubs as much as it is the boys tormenting him. If I let him out with the boys, then I have to watch three "people." If I shut him in the kitchen, one of the boys inevitably comes up to the gate, begging to get in to see Scrubs. If I go into the kitchen to get anything, they come to the gate, begging to be let in. Isaac has limited signs and vocabulary so he likes to show me things. If he wants to show me something in the kitchen that he wants to eat, I need to open the gate. Where do I put Scrubs? Where do I put Elijah? The other day I scooped up Elijah and went into the kitchen. Scrubs was on the inside and Isaac on the outside. I must not have shut the gate all the way because when I turned around, they had switched sides. There was Scrubs on the outside and Isaac on the inside. Sneaky little guys!

In addition, big brother, while exhibiting great patience with little brother nearly all the time, sometimes loses that patience. Isaac grows tired of Elijah following him everywhere and wanting to play with everything he is playing with. He looks at me as if to say, "Mom, are you going to do something about this leech or what?!" He very rarely does anything about it except a few cries and sometimes a very light push to back Elijah up.

Isaac also seems to want whatever Elijah is playing with. Today I was reading to Isaac on the couch. Elijah crawled over to Isaac's big car. Suddenly Isaac was crawling off of my lap midbook (something he never does) to get to that car. If Elijah had it, he wanted it.

I feel bad because Isaac can understand "gentle", "wait", "be nice", "share" while Elijah can't. So I keep having to tell Isaac to be gentle, to wait, to be nice, to share, while Elijah grabs at anything and everything he can.

I know that like all other stages we have entered into, I will soon find my groove. I know that Elijah will start understanding "no" and being able to comprehend punishments like Isaac can. (Although our mellow Isaac very rarely needs any consequences -- so far, he's a great listener.) I also know that they will learn to work together. They will become best friends. As JB has told me, they'll be the best of friends and the worst of enemies all wrapped into one.

We weighed the boys today. They both weigh exactly 26.5 pounds. When they are moving around they look like twins. However, if they were twins, they'd be at the same stage. They'd understand the same things. They'd both be able to push each other around. But they aren't twins. They are just a bit apart. And that bit seems to be where the complications are arising.

For now, a few extra prayers muttered in our direction would be fantastic. Just pray that I have wisdom, that I continue to practice playing offense instead of defense, that Scrubs figures out a way to avoid the grasps of two little boys, you know, those types of things.

Don't get me wrong. We are doing fantastic. It isn't totally chaotic all the time. Okay, well maybe it is, but I have a good system, and it is working. I just need to catch onto this stage a little bit more. I feel like I am playing catch up all day long. I'll get there. We'll get there.

And the adventures will continue.

7 comments:

AW said...

Feeling like you're trying to catch up all the time?

I totally GET this. I'm chronically behind on EVERYTHING. The only thing different with EK than with JK, is that I don't feel the incredibly strong need to catch up. I'm a lot easier on myself this time. So I have lots of dirty dishes and mountains of laundry and a ring on my tub. But I'm sure enjoying my boys more right now than ever before! Hopefully, in 30 years, I'll not regret my choice to let some of the housework go and spend more time with my babies and husband.

denise said...

I'm sorry, Wendi! I believe the non crawling to crawling is the hardest - not the walking! In my opinion the crawling to walking is pretty much the same, you just have to move stuff higher or further away from the edges. We experience this as well all throughout the boys life the differences of their individual personalities. Even though they were all born at the same time, they are different and learn differently. One is my verbal kid, one is my body smart kid, and another is my listener. I always wanted them to get different toys so we could have three times the stuff to play with. However, they started to want the same ONE. That one is whatever someone ELSE is playing with! From first to last there was 4 months difference from crawling to walking. Even to this day I have one that is more physical and his other brother (who is by far my biggest in size) will just sit and cry as the other ones try to tackle and wrestle. His inclination is not to do that type of thing and he does not understand he is actually bigger and could beat them all! I promise, I am not trying to say "get used to it" like some well wisher might say "it never changes". It does change. One will dissolve, and on to your next learning challenge. You could try and give Isaac some space a little bit of the day by putting Elijah in his high chair with some toys for 5-10 minutes. His excersauser, a johnny jump up, etc. Also, I have found my kids play better together after they wake up. It's closer to nap and bed time that they are at each other. You might want to use that as their own play time if you can. Just recently I can set a timer for 5 minutes and everyone gets their own play area. They complain, but it really helps! One is in the living room, the other in their room, and the third in the play room. After the time goes off they switch rooms. We do this one round and then they come together to play better! Just a few thoughts, sorry to ramble :)

Wendi Kitsteiner said...

Denise, you aren't rambling at all! I wanted you to go on and on. I read your comment about six times! :) If anyone knows what to do, it would be you! You did it with one more. I agree with you 100% about the crawling being harder than the graduation to walking. I found that with Isaac for sure. I appreciate your honesty and suggestions. I really like the idea of the high chair playtime for a bit! And they do seem to play better after they wake up. So true I guess that your's were probably not at the same place developmentally just b/c they were triplets. Thanks Denise!

Carrie said...

I enjoyed reading the suggestions from Denise, too. We've recently been approached with a possible adoption situation... the baby is due in about two weeks and we have a little one at home. If this works out, they'll only be 4 months apart! Everyone keeps saying "oh! it'll be like having twins!" While I agree in some ways it will be like that, in other ways it's going to be way different. I can definitely see pros and cons to both scenarios: On one hand Kasen is already sleeping through the night so I'll only be getting up with one baby, but on the other hand, he's also getting ready to start teething... A teething baby and a newborn! ACK!

So yeah- I am reading everything I can to pick up tips on how to deal with those types of age differences.

Becky said...

Praying for you as you adapt to this new challenge Wendi. You guys have done an amazing job so far and I feel confident you will find your groove again.

Lisa Cronk said...

What I hear from parents again and again (and seems so true even with my only kiddo so far) is that as soon as they figure out how to parent their children at one stage, the kid is on to something totally different and what worked yesterday all of a sudden doesn't work anymore and they have to come up with new ways to parent. That is only compounded when there are 2 or more kids at different developmental levels. Don't get discouraged! You are doing a fantastic job!
: ) Lisa

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