So here's some truths.
JB and I do not share a blanket when we go to sleep at night. We don't share a sheet. We do share a bed. But that's about it. We tried sharing a blanket. We tried sharing a sheet. Neither of them worked. Now, each of us have our own blanket.
JB has permanently labeled me a human window shade. Early in our marriage he would find me sleeping so close to him, rolled up so tightly in the sheet and blanket we were sharing, that he'd just give up, walk to the other side of the bed and occupy that side with a blanket from the linen closet. That's the honest truth.
Here's another truth.
We don't make our bed. Like ever. Well, if someone is visiting and hasn't seen our house before and I am going to show them around, then maybe I'll make the bed. I'll fold up our separate blankets, put them in the closet, and take out the real sheet and real bedspread that normal people would share and sleep with and make my bed. If you are a veteran visitor, I won't make the bed. If you are a newbie, maybe you'll get to see our normally stored-in-the-closet bedding.
It wasn't always this way. Once upon a time, we used to make our bed everyday. Then JB started adding things up. He added up how many minutes a day he spent taking decorative pillows off the bed. He added up how many minutes he spent putting decorative pillows back on the bed. He decided that this was way too many minutes of his life. Three minutes a day times 365 days a year times 50 years! That's like twelve books he could have read. What a waste!
He sat me down and told me he was refusing to ever help make or unmake the bed again. If I wanted to continue the practice, I could. But he would play no part in it. It made no sense, he explained, to make a bed that no one would see made only to unmake it again to get back into it a half day later.
Another truth. When we go to hotels, we get two double beds. This is JB's choice and is honestly one of his favorite things about going to a hotel. He doesn't have to deal with me kicking him, or rolling too close to him. He doesn't think I am a good bed sharer so when we can avoid it, we do. That's the truth of it. We just booked our hotel for Ajit's wedding in May. Two double beds!
Speaking of beds, JB told me that sometimes on submarines, men share beds. One person occupies it for eight hours. Then another moves in for occupation. This grossed me out until JB told me that they come and change the sheets in between. Okay. I'm okay with that if the sheets are changed. If they weren't, how gross would that be?
I'm not exactly sure at which point during my day that my head got into thinking about bedding. I think it had to do with the fact that JB is on nights. This means that I occupy the bed for eight hours and then he occupies the bed for eight hours. I actually like JB's side of the bed better so when he is gone, I go ahead and sleep on his side. We are both able to sleep on the same side of the bed because we aren't using the bed at the same time.
Pretty cool, huh?
All right, so there's my honesty for the day. I'm sure some of you out there have some pretty interesting confessions.Is there anyone else who would fess up to never making their bed? Is there anyone else who celebrates two double beds when they go to a hotel? Probably not.
Oh and speaking of beds, now that I have kids, I've been wondering. Am I going to make them make their bed while mine is unmade? How unfair would that be? And yet, they have to learn to make their bed don't they? Or do they?
Hmmm . . .