Thursday, April 03, 2014

The truth

This short piece was actually a Facebook status from Katie. Katie was JB's classmate in Medical School. She is the mother of four boys who are as close in age as my children. She is also a working physician.
To the twenty-something-year-old student that asked me this afternoon how I manage to juggle it all. The truth is: I don't!

I am a really great mom and a pretty good doctor. I work hard to be a good wife. And beyond that, I am embracing mediocrity.

This is not a plea for compliments because I am proud of this arrangement. I finish my own homework assignments in the wee hours after I have prepared Green Eggs & Ham for dinner and played pirate ship with the boys in the bathtub. An impromptu chocolate cake family baking adventure takes precedence over reading peer-reviewed articles. Our lawn is not well-tended and our shelves haven't been dusted since the last time one of our moms visited. My car gets oil changes about 1000 miles after recommendation. Our laundry goes from dirty bins to washer to dryer to clean bins -- no folding ever -- and I don't even know if we own an iron. My masters thesis will get written between making PB&J and breast feeding and helping Kieran read Cat In The Hat.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

But if you, young, beautiful, impressionable girl in the masters program, want to know how to "juggle it all", please know that no one really does. You just choose which things matter less and let them fall. It's taken me a long time to realize this, but it has been such a valuable journey.
Katie, I absolutely agree with you. I have a saying. I like to say, "Something has to give." I truly believe that. You cannot do everything and do everything well. In my case, I have chosen to have a housekeeper. It's one way that I can not lose my mind completely. We cannot have it all. And that has to be okay. Well said ol' friend.


Kristin said...

I love this! I wish more moms would be this honest! I get post partum anxiety which gets worse after each child. Most of my anxiety comes from trying to "do it all". It's really hard for me to stop trying to "keep up with the Jones' mom". Facebook exacerbates it because we (or I) forget people only post their good, happy moments and I only see what I'm not doing. Sometimes we need to hear this kind of honesty! I needed this post today!

Katie said...

Very well said! Your children will remember all the fun, family things you did together, not how clean the house was or wasn't! Sounds like you are doing a great job!

Katie Myhre said...

Thanks, ladies - life is too short and moments too precious to cling to trying to "do it all"!