However, we are already really starting to notice some moving concerns, especially with Isaac. as he is incredibly verbal and really able to voice things. I have to wonder if Elijah is feeling the same way but just unable to put it into words.
Since we can only take one vehicle to Turkey, we have, obviously, chosen our mini-van. Earlier this week, our Saturn left us, moving onto new adventures with a new owner.
Isaac continues to ask us, repeatedly: "Where's Daddy's car?"
We've been borrowing Brandon & Brittny's car while Brandon has been out of town. When JB pulls up each day Isaac will say: "That's Bittny's car. Where's Daddy's car?"
We tried to explain to him that the Saturn was "all gone" and that it was in a new home. When he continued to ask us over and over again "Where's Daddy car?", JB finally turned the question on him. "Isaac, you tell us where Daddy's car is."
Isaac thought about it for a moment and then said: "Bittny took it."
We laughed pretty hard at that and started from the beginning again. That while the Saturn is gone, we are just borrowing "Bittny's" car and that she did not, whatsoever, steal our Saturn.
Isaac has also started taking to heart anything we say regarding moving. Common dialogue includes: "Isaac go on a plane soon? Go to Turkey. Go to new house. Play with new cars."
In our "Smooth Move" meeting they discussed that children can get quite stressed by a move. Add to that the fact that we are going to leave the only home our boys have known and the only people they have known, and both JB and I are getting pretty emotional about it.
I wonder if anyone has any experience with how you can prepare toddlers for a move like this. Is there really any way being as they are so young or do you just have to wing it? I know there are a lot of us moving right now so I am sure the advice could be helpful to more people than me.
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Here is a link to an article about preparing your children for a move. It is from healthychildren.org which is a parenting and health information website put out by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some of the tips are not as applicable to younger kids or to an international move, but still useful to think about.
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Helping-Children-Adjust-to-a-Move.aspx
Hope it helps a little.
: ) Lisa
A few other tips...
Moving With Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers
Kids younger than 6 may be the easiest to move, as they have a limited capacity to understand the changes involved. Still, your guidance is crucial.
Here are ways to ease the transition for young kids:
-Keep explanations clear and simple.
-Use a story to explain the move, or use toy trucks and furniture to act it out.
-When you pack your toddler's toys in boxes, make sure to explain that you aren't throwing them away.
-If your new home is nearby and vacant, go there to visit before the move and take a few toys over each time.
-Hold off on getting rid of your child's old bedroom furniture, which may provide a sense of comfort in the new house. It might even be a good idea to arrange furniture in a similar way in the new bedroom.
-Avoid making other big changes during the move, like toilet training or advancing a toddler to a bed from a crib.
-Arrange for your toddler or preschooler to stay with a babysitter on moving day.
I was older than your boys when my family made the big move from NC to South FL, but I remember a family friend bought a book called "Moving Day for Kelly" - I know the Bereinstein Bears have a book about moving and I'm sure there are otehrs - just something to give them some visuals. :)
Hey Wendi, This is a big off topic but I was wondering when you find out if you got the better housing?
We did a big military move when our kids were your boys age and we made a picture book that included snapshots that we had taken of our old base and then of our new military housing. We made sure to include pictures of things that they would see everyday and pictures of them talking on the phone to their grandparents, as we would not be seeing them as frequently. We also included a picture of our cat so they knew that we were bringing our cat along. We also took a picture of their room and used it as a model to set up the new room in our new townhouse.
We read the book every night and they took it on the plane with them during the move, I think it eased the transition as the house seemed somewhat familiar.
Perhaps you can down load some pictures from the internet and do your own book and be sure to include Scrubs!
Wen, you should email my kids -i bet you'd find out from E & C what NOT to do...and from hannah -i just imagine her mom knew what to do since she lived in 3 countries and loved it all! One bad memory i have is that i had a garage sale while the kids were in school (2nd grade and K) and added up in my mind that we wouldn't be home for four years so Cara would be in 6th grade and not need all her dolls and stuffed animals and sold them all with out thinking to tell or ask her! I still have nitemares about her missing her cabbage patch doll and the look on her face! I am imagining Isaac, with his love for cars, knows how many little cars HE has too! :) Seriously at your kids' age tho -YOU are home to them more than the place...Each child, as they grow older is different as you are already seeing...I don't think our moves affected Eddie like Cara -she was so sensitive and tender towards friends and more sentimental about things and place (than I knew :(...But the good thing is that now that she lives here she is so tender and sentimenatal about her childhood overseas that she is, with such joy, teaching English to immigrants in our country, enjoying their foods, culture, encouraging them in their move here! Tante Jan
PS i'm sure you know, but it's okay for your kids to see you cry a bit (maybe not ALL of it!) when you say goodbye to those you love! tante Jan
I have never moved overseas. But we have moved twice with our boys to new states.
My suggestions.
Call it "Our new house in Turkey". They don't understand this so-called place named Turkey. And to even make it harder, Turkey is a bird and something we eat. So adding the "our new house" or "our new home", those are words they understand - what a house or home is. Also, add the word "Turkey" to it, so when you are in conversation with others about Turkey, they know what you are referring to. As well as they can at that age.
Don't give away any of their toys in their sight, unless it's in bags and they can't see it. It will only add to the stress for them and you of trying to explain why they don't need it or play with it. Now, with mine being a little older I can explain it better. With your's ages, I would suggest the easiest is to put it in the garage while they are sleeping and give it away from there.
Use pictures online to help them through the story. Even print them and put them on the fridge. "Here is what the airplane looks like that we will fly on to go to our new house in Turkey", "here is what it looks like in Turkey", "Mommy, Daddy, Scrubs and Bubby will be ALL going together", "all our toys, couches, car, and everything in out house will go in the mail to see us in Turkey."
I understand your hesitation to show them a picture of the housing, but maybe the base. Also some surrounding pictures of items. Such as a park, swing, ice cream place, zoo. Those are familiar places now to them, and to show them that it's there too and they can go to those places will help.
When you box up toys or their items, give them crayons to write on the box once it's closed. Tell them you are decorating their boxes so when they get to Turkey, they know to deliver it to Isaac and Elijah.
Have them say "see you soon" or "see you later" to the items as they get packed up and moved. Rather than "Bye-bye".
Start preparing them the day before about the new thing happening the next day. Such as "tomorrow some helpers are going to put our boxes and house stuff on a truck so they can mail it to our new house in Turkey." That way they don't freak out in the midst of this happening and you are pulled into 15 different directions. Not saying that you still don't have to tend to them, or remind them through out the entire time they are loading your stuff up to explain what they are doing. But having that initial conversation when they are more calm before the chaos happens can help.
I know you will do this, but I'll say it anyway - bring a few familiar items on their flights such as stuffed animals, fave toy, and some familiar dvds and music.
They will be more clingy to YOU while changes are happening. Even people in their lives that they LOVE might not be able to pacify them at a certain time. It can be frustrating when you feel like you have SOOO much to do, and you are the ONLY one that can do it, but you have little ones on your hips. Step out of your head a second, take a breath, regroup, calm down. Take them aside and sit with them a couple minutes. Sing a song. Then gently after that say "can you do show {insert friend's name} your car for Mommy?" and try to distract them to go see your friend that is all to ready to help you.
few! Sorry this is so long!
I can't imagine moving so far away and having to plan everything out. I'm sorry it's such a headache! I know you can do it and get through it :) (then you can write a manual for anyone moving from the US to Turkey and have it published :D)
Keeping you guys in my prayers!!!
As a Navy "brat" I moved nine times in 18 years. Never overseas though (however as an elementary and middle schooler I desperately hoped my dad would be assigned internationally so we could see other parts of the world.) I loved each new adventure, my younger sister was much more sensitive than I was though. Some things my parents did to help us with each move:
--We had a going away party with all of our friends about a week before leaving (even as very young children).
--Lots of pictures were taken so that we had albums of previous homes to help solidify early memories.
--Our rooms were the first things set up at each home we moved to.
--A "moving package" was created bt our parents and grandparents as well as close friends so we could find new toys, letters and pictures during the move and immediately upon arrival at our new home.
--My parents found playgrounds, children's museums and aquariums relatively quickly and took us on lots of day trips to some of the local attractions once we moved before my dad had to report to duty.
--Probably not applicable to your young boys but my parents always arranged a tour and meet and greet at any new school or daycare before the year started. They also took us to the schools to play on the playgrounds during the summer. (Not applicable when I hit high school age)
--I kept pen pals with friends and relatives left behind, my parents helped me "write" the letters and I drew pictures before I learned to write for real....maybe not applicable now with Skype and email but I loved getting mail in the mail box.
--TRY not to worry, I know easier said than done! I cried sometimes when we left our old home but what I gained is so much more important than a few tears. I learned my home is always wherever my family is. At 34 that means wherever my 4 kids and husband are is my home, as long as we are together I feel whole. This is a gift given to children of the military, the ability to adapt and form strong ties to those who care for them and for whom they care.
--One drawback of being a child of the military and marrying someone who lived in one place all his life, even though we decided long ago to make our home in one place and have lived here for 16 years ( my children live within 15 miles of the hospitals they were born in) I get the moving "itch every 3 years like clockwork, it usually resolves with a long vacation to somewhere new but has also resulted in changing residences 3 times :)
--Sorry this is so long, I can't wait to hear about your adventures in Turkey, I'm sure the boys will make wonderful friends and God will provide you with all the surprise helpers you need!
As you may have realized, we just made a move with Addison. Eglin was the only home she knew also. (Which was probably the hardest part on me!) We only moved to Louisiana but as far as she knows at her age it could be Turkey (well minus the airplane ride). We stayed at six different places within a month. Finally getting into our new house was probably the final straw for her. She got to be real clingy but it didn't last long--maybe a week. She has asked to go see her friends back at Eglin. I quickly explain we can't and why, then change the subject.
She was not there when the movers came and I was hesitant to let her back into the empty house, but she was fine and we didn't stay long. She doesn't have the verbal abilities of Isaac, but I would think he could understand better since his vocabulary is larger. Finding the right words may be difficult for you.
We got the keys to our house the day before our movers came. We gave her a choice of two rooms and let her pick. (I actually like her choice better than the one I was planning on!) She was at daycare when the movers unloaded our stuff. Her room was the only room we set up before picking her up. We didn't set it up the same as at Eglin, but I think she likes it better! All her toys are in her room now since we don't have a space for them like before. Her little face was priceless when she walked into her room and got to see all her toys again!!
I think someone mentioned it already, but I definitely wouldn't move them from their cribs to big boy beds during the move. It may be too much change all at once!
I think it will be easier on them than you. All the moves to come will be way more difficult than this one, in my opinion!
Good luck! I hope we have the opportunity to live overseas at some point!
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