Behind the back pity party

Isaac has been walking with his hands behind his back. It is the cutest thing. Somehow Joan managed to capture it on camera not once but twice. Too cute.

Speaking of Joan, she left this morning. She blessed me by staying until about 9:30am. This turned out to be a bigger gift than either she or I could imagine. First of all, she heard Scrubs whining to go out at 3:30am (I had given him a bone that had bothered his stomach). I had shut the gate and my bedroom door and was sleeping on JB's side of the bed near the fan. I would have never heard him! Had she not heard him, we could have had a large mess in the kitchen upon waking up.

Then, when Elijah got up at 4am, she took him from me and gave him a bottle at 4 and 7 while I slept until 7:15! Glorious! I woke up at the same time as Isaac, and Joan then helped me get both boys fed, bathed, and changed and then watched them while I ran around doing all the things I knew I couldn't do when she left. It really helped to have here an extra morning. She could have left at the crack of down so I am blessed by this.

Many people have asked how Joan handles being around Isaac. Or how I handle her being her since she is Bri's mom. I can't explain it to anyone on the outside, but it just works so well. I do not feel in any way that Joan or Bri's involvement in our lives is intrusive. It's a blessing! They will always play a special role in the lives of not only Isaac but any other children we have. That's just how close our families are. And Joan loves my boys! I think it is important to understand that Joan would have played a very special role in the lives of any children I had. She loves being around Elijah equally to being around Isaac. She quickly acknowledges to anyone who asks or comments that Isaac is our son. She just feels incredibly blessed to know where he is and be able to watch him grow up.

In fact, in speaking of blessings, I am reminded everyday how much I need people in my life. Joan coming was an amazing blessing. She may not think much of it, but she took time out of her life to hang out with me and change dirty diapers for four days. My mother-in-law, Mom and Joan have been invaluable to me during the last few months. Each time they have given up time with their husbands and from their lives to help me. What would we do in this world without friends and family?

As Joan drove away today, I had a small pity party for myself. How much easier it would be if we lived by family. What if I could just call an aunt or a grandma or a Joan for a reprieve or some company? I think I am especially feeling this because some of the people that have been the most helpful to me during the lives of my two boys: Brittney and Bobbie (and her girls) are getting ready to move very soon.

Brittney is one of those people that can add a child or two or three to her life and not miss a step. She was such a help with Isaac in the months preceding, during, and following Elijah's birth. Anytime I called she figured out a way to include him in her day, helping replace the family I don't have here. Brittney and her family will be heading north in just a few months.

Bobbie and her girls have done the same. Their family is actually preparing to pack up in just a few weeks. I have to be honest when I say that I am having trouble taking Scrubs over to the bay lately. I find myself tearing up every time I walk over there. I told Bobbie the other day that her family has been like a security blanket to me with these two babies in my home. I always know that if I am at the end of my rope with either the boys or Scrubs, I can call on them. If I need to run out for a moment, I can call on them. If I need anything, I can call on them.

Don't get me wrong, we have other wonderful friends here that I can depend on as well. Lots of them. But these are two families that have really blessed our lives during our time here at Eglin. I know the Lord has great plans for their families and I am excited to see where he takes them next, but Joan's departure initiated a little pity party this morning.

I wish there was a way I'd be okay living in South Florida again. I wish we could see my Dad and Mom every week. John's parents every week. But not only is there not a base there for us to go to, but we just could not return to that rat race. The pace of life, the over crowding, the expense of things, and the crime just equal up to a life we do not want to return to, despite the fact that all of our family is there.

I've got a lot planned the next few days and I'll be keeping busy. Which is good since I am feeling just a wee bit sad right now. It'll pass quickly I'm sure. I'm just missing family right now and knowing that it will be many years before we can see them more than every few months.

P.S. Joan took a lot of pics while she was here so stay tuned. I'll be posting blogs featuring her snaps quite often in the days to come.