Wendi's mom (aka "Lady Di") speaks!

Here is a post written by my Mom. She is not a writer, and so she was very nervous about writing this post. However, I think she did an awesome job. Don't you?

One of Wendi's blog stalkers had asked some questions back on January 2 about George and me. She wanted to know about our early years and how I handled time alone (of which I had much for quite a few years.)

It's nice to me to think that someone would be interested in my life, but it also became like a homework assignment. Writing doesn't come as easy as it does for Wendi. Plus it got me to thinking. I think I tend to live more in the moment. I don't get people who are always looking back and comparing or always looking forward to the next "whatever." I like to enjoy where I am. Would you REALLY want to go back there?

I guess we all live life differently -- not saying my way is right, but I like my way! Sometimes it seemed like we were stuck where we were, and I couldn't wait until the kids walked or went to school or . . . well, I missed stuff but no regrets!! I have forgotten a lot that I wish I did remember. I blinked and the kids were gone and on their own! There were some really tough years that seemed almost hopeless for a long time, but now, it's almost like a dream. I know it was tough but it's difficult to remember a lot of it. The Kenny Chesney song fits pretty well "Don't Blink."

I do think that if I had years of spending time with my husband and then suddenly had long periods where I was alone, like Wendi is doing now, it would be hard. I started out spending a lot of time alone and guess I just adapted. I didn't know any better! I was really young when we got married (19!! That is too young!!) and in the beginning (before children) I would go to all of George's games. I really didn't have any interests of my own back then; I just sort of revolved my life totally around George and his schedule. I think George would admit that he was pretty self centered . . . ummmm . . . selfish maybe? No, just self-centered. He was a star athlete through high school and college and pretty much stuff was about him. He warned me that it would be a busy time, but I was so in love; I didn't think that would be a problem.

He was kind and loving but life revolved a lot around him. He did work very hard. He taught all the PE classes in the very beginning. He always coached three sports during the year. Cross country for a while, then volleyball, basketball and softball or baseball. In his spare time he played on a softball league, basketball league, and golfed. Then he watched sports was on TV all weekend.

After the kids were born, life sort of changed. We had one car and it wasn't so easy to get the kids up and out early to bring him to school. We were pretty structured with bedtimes and routines. There were many days that he would leave about 7:30am, and I wouldn't see or speak to him until after 10:00pm. (No cell phones back then!) When he was home, his mind was pretty much on the next game and our next couple of days after the game were determined by if they won or lost or how they played.We had no extra money so we really didn't do much else but go to games. We did have some couples we hung around with and would do some stuff with them on weekends sometimes. That was always a treat for me, and George got to watch and talk more sports with the guys. We still are friends with some of those couples so that was a really good thing!

When the kids were older and Wen was in Kindergarten, I started doing some working outside of the home. I hit one year that I just totally rebelled. I guess I became very selfish, or self-absorbed (maybe a little tired?) I refused to go to the games and was not supportive at all. It was an awful time. I felt very sorry for me. Divorce wasn't an option so was I stuck in this? It got to the point that I really liked my alone time and almost resented when George was around. Finally, I cried and asked God to please fix it.

Do you know what He said to me? (No, it wasn't an audible voice, but I still remember that still small voice in my spirit.) He told me to get involved with George's stuff. This was his job and his life and I needed to be part of it. Can you imagine? Why did I have to change? What about George? I fought it for awhile but finally told George what God had told me. To sort of shorten the story, I started keeping score for his games and when the kids were playing, I was score keeping for 3-4 games a night after working all day. Do you know those were some of the best years of my life? It brought such a closeness and a bonding in our little family. It helped get the kids a college education and caused us to be together a lot instead of everyone going their own directions. (It also started the bad habit of eating out a lot, but if we wanted meals together that was pretty much the only option. I haven't had a McDonalds in quite some time.)

It wasn't easy all the time, but the pay off has been good. God was a big part of our lives, but we had our priorities a little skewed. He wasn't always the center, but we did love Him, and I believe He was patient and worked with us in our ignorance. There is a neat scripture that I think sums it up. God is working in me, giving me the desire and power to do His good pleasure. Phil 2:13.

George and I have been married for 32 years now and have had our struggles but we are so glad we didn't give up. God was working on George during this time too. He has changed A LOT!! We did work at being a united front and keeping our relationship a priority, the best we knew how. When the kids went to college, we still had our relationship with each other. The relationship we have now is so cool. George still loves his sports, but he loves me more! I feel cherished and taken care of. I think George feels loved and cared for as well. We love just hanging out together (and now we have a bit more $$ so we can go out and play). We have a great relationship with our kids. We are so blessed, and it keeps getting better.

I think it was 'funkymonkey' who said she had family or friends w/ husbands in coaching . . . just a suggestion. If you are friends with a coach or your kids are being coached especially by a younger coach with a young family, think about offering to take their kids of an evening (that there are no games or practices.) Let them have some quality time together. Maybe even treat them to dinner and a movie. I had friends bring me dinner a few nights a week. Be a friend to the coach's wife and don't bad mouth the coach to her. I used to hate to sit in the stands because I would hear those comments about "Why is he doing that? Why doesn't he put so and so in etc." Support the coach if they are winning or losing. It can get kind of lonely sometimes.

Last night was homecoming at the school. It was fun to see some former students, players and teachers that we had relationship with years ago. We had some wonderful times over the years. That's where our focus is.

I'm not sure if that's what you wanted to hear but thanx for showing an interest. It was kind of fun looking back and seeing where God has taken us.I'll close with a favorite saying I have.
I LOVE MY LIFE right now!!!