Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Patton Oswalt Explains How Pop Culture Gets Grieving All Wrong

Love this post from a comedian who lost his wife. Here's was a quote I especially bonded with:

One thing that I've learned since what happened to me happened is: You don't know the kind of pain and loss other people may have gone through — even close friends and acquaintances. ... In really awful science fiction terms it is like putting on the sunglasses in They Live and then seeing the world for what it really is. Do you know what I mean? Obviously I knew there was loss and death and depression, but you can only sympathize so far until it directly happens to you.

And the truth? You can't expect people to "get it" if they haven't done it. THEY CAN'T. Find your "people" and accept that some awesome people in your life won't be "the people" who stand alongside you on this part of your life journey. They might want to. They might try. But they just can't. Because they don't get it.

THIS is why I am so adamant about standing alongside other people dealing with infertility or PPD or depression or being very sick during pregnancy. I HAVE BEEN THERE! I can be "your people." Use me! :)

1 comment:

Kelli said...

Patton says, "At least in 2016 I had three months and 21 days of Michelle being in there. And now this is a year where there is no Michelle — and, like, that's it. So when January first dawned it felt like a cell door slamming behind me like: You are now in this awful world where you don't even have a memory of her being a part of this year. ..."

Oh my... He took the words right out of my mouth. I've suffered two miscarriages and the more time goes by, the farther away I am from the time I had with them. Grief is funny. At first I just wanted the pain to go away and be as far away as possible from it, and now, I just want to go back to be closer to them.