Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Beds

So here's some truths.

JB and I do not share a blanket when we go to sleep at night. We don't share a sheet. We do share a bed. But that's about it. We tried sharing a blanket. We tried sharing a sheet. Neither of them worked. Now, each of us have our own blanket.

JB has permanently labeled me a human window shade. Early in our marriage he would find me sleeping so close to him, rolled up so tightly in the sheet and blanket we were sharing, that he'd just give up, walk to the other side of the bed and occupy that side with a blanket from the linen closet. That's the honest truth.

Here's another truth.

We don't make our bed. Like ever. Well, if someone is visiting and hasn't seen our house before and I am going to show them around, then maybe I'll make the bed. I'll fold up our separate blankets, put them in the closet, and take out the real sheet and real bedspread that normal people would share and sleep with and make my bed. If you are a veteran visitor, I won't make the bed. If you are a newbie, maybe you'll get to see our normally stored-in-the-closet bedding.

It wasn't always this way. Once upon a time, we used to make our bed everyday. Then JB started adding things up. He added up how many minutes a day he spent taking decorative pillows off the bed. He added up how many minutes he spent putting decorative pillows back on the bed. He decided that this was way too many minutes of his life. Three minutes a day times 365 days a year times 50 years! That's like twelve books he could have read. What a waste!

He sat me down and told me he was refusing to ever help make or unmake the bed again. If I wanted to continue the practice, I could. But he would play no part in it. It made no sense, he explained, to make a bed that no one would see made only to unmake it again to get back into it a half day later.

Another truth. When we go to hotels, we get two double beds. This is JB's choice and is honestly one of his favorite things about going to a hotel. He doesn't have to deal with me kicking him, or rolling too close to him. He doesn't think I am a good bed sharer so when we can avoid it, we do. That's the truth of it. We just booked our hotel for Ajit's wedding in May. Two double beds!

Speaking of beds, JB told me that sometimes on submarines, men share beds. One person occupies it for eight hours. Then another moves in for occupation. This grossed me out until JB told me that they come and change the sheets in between. Okay. I'm okay with that if the sheets are changed. If they weren't, how gross would that be?

I'm not exactly sure at which point during my day that my head got into thinking about bedding. I think it had to do with the fact that JB is on nights. This means that I occupy the bed for eight hours and then he occupies the bed for eight hours. I actually like JB's side of the bed better so when he is gone, I go ahead and sleep on his side. We are both able to sleep on the same side of the bed because we aren't using the bed at the same time.

Pretty cool, huh?

All right, so there's my honesty for the day. I'm sure some of you out there have some pretty interesting confessions.Is there anyone else who would fess up to never making their bed? Is there anyone else who celebrates two double beds when they go to a hotel? Probably not.

Oh and speaking of beds, now that I have kids, I've been wondering. Am I going to make them make their bed while mine is unmade? How unfair would that be? And yet, they have to learn to make their bed don't they? Or do they?

Hmmm . . .

29 comments:

Carrie said...

I hold the same belief that bed-making really is a waste of time... especially if no one's going to see it. Since my husband works nights, when I do make the bed, it's usually only made for a few hours before he goes to sleep anyway - so what's the point?

I secretly enjoy that he works nights though because he too is a cuddler/blanket stealer... and he snores - really loudly! I sleep much better when he's not there. Sadly, this means when he happens to be home, I usually kick him out of the room to sleep in the guestroom or on the couch. Luckily, he doesn't mind :)

Re: Kids making beds.
They definitely need to know how to do it, but this could be accomplished by teaching them how to make the bed when you put clean sheets on it. I'm under the belief that a kids room is *their* private space... as long as they don't destroy the walls/carpet, they should be able to keep it as clean/messy as they see fit. (To an extent of course - no dirty dishes allowed to grow mold and I'll gladly do the laundry... but only if it's in the hamper, not stuffed under the bed.)

Anonymous said...

YAY for seperate blankets!!!! YAY for not making the bed!!!
I have been married for almost 8 years and in all 8 of those years I think I've managed to make our bed about 6 times a year (usually for company coming over). We have had seperate blankets since the day we were married.. I have issues with sleeping, and because I am such a light sleeper the slightest tug on my blankets will wake me up and keep me awake for at least an hour and don't even get me started on what happens if he accidently touches my pillows... oh for me the pillows is a BIG one.

I am ALL for the seperate beds in the hotel rooms... except now that we have kiddos I usually end up with our daughter and DH ends up with our son. Which is better than cramming into a full size bed with DH and letting the kiddos share. I figure I get more room that way.

As for the kids making their beds.. mine are still too little, but I think they will likly be required to make their beds every day once they turn about 8 years old... Our kids are NOT allowed in our room during the day (and only allowed in there at night if they have a bad dream) so they don't even know that we don't make our bed.

YAY for being a rebel!! You go non bed making, non blanket sharer!!

Krystal said...

I know you don't know me, but I so loved this post! I'm a bed hog, but my hubby never complains...bless his heart! I don't make my bed most days. But I like too, but with 3 kids it just doesn't happen all the time.

Thanks for making me laugh! That was great!

Becky said...

Too funny, I like John's side of the bed better also. When he was in Peru, I slept on his side of the bed the whole time. Occasionally, John has agreed to switch sides with me, but then I end up wanting that side back because somehow whatever side of the bed he has seems better to me.

Tara said...

Bed-making is a TOTAL waste of time! I only make it when I am a guest in someone's house :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, bed-making is a waste of time.
I must confess that we don't even HAVE a bed yet, after 2 years of marriage! Just a matress, on the floor. We haven't found a nice bed yet.
We don't have any decorative pillows and will never have them either. We just have a sheet and a blanket, that's it. In case of no visitors: no way that we will make the bed. In case of possible visitors: maybe we will try to cover the matrass nicely with the sheet and blanket.
Thanks for the nice post.

Tanya said...

You're certainly not alone. It's actually very common in Europe to have two separate quilts on a double bed so there is no fighting over blankets in the middle of the night.

Anonymous said...

Dad and I have two twin mattresses on a homemade frame. That way, I can have my soft mattress and he has his hard one:) We always have a king size bottom sheet but use king size or twin top sheets. I have extra quilts around in case the blanket gets pulled to far one way or the other! (They make extra long twin mattresses, otherwise they are not equal in length to a king size)
As far as making the bed-I care, so I have to do it but it's kind of funny because the rest of the room is usually not "made":)and I like my extra pillows that get thrown all over the place every night:)
what an unusual post-leave it to Wendi:)
love, mom k

Anonymous said...

LOVE this post!!!! My hubby and I have had separate "blankies" since the day we married..and that was a LONG time ago!! We also get TWO beds whenever we travel and we sleep so much better!

Once I read how much time one spends on making a bed, well, I dont want to make it anymore, just wanta stack up all the books I havnt read and go at it!! :)Thanks for an awesome post!! I LOVE the way you write Wendi, you are one very talented lady :)

Debbie said...

I Have to make the bed every morning, or it would bug the life out of me! :) But I am a compulsive organized freak and anything not neat bugs me. Plus, we have two cats and if we left the bed unmade they would lay on that part and get their hair all over. Yuck, gross! So, I'll stand for the traditional "bed-makers." :)

Mermaid said...

I also refuse to make the bed unless company is coming and they might see into our room. What a waste. Also, my hubby and I have separate sheets/blankets. I kick too much and could never keep anything tucked in. Plus, we're always different temperatures. I actually sleep much better when he's not there, although I miss him when he works nights.

Anonymous said...

Well i'm with your mom in law on this one -I like my extra pillows that get thrown all over the place every night:) (tho they're not decorative -i just have about 10 pillows on our bed for reading!). Some people can't work around clutter -Uncle Ed works better in order (no closing the bedroom door doesn't work -) so one of my goals this year has been to love him enuf to make our bed (which i never make) at least 5 times a week! ;0....nope I celebrate a nice king size bed in a hotel not doubles -besides in case we roall away -i have to find him in the middle of the night and reach for him or it's too lonely...I think i'm pretty alone out there except you have one bed maker -i better only read her comments or i'll never stick with this goal!! xo

Anonymous said...

of course part of it is Uncle Ed works from home!

Anonymous said...

I try to make my bed but more often than not just can't be bothered. But I guess I lucked out in the fact that my guy makes the bed in the morning. Although it is very obvious that a man made it, at least it's made and he put in the effort :) I have to second the above comment in that it gets far too lonely to have separate beds. My vote would also be for the king sized bed at a hotel. Or even a queen as we currently have a full. I LOVED your post though. It definitely made my day

Anonymous said...

I love crawling into a 'made' bed each evening. I LOVE clean sheets and have decided someday I will have househelp that changes my linens daily!! I'm lucky that I have a hubby that will make the bed just cause he knows it means a lot to me! Lady Di
(I CAN go to sleep even if the bed isn't made but I prefer it to be made!)

kjames106 said...

My husband wants a bed that is the size of a whole room and that's all that is in there. Or he wants to get two double beds in our room. I'm like NO WAY, MAN! I wanna snuggle. BUt he thinks I'm the "human heater" and make him sweat profusely. hehehe! Oh well, someday we will get a very large custom bed made!

Kendra said...

I am totally with JB on this one it can be a waste of time. I was talking with one of my coworkers this morning about how I don't ever make the bed this morning how crazy that I click on your site and you are randomly blogging. (I once read an article about how making the bed traps in the dust mites and is unsanitary btw.) Now my bedroom is usually the messiest area of my life and since it is only mine I can tend to justify that but even when my room is totally clean and everything put away my bed is the last thing I do. When I was growing up I never had to make my bed except when I changed the sheets (which is pretty much the only time it gets made now). My take on it GREAT BLOG... here's to randomness! Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Leaving a bed unmade is how the dust mites get in to begin with! All kinds of stuff gets in there when you don't make the bed.. eww!

Anonymous said...

If I had my way, I wouldn't make the bed... or I would just pull up the bed clothes so it didn't look as messy. But, my husband believes that the bed MUST BE MADE every day - it's just wrong not to make the bed! Lucky for me, he is usually the one in the position to make the bed since he works 3rd shift, so it doesn't bother me that much. I get the benefit without the work (most of the time)... but he does scowl at me if I don't make the bed when it's my turn! I wonder if I could sit him down and convince him that NOT making the bed would ever be ok... probably not. Maybe JB could try to convince him?!? =)

nicole said...

I am VERY anti-bed-making unless I have guests. Unfortunately Bay acts like he can't breathe if the bed isn't made (okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the point). So, when he's not around, the bed stays unmade. When we're together I suck it up and begrudgingly make the bed. I'm not sure how long that'll last, but since we're newlyweds, I'm trying to be nice :-)
And he is a TOTAL sheet/blanket hoarder and I'm a light sleeper - the WORST combination. Essentially I am torn from my sleep whenever I find the covers snatched from my previously warm skin. PLUS he's the epitome of a "human heater", so whatever part of my body is touching him is DRENCHED by the middle of the night! My solution to the above litany of complaints? Well, we both really LOVE to cuddle - so I guess I don't have a solution...

Beth said...

I'm a total non-bed-maker and have been since I was young. It drove my mother crazy, but she had to appreciate my logical explanation. It's nice to know that somebody else shares the same opinion...in fact several, based on the comments. My husband and I are total cuddlers and currently have a full size bed, but I LOVE getting a king in a hotel - way more room to sprawl. That said, we're both short. If we added a foot of height to each of us the story might be different.

One strange thing about us (and I've NEVER met any couple who is the same way) is that we don't have our own sides of the bed. We constantly swap. Sometimes we go through streaks of a couple weeks sleeping on our "own" sides...but it never sticks. Is that really weird?

Also, Wendi, thanks for supporting Team Orme!!

The Woodford's said...

I admit both Tim and I are "bed-makers". Neither of us feel like we can go on with our day unless it's made. It doesn't, however, take 3 minutes to make. Approx. 1 minute to pull up the sheet & comforter and put on the 2 extra pillows.

I had never even thought of having separate sheets before, and if I had earlier in our marriage I would have considered it (I am -more WAS - a light sleeper)! With 3.8 kids now, I sleep sounder than I used to! =)

Funny post - I love random things like this!

Anonymous said...

Hey Wendi,

Me and Chris use separate blankets to! I thought we where really weird but i guess not, i like my sleep time to be perfect so its really the easiest thing to do instead of having to wake the other person up to get the blanket back. I don't even remember the last time i made a bed.

On the subject of the boys its my thinking that teaching them to do it is a really good idea and let them keep it the way that they want as long its within reason, but don't make them make their beds, but if company is coming and going to have a tour of the house, the house should look the same in every room, (beds made and all)

-Bri

Jessica said...

I didn't make the bed for the first year of our marriage, but once I had my first child and was at home all day every day, I started making the bed and on those first days and weeks that that was all I accomplished, it was nice to see that I had done SOMETHING besides nursing the baby and changing diapers. I have stuck with making the bed for 4 years and it drives me nuts that as I type this it is 10 AM and I have yet to make the bed! lol! I love that the house can be strewn with toys (ALL DAY LONG!) and I can go in my room knowing it will look nice. I have a 4-year-old and have yet to make him make his bed. He does not use a top sheet, only a blanket and I think I will start making him take responsibility soon, but I honestly don't feel like following up on all the days he inevitably will forget or choose not to make it. :) Randomness. I love it!

Monkey Momma said...

My hubs thinks I'm a bed hog. All 110 lbs of me. Ha. But I wouldn't be such a bed hog, if my husband weren't such a blanket hog. I really am just trying to snuggle with him because I'm FREEZING! LOL!

I'm a bed maker. Just makes my morning feel productive. And if my bedroom is a disaster it doesn't look so bad if at least my bed is made.

Judy Woodford said...

OK Wendi, I've been debating as to whether or not to put my 2 cents down here on the bed issue.

Joia can tell you that I am a dyed-in-the-wool Bed Maker and desperately tried to get my kids to learn to do it everyday when they were still home and we home schooled. I think my obsession probably originates with 11 years of boarding school (grades 3,4,8-12 and 4 years of college) where we had to have room inspection every day and the beds, of course, had to a be made. My bedroom isn't always neat but I always think (and told my kids) that if the bed is made it doesn't look nearly as bad. I really like to get into a bed that is neat and has everything in place at night. Almost 34 years and we have never had separate blankets, it never occurred to me, but I do have to pull it back once in awhile. = ) So there you are, a bed maker to help balance us all out. (Oh the fact that our bedroom is just off the living room should be factored in.) = ) Thanks for listening...

Judy W. again said...

PS...OK, I need to qualify an inaccuracy, I don't think our rooms were inspected on weekends (at least in college) OK, got that fixed...

Blackman Blog said...

I LOVE a bed made up nice and neat. My hubby could care less. The bed made up nice and neat just makes the entire room neater...even if it really isn't so neat. Your boys MUST know! :)
I could only think of Kendra as I read this one. Funny to read her comment. But how about that comment that stuff gets IN your bed b/c it is unmade. I only have TWO decortive pillows and 3 other pillows. So bed making is pretty easy for me! Ryan says I am a bed hog but really he hates sleeping alone...business trips kill him. Neither of us sleep well w/o the other one. And we once had a king sized bed in a hotel. He just knew he would love it. He didn't. I cracked up the first night b/c he asked "are you over there?" He told me every night on that 2 week trip that he felt like he had lost me. Made him appreciate our "perfect" queen bed!I enjoyed the post.

Joy Z said...

I loved this post the other day (I literally lauged out loud!) and I didn't comment due to lack of time, but tonight when I read your post, I thought I must chime in too.

I myself am pro-bed-making. I love the feeling of getting into a freshly made bed, with the sheets pulled tight and the blankets in order. Plus, I think that even if a room is messy, it looks sooooo much neater if you just make the bed. That is always the first thing I do when I clean up my room or any of the childrens rooms. Right now in my life, my entire house is pretty much a mess for all but about two hours each day, so the one thing I insist on for EVERYONE is made beds. It's the one thing that won't get messy throughout the day. Unless, of course, they decide to make a fort...

As far as separate blankets, Vic would prefer that, but our solution is that we have a King size comforter on our Queen bed.

At a hotel, we would always request a King, but if we couldn't get one and ended up with two doubles instead, we would definately sleep separately. Neither of us can sleep well together in a double bed.

And lastly, I must say that I completely support anyone else's decision to be a non-bed-maker!

What a fun post Wendi!