The Easy Way and the Hard Way

I read the following passage in my devotional time this morning from one of Joyce Meyer's books: Battlefield of the Mind. I thought it would be an encouragement to others. Many of us are going through some sort of trial. They aren't the same trial. Our journeys may be different but the trial is still the same. Hopefully this encourages you this morning that the journey is making us stronger and we must keep pressing on.

When Pharoh let the people go, God led them not by the way of the land of the Philistines, although that was nearer; for God said, Lest the people change their purpose when they see war and return to Egypt. Exodus 13:17

You can be sure that anywhere God leads you, He is able to keep you. He never allows more to come on us that we can bear (I Cor. 10:13). Whatever He orders, He pays for. We do not have to live in a constant struggle if we learn to lean on Him continually for the strength we need.

If you know God has asked you to do something, don't back down just because it gets hard. When things get hard, spend more time with Him, lean more on Him and receive more grace from Him. (Heb 4:16)

Grace is the power of God coming to you at no cost to you, to do through you what you cannot do by yourself. Beware of thoughts that say, "I can't do this; it's just too hard."

Sometimes God leads us the hard way instead of the easy way, because He is doing a work in us. How will we ever learn to lean on Him, if everything in our lives is so easy that we can handle it by ourselves?

God led the Children of Israel the long, hard way because they were still cowards, and He had to do a work in them to prepare them for the battles thye would face in the Promised Land.

Most people think that entering the Promised Land means no more battles, but that is incorrect. If you read the accounts of what took place after Israelites crossed the Jordan River and went in to possess the land of promise, you will see that they fought one battle after another. But they won all those battles fought in God's strength and under His direction.

God led them the longer, harder route even though there was a shorter, easier one because He knew they were not ready for the battles they would face in possessing the land. He was concerned that when they saw the enemy, they might run back to Egypt, so He took them the harder way to teach them Who He was and that they could not depend on themselves.

When a person is going through a hard time, his mind wants to give up. Satan knows that if he can defeat us in our mind, he can defeat us in our experience. That's why it is so important that we not lose heart, grow weary and faint.

6pm vs. 8pm

So I have decided. If JB can get home by 6pm, then I can survive this whole residency thing.

After nearly 7 weeks of extremely long days and tons of call nights, this entire week JB is supposed to be home by 6pm. It is amazing to me how much different the world looks when John rolls in at 6:00 vs. rolling in at 8:00. We can eat together, do some necessary things around the house, and sit down on the sofa together and relax. Last night we were even able to have Matt and Tiffany and little William over for dinner. However, when you get home at 8pm and have to leave at 5am, there isn't much time for anything. You eat a quick dinner and by then, John is ready for bed since there are only 8 hours before he has to leave again. Those two hours are glorious! John is on his way home right now, and I am so excited to have some time together this evening.

My days are pretty consistent and pretty busy. I have been trying to get up with JB at 5am. Somedays I am better at this then other days. Yesterday I meant to get up but fell back to sleep. I was woken up about 15 minutes later by pounding on the bedroom window. Apparently JB had gone to take the dog out in boxers and t-shirt and gotten himself locked out. The air conditioning drowns out the doorbell so he was left to wade around to our bedroom and wake me up that way.

I try to do my devotions between 5 and 6 and then I usually try to start working about 6am. At 7:30am I take a break and go on a 3 mile walk with Tiffany and Joia. I then continue working off and on throughout the day while taking the dog out for periodic breaks and short walks around the block. I then work until JB gets home and then do some sort of exercise with Scrubs in the evening -- either a long walk or a trip to the bay where there is lots of grass for Scrubs to run and play and wear himself out. If you watched the broccoli video I posted yesterday you can see how much energy that pup has.

I am enjoying working from home. It is very different not being around people all day, but I have instant messenger, email, and the phone to keep me busy not to mention weekly visits with the other wives and long talks with Scrubs. He and I have some great conversations. I remember my Grama telling me that when my dad was a little boy he would lay on the kitchen floor and tell their dog all his problems. I think her name was Mitsy? My dad swears that dog is in heaven waiting for him. Anyways, I am so busy that I do not have time to be lonely during the day. I also do not have time to be bored. I miss JB and miss some of the work interactions I had in Minnesota, but overall, I am very happy and blessed with this arrangement.

Anyways, JB should be home any minute. How nice is that!?

Scrubs vs. Broccoli

Video of my puppy

For some frustrating reason, I cannot get this dumb video to load on youtube. So, instead, here it is via link:

http://download.yousendit.com/5BA310977A388C31

It's a new video of Scrubs. So, if you are sick of dog videos and pictures, you can skip viewing it. However, if you'd like to see it, you'll just have to download it yourself. It will only be available for the next 7 days so don't wait too long! Get 'em while they're hot!

Yesterday JB came home around 5:45pm. Actually, Scrubs and I went to pick him up as I had the car. Scrubs is enjoying riding in the car and loves to see John. I cannot tell you how much better our evening was with John coming home at 6:00 instead of 8:00. I was sort of like, "Man! What do we do with all this time together!?" I even took Scrubs for a walk myself while John was home working on his autobiography for our adoption -- something I don't usually do because I don't want to sacrifice any time together. We ended up playing basketball with the Nipper boys (all four of them) around the block. Scrubs really loved playing basketball. He would chase the balls wherever they rolled and guard them until one of the boys could retrieve them. He also attempted to walk home with a complete stranger. I think he smelled the guy's dog! Geeesh. I guess my wish for a friendly dog has come true.

On a more sad note, we are becoming very doubtful that we are going to get to spend Christmas with our families in Fort Lauderdale. It just doesn't look like JB can get the schedule to work out for it. We'll see what ends up happening, but it may be me, JB and our pup on Christmas morning -- a first for us!

Ryan Hartley

The funeral for Kristi's brother was today. PLEASE keep this family in your prayers. My heart is so heavy with this ... I don't want to put the family's address on the blog, but if you would like it, please send me an email, and I will send it to you. Also, there is a scholarship fund for Ryan's young son for those of you who would like to do something.

Patrick Ryan Harltey

Patrick Ryan Harltey, of Roy, New Mexico died Wednesday, Aug. 15th in a small plane crash near Mosquero, New Mexico. Thirty-two year old Ryan Harltey was born in Raton, New Mexico on Nov. 9, 1974.

Ryan was a loving husband, father, son, and brother. He devoted his life to his entire family. His heart and soul thrived on the family's ranch near Roy. Ryan's dedication to his family, his work, his friends and his way of life were surpassed by none. He was a cowboy through and through and a consummate construction worker starting at a very early age. He was fun loving and hardworking. Ryan will be deeply missed by all who knew him.

He is preceded in death by his grandparents, Enrico and Gemma (Noni) Volpato, and his grandfather Patrick Hartley. He is survived by his wife of ten years, Melissa and his son, Pacen, his parents, Ray and Doris Hartley, and his grandmother, Ruth Hartley, all of the family's ranch near Roy.

He is also survived by his four sisters and their families, Kristi Hunt (Lee) of El Dorado, Lenni Trujillo (Tanner) of Abiquiu, Tandra Fudge (Chris) of Roswell, and Amy Hartley of Lubbock. He had one niece, Logan and two nephews, Raylee Hunt and Jackson Ryan Fudge. He is also survived by countless other relatives and friends. His wife is granddaughter of Jack and AnnaBí Lane, of Muleshoe.

Services for Patrick Ryan Hartley will be held on the family ranch on Maddox Rd. on the ranchís top country near Roy on Monday, Aug. 20 at 10 a.m. Interment will be on the family ranch immediately following. In lieu of flowers, a scholarship memorial fund for his son, Pacen Hartley has been set up in his name at First National Bank of New Mexico in Clayton or any of its branches. You may contact the bank at (505) 374-8317, Post Office Box 548, 201 Main St. Clayton, NM 88415-0548.

Funeral arrangements are under the direction of the Yaksich Long Funeral Home of Raton, New Mexico.

Not bitter ... not broken

Today JB and I had our physicals for the adoption. The appointment was with another fellow resident who was extremely sweet. She has an adopted sister from Taiwan and couldn't help but say repeatedly how honored she was to take part in this process. John was seeing other patients, however, he stopped in for a few minutes and will get some of his other tests done later. We also went in early this morning for blood work and a urine sample. The good news is that it looks like we are healthy enough to be parents!

During the course of my appointment this afternoon, I found myself getting pretty emotional. In fact, during the drive on the way home, I burst out into tears. I am not exactly sure where those tears came from. I think part of the emotions is the fact that, as most of you know I don't ovulate. And if I do ovulate it usually 1-2 times a year. Well I did ovulate last month, I knew I was ovulating, and yet again, we are not pregnant. Now I know that this is likely. Even if I do successfully ovulate, we have a secondary "speed bump" in that there is some sort of sperm binding issue working against us. I know that. I also know that a pregnancy would completely halt our adoption in its tracks. And yet, it is difficult not to get hopeful.

The other thing that got to me was just being in a doctor's office in general. I kept thinking that the last time I was in a doctor's office, I was doing my fourth round of IVF. As this physician spoke with me and she asked me about my infertility history, she seemed flabbergasted as I listed the procedures: 2 rounds of clomid, 5 rounds of artificial insemination, 2 harvests for IVF, 4 IVF transfers ... Did we really do all that? I told her we still had 7 embryos to go back for and as I said it I thought, "How can I do that again?" I don't want to do that again. Will I ever, emotionally, be able to handle the process of IVF again nevertheless a minimum of two times more? More shots, more pills, more appointments. Of course my ever rationale husband would tell me, "Now Wendi, that is many years away. Is there any point in worrying now about that?" No dear JB. There isn't.

I realized that during the last four years, I was going to the doctor at least five times a month for infertility related issues. This is my best estimate. Some months were more. Some months were less. Some months I went five times in a week! Anyways, with that modest estimate, that equals 60 times a year. Multiply that by four years and you have 240 appointments. Now think about the fact that most of these required needles and exams most people don't enjoy and discussions of an extremely personal part of our lives, and, you know, I just can't believe I actually made it through that. Nor can I imagine going through it again.

The subject of "bitterness" has come up in recent weeks in numerous conversations I have had regarding infertility and grief. Even today, bitterness is my constant enemy. I am very careful not to allow myself to make calloused comments or hateful statements. Phrases like, "I'll never get pregnant. What am I doing wrong? Why can't it be my turn? That's so unfair etc. etc." These phrases just have to be eliminated from my vocabularly. John helps me in this. Early on in my infertility journey I had an image of myself at my own funeral. I realized that the eulogy could go two ways. Either everyone would say, "You know, from the moment she found out she was barren, that woman became the most bitter, biting old hag I ever met ..." Or, people could say, "You know, even though she fought that infertility crud, she never let it get the best of her." I wanted the latter! I wanted to be happy.

But this is hard when you feel like you are the only woman in the world who can't get pregnant. For awhile, every pregnant woman I saw was just a stab in the gut -- a reminder of what I couldn't have. To combat this, I made myself PRAY for the woman and her baby every time a pregnant person passed me. Well that did the trick. You can't be silently cursing someone when you are praying for them now can you? I also started the blog to help share my thoughts and feelings with friends and family and open up the conversation on the topic. I told people how they could help. I asked friends to be sensitive with pregnancy announcements. I made it a personal goal to help educate the public about infertility. I discovered Target.com and realized I could send a baby gift without ever having to walk back into the baby section again! I decided I would not attend any baby showers for the sake of my own sanity. I helped start the support group at my church in Minnesota. I found "Hannah's Prayer" online. I started going to counseling. I turned to my best bud Kristi and a few other close friends who had experienced the pain of infertility. I did everything that I could to stay healthy. I did not want to turn into a bitter woman. I did not want to get depressed. There were many nights JB would go down his "depression checklist" and then tell me that I was doing okay. "You aren't depressed. You are just very, very sad," he would say. He learned how to help me. We learned how to help each other.

I am not glad we had to deal with infertility. What I am glad about is that I have learned how to grieve. I have learned how to comfort others who are grieving. I have understood what it feels like to question God, your faith, your stability, your marriage, your future, eternity. And I have come out on the other side. Today in the doctor's office I think I realized that I am no longer "the infertile woman". I am the "woman who will soon be a mom." I was so relieved to have all that behind me, at least for awhile. It felt good!

Scrubs and his purple blanket

I love my husband

I love my husband. I just really, really love him. I just love when he is home. I love just hanging out with him. I love falling asleep next to him. I sleep soooo much better when he is there. I think when he isn't there I sleep a bit more guarded, and as a result, just do not sleep well. I also love that last night was my husband's last call night for like three weeks. YES!

John has only been home for about 24 hours, but seriously, it feels like a week! Yesterday while he was taking a long nap trying to recover from call, I went to the grocery store and finally restocked our kitchen.

Did you know that grocery shopping is one of my least favorite activities? Maybe that should have been one of my eight random facts the other day. This is why I miss Super Target so much. That place was great! JB could grocery shop while I wandered around the fun side of the store. Oh well.

Honestly though ... grocery shopping probably parallels with going to the dentist (sorry Rachel.) But going on payday weekend! That's like a root canal or something even worse! Yikes! I was having trouble navigating successfully due to the sheer number of carts present. Unfortunately, I have no idea when payday weekend is to prevent this from occurring in the future. John's pay is still not regulated and normal so payday weekend means very little to me. (How hard is it to get someone's pay correct?!)

However, my jaunt to the Commissary wasn't as painful for one very good reason. I took some recipes from Lesley's blog (Go Les!) This made it much less intimidating to find some meals to make. We'll see how they turn out. Keep these coming Lesley! If you don't know what I am talking about, check out the easy recipe link on the side of Lesley's blog.

John cooked some bratz on the grill (we miss Minnesota and the Sviggum farm!) while I put together some fruit salad. Folks, if you don't know the secret to great fruit salad let me tell you -- it is one raspberry yogurt. Put any fruit you want in with one raspberry yogurt and you've got a fantastic fruit salad. We had blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, mandarin oranges, and grapes. It was great! While we ate our dinner we watched the movie Nowhere in Africa. Has anyone seen this movie? I think I liked it, but definitely cannot recommend it. It was beautiful and interesting but quite strange. Anyone agree (or disagree?)

We took a break midway through the movie to take Scrubs on a hike near the Commissary. If you didn't know it my dear local blog readers, there's a great hiking, walking trail just before you get to the Commissary area. Scrubs loved it! JB and I also enjoyed it. John would come back anytime with the dog. I don't think I would come unless JB was with me. The woods freak me out a bit. Maybe I'll go without JB when my dog is a bit bigger.

We returned and finished our movie while Scrubs fell asleep on the couch and JB and I ate some milk and cookies. Well, JB drank the milk. Those of you who know me well know that milk is not something I enjoy drinking straight. I can do it in cereal but not just in a glass.

Anyways, what a fun night!!! I love my husband and love when my husband is home.

A bit of this and a bit of that

Pensacola
It's Saturday morning, and I am anxiously awaiting JB's arrival. He did his last call night in Pensacola last night. He now has one more week -- just four more round trip drives before he is off of that rotation. I cannot wait! My Tante Jan wrote on a comment recently that she "hopes I never get used to him being gone 80 hours a week." I never thought about it like that, but I agree! I really try to have a good attitude but folks, I really don't like it. I know that JB supposedly started with two of the more time intensive rotations, and I keep trying to remind myself of that. However, getting used to being by yourself is not something that is coming easily to me. I am so excited that he will be back on base and not doing any call for awhile.

Scrubs
Scrubs and I just got home for a walk. We walk a lot. We walk close to six miles a day. We are also starting to jog a little bit together. He's turning into a mighty fine dog if I do say so myself. He loves ice cubes and the dishwasher and peanut butter. We still feed him out of his chew toys and not out of his bowl, and if I put peanut butter on a chew toy, he will march right into his kennel and wait for me to arrive with the prize. He loves to chase his tail and chew on his back foot. He follows me around for every chore I do -- patiently waiting for me to throw every piece of clothes into the dryer and pull every pot out of the cabinet. He seems to be coming closer and closer to being house broken which is always encouraging. He sleeps through the night or only gets up one time and goes absolutely bonkers when JB walks into the house each evening -- his tail flickering back and forth a mile a minute. Each evening he sits on the couch with us until he falls asleep and then willingly goes to his crate for the night. What a fun friend! Of course, there is a lot of work involved as well that I don't take lightly, but the benefits are definitely worth it.

Hartleys
In other news, I spoke with Kristi last night. She and her family are doing as well as could be expected. I ask that you please just continue to pray for her family. Primarily pray for comfort during this very difficult time. Ryan and Jeff were scouting out land for Ryan and Dad to build some trails. They have been running a construction business. Dad was waiting up ahead with the horses for the plane to arrive and land, and it never arrived. They are planning a funeral on Monday and then Jeff's funeral will be on Tuesday. Jeff's family is very close to the Hartley's. His daughter was in Kristi's wedding. Like I said, when your town is 200 people, you know everyone. Kristi will stay at the ranch for awhile to help, but it is a very difficult situation. I was planning to go and see Kristi for a long weekend in early October. Now I am not sure when I will go. I have left it up to Kristi to tell me when she needs me. Right now there are so many people there I would just be in the way but as things settle down, I hope to spend some time with my best bud. I love their family so much and am so blessed by them. For those of you who don't Kristi, she and I were college roommates and have been bosom buddies ever since.

Writing
My stories for The Wedding Magazine are coming along pretty nicely. I plan to post them online as soon as they go to press so you can read them although I am not sure how many of you are interested in catering and outdoor weddings. I have another interview with one of the caterers via phone at 3pm today.

Parents
I am also anxiously counting the days until my parents come up to Eglin for Labor Day! I am so excited to see them and introduce them to our new home. The last time my mom was here was when we moved in so the place was in shambles. It will be nice to have her here without having to put her to work.

Adoption
Oh, I also meant to tell everyone that Thursday night, JB had dinner with some new local friends who have a two year old daughter they adopted from China. It was wonderful to meet them. Hannah is just precious! They have put us in touch with a whole "northern Florida" network of support that we look forward to connecting with over the next few years. This is a great answer to prayer. Speaking of the adoption, JB and I have our physicals on Monday. These are the last things we need before sending all of the required paperwork to the adoption agency. At that point, we should be able to proceed with our home study! Things are moving slowly, but they are moving.

All right, off to get a bit of work done before JB gets home. Have a great weekend everyone.

My first tag - awww......

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
(**if you’re a non-blogger, you can email them!)
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I played the clarinet for four years. JB played the clarinet as well. We played in the band together. We were also on the same basketball team for a year.

2. When asked the other day what I wish I could do without penalty, I decided it was eat anything. I don't like to eat a lot, but I do love to eat foods that aren't good for me. If I could eat all the choclate, french fries, hushpuppies, Long John Silvers, ice cream, and oreos that I wanted with them registering like I was eating green beans, I'd be very pleased.

3. If I could change one thing about myself, I wish I could wear funky shoes with great big pumps.

4. I have loved to write since I was a very, very small. My mom has old stories of mine from when I was in the first and second grade that were pages and pages long. I used to fill up notebooks with stories.

5. I used to beat up my brother and then clean his room so he wouldn't tell on me. If he still told, my parents would agree that I had already served my punishment and would not repunish me.

6. I used to think that the crust on the bread really was better for you. I actually only discovered this was a lie my parents told me so that I would eat the crust when I was 21 and married and I repeated this to John. He immediately informed me that my parents had successfully "duped" for 21 years.

7. I vividly remember my first rollercoaster ride with my Dad. It was Thunder Mountain at Disney World. My Dad tried to explain to me that I could yell and scream as much as I wanted, but I really didn't want to do that. It's funny that my father, who hates roller coasters, tried to convince me that they were fun. I don't think he really believed it.

8. My very first memory of childhood is bringing my brother home from the hospital. I was two, but I have very clear memories of going to the hospital to get him and hoping that they would let us take the wheelchair home because that would be a great toy to play on.

Okay, so who am I going to tag:

• Lesley
• Tara
• Rachel
• FunkyMonkey
• Gabbi
• Joia
• Kristen
• Steg family

(I'll let the Rays off the hook because they are just moving into a new house and Plan B Tara because she just had a new baby and Justin because I can't ever figure out how to get into myspace without getting mad!)

(I've never done this tagging thing before, so now I have to go to each of their blogs and tell them they are "tagged" and that they have to come here and follow the directions.)

(Oh, by the way, I was tagged by Amy.)

Gracie's first day at FLCS

My niece grace became yet another Fort Lauderdale Christian School student this week. She started five day a week pre-school. Isn't this picture just the cutest? That little uniform is so cute. I totally stole this picture from her mother Gabbi's blog. How can you get mad at me for telling the world how cute your kid is? Of course, Grace would probably be fine starting kindergarten this year, but she's just a tad too young.

Hard to believe that there actually won't be an absence of a Kits. at FLCS since the Kits first inundated the place in the early 80's.

Very sad news

Last night the phone rang at 10:15. This obviously caused me to jump as people know we are not night owls and never really call us after 9pm. I got a call from my best friend Kristi. Her older brother Ryan was killed in a small plane crash. Ryan was 34. I really don't know many more details at this point except that the man who he was flying with (who I know only by name) was also killed.

I really didn't sleep much at all last night after this call. This is a town of 200 so not only does this impact the family but everyone that lives there. If you think of it please pray for Ryan's wife -- Melissa, and her young son Payson (who is about 6). Please pray for his parents Ray and Doris. And for his four sisters: Kristi, Linnie, Tandra and Amy. Kristi was on the way to the ranch when she called which was infamous for bad service, and needless to say, Kristi wasn't speaking very clearly either.

I really don't know what else to say. This has been a tough few years for the Hartley's with a variety of frustrations and illnesses and they just need the arms of the Lord right now. He's the only one that can possibly bring comfort to this situation.

I love you Hartleys.

It's time for some trivia

It's been too long since we did any trivia. So here we go:

Nearly a third of all Americans did this today - most of us did it before we had breakfast

Here's the past winners list:
Cindy V.
Doormark x2
Ebby
Gabbi x 4
Jason
Joanna x2
Justin
Kristen x3
Patrick
Tara (in Cali)
Ray
Suebaby x2
Randy
Funkmonkey
Nicole

I'm not a lefty!

I've prided myself most of my life on being fairly ambidextrous. I don't often discuss my former athletic days, but I could play both volleyball and basketball pretty well left-handed. My left handed layup was just as good as my right, and when needed, I could hit in volleyball with my left as well.

But today I realized, I'm really not ambidextrous at all.

Today, I am trying, fairly pitifully, to use a mouse with my left hand.

For about two weeks now, my right arm has been really bothering me. My shoulder, the front side of my elbow, and my wrist. I'm not sure if it was all the push-ups I have been doing (I'm up to 35 straight!) or if it the fact that I am at a desk all day and a chair all day -- both of which I have never sat at all day before moving here.

At Mayo, I had a chair that had a moving arm rest. That way I could always have support for my elbow. This chair doesn't have that. So, I decided to switch sides. Make my left arm do the major mouse work. See if my right arm starts feeling better.

The thing is, have you ever tried this?

I knew it would be hard. My boss at Mayo uses a left handed mouse for similar reasons. Occasionally he would ask me to do something on this computer, and I'd get so mad at his clicker being on the wrong side of the mouse. It would drive me crazy.

I just don't think any of us think about how much we do without even thinking about it. I zip around on my computer using function keys and shortcuts all day long. I make my screen bigger and larger constantly with a touch of my house and holding down the control key. But try to do that with my left hand. Yeah right!

Want to drive your spouse or family member crazy! Switch the mouse to a left handed mouse. (You have to go into the control panel to do this.) They'll be yelling at you in now time! It's incredibly frustrating. So much that I do is engrained in my memory like walking or riding a bike. Change one little thing and see what you can accomplish.

I'll let you know how long I can put up with this madness!

Weekly Lunch

Not sure how well you can read this but the myself and five other wives have been getting together once a week for lunch. You can click on the picture and it will open in a bigger window. This is our third week in a row! Bravo girls! I took them back to that awesome New Orleans restaurant that Jenny took me to. Andrea had spent the last four years in New Orleans so she enjoyed the return to familiarity. This place is a whole in the wall from the outside but awesome inside and not a place I'd ever have gone without someone to take me there. I got that same awesome banana and chicken salad. With the four youngsters, we had taken every highchair in the restaurant (and Della didn't even use one!) I really enjoy these lunches and the reminder that I am not the only wife with a husband who is an intern.

It is currently 6:56pm. I just got off the phone with JB. He is just leaving Pensacola. I think he's going to pick some dinner up on the way home. I miss him!

Don't take my photo

The above was our attempt at getting a picture of Scrubs -- primarily Scrubs with his new "dog tag" in case he gets lost. Picture number two is probably the closest we came to accomplishing this task. Me sitting across from him and having the camera just provoking him is asking a lot. You can also spot the now clean, purple blanket in the background -- a blanket that, gulp, was actually a gift to me, from my mom. Sorry mom! But he really, really likes it, and if I tried to take it back, things would not go well. I need to get a video of him with that blanket. If I bring it back into the laundry room, he follows me, waits for me to drop it, then politely picks it up and prances into the kitchen where he drops it in the same spot every time. This is his blanket to chew his ice cubes (he LOVES ice cubes).

Yesterday was, a much better day for the little pup. It was also an encouraging day for me. I went to the dentist to have him look at my left crown which has been sore. Rachel, I think you were right. He thinks it was too high and filed the tooth down for me. Hopefully, the pain when I eat goes away -- if not, then it might be indicative that something else is wrong. He was a really great dentist which I am glad about so I can just use him for the next three years. There are dentists on base, but they only see active personnel. They also require these airmen to go. JB started getting some pretty heated emails about him being "undeployable" because his teeth were dirty. Quite funny. I chose this dentist strictly on the Internet as I didn't have a recommendation to go on when I needed to make the appointment.

I am now walking two times a day with the dog. In the morning I am walking with Tiffany (and hopefully Joia) a 3+ mile loop. In the evening, I am trying to do another 2+. The morning walk really helps wear the dog down. The evening route isn't always as successful. I think we may need to double it. Our evening walk to the water park and back is often broken up by tons of little kids asking me if they can "pet the puppy." Scrubs does very well (mainly because he is too tired to do otherwise) just sitting there and letting the kids pet him. We also ran into a couple yesterday with two Great Danes. These are apparently very docile dogs but absolutely HUGE. Here's a sample pic below. Scrubs does great though despite the fact that he is half their size!

One time is acceptable, but TWO

Hi Marilyn,

Beth is out of the office until September 1st. I'm trying to handle her issues. Can you provide me with a little more direction on what it is you need? I'm sorry to be an incontinence but I am doing my best to not ask Beth any questions while she is taking some time off.

Wendi

The email above is one I actually wrote today. Did you catch my error? Look again. Incontinence should be, inconvenience.

Unfortunately, this is the SECOND time in my life that this exact same thing happened to me. If you type this word: inconvience into an email and you have spellchecker on, the first suggestion the spellchecker makes is incontinence. I clicked too fast and before I knew it, for the second time in my life, the email was gone. "Noooo! Stop!!!! I didn't want that word." But it's too late. The email is gone, lost somewhere in cyberspace just waiting to thoroughly embarrass me.

And then the apology email that has to follow. How do you explain THAT one?

What's even worse is that this email actually says: "I'm trying to handle her issues."

Oh bother. What a dumb mistake.

A moment

I had a moment last night that I tried to remember why we got a dog.

Actually the moment came in three parts.

Part one of the moment was when we discovered that while I was vacuuming, Scrubs had peed on our white down comforter! We very rarely let him out of the kitchen. He was only out for a few minutes. I think the vacuum may have scared him into peeing. So, that'll have to go to the dry cleaner.

Part two of the moment was when he peed on his favorite purple blanket in the kitchen. I still don't know why he did that! He loves his blanket. I think he was wrestling with it and got excited and peed on it.

Part three of the moment was when he went on a walk with JB and came back MORE excited than when he left. I told John I think they actually went around the block and took naps on the lawn instead of walking to the park and back. The dog was more wired upon returning then he was when leaving. He was so wired that when I let him out to go to the bathroom, he took off with one of my flip-flops and left it in the yard somewhere. It took me almost five minutes to find it in the dark!

But then, the cute little pup fell asleep on the couch -- obviously whippd from such an exhausting evening of peeing and hiding flip flops. He was so cute and soft just lying there that I decided to forgive him and give another chance to be a better puppy. We'll see how today goes!

Finally a white cloud

Now that it is 7:17am, I don't think it is possible for me to "jinx" the white cloud that finally seemed to follow JB to work in Pensacola this weekend.

You physicians know what I am talking about. Doctors often call someone a black or a white cloud depending on how much work is generated when they are in the hospital. So far this year, JB's white cloud status from medical school had been whisped away by some pretty hefty black clouds. Example: his first night on call at Eglin and his first night on call at Pensacola were considered abnormally busy evenings. The one in Pensacola they claimed was near record-breaking.

I talked to JB at 8:30pm last night and there were only 9 people in the hospital and only 1 admission. This in comparison to his previous night call: 33 people in the hospital and 11 admissions. Needless to say my JB sounded like a whole new man! He had taken a nap (since it's Saturday there aren't any normal weekday things to accomplish) and was actually planning on going to bed with the hope of a fairly normal night's sleep.

I haven't heard from him yet but a normal night's sleep would mean a normal Sunday for us -- instead of a Sunday that he has to sleep through. I am praying for a white cloud!

Last night I hung out with Joia. Her husband Phil was on call here on base. Each intern does this approximately once a month, and it was Phil's first night. He sounded quite white as well which was wonderful. Joia brought dinner here to cook so that when Phil called she could run it over. It was a fantastic meal idea and one I will actually steal. (Joia says that Kraft's website is a great one for meal ideas.) She put chicken, broccoli, cheese, some ranch dressing, rice, and spices in tinfoil and cooked at 400 for 30 minutes! What a great meal to cook for our husbands when they are on call as we need something easy to transport. Of course she made one for the two of us too.

While she brought dinner to Phil, I attempted to exhaust my pup. Going on a walk every morning at 7:30 helps incredibly. A midday walk would help but Scrubs usually isn't interested. (Maybe that's because the heat index was 115 yesterday?) But by 6:30 he is raring to go again. Last night we met our new neighbors. We now have 3 families (including ours) living on our street! Right across from us is Chip and April (who have the twin daughters). And now, joining them on that side of the street is Tiffany and Doug and their two dogs. Scrubs loved playing with them, and I barely had to walk him because he just went wild with them for about 20 minutes while I chatted with Tiffany. No big surprise that Tiffany is due to have a baby in November. (Sorry, I guess that's a tad bit bitter and sarcastic but seriously, every woman in our neighborhood has five kids or a huge belly.) But it was still nice to meet some more people close by. It's amazing how different the base is. We really go out of our way to meet neighbors here. I love it!

Joia returned and took Keenan (her awesome five month old) and myself to see Turkey Run (is that what it's called Joia? I think I might have messed it up again?) John and I have to go here. It's a boardwalk with water all around it that you can just put a raft in and float down. It's the neatest place. We are definitely going to go and try this.

She also took me to Dairy Queen. Oh sweet heaven a chocolate oreo cookie blizzard. Is there any surprise what I would order? It was delightful and the first one I have had since leaving Minnesota. Okay, so I did have a sonic blast the night of our failed IVF, but quite honestly, I'm more of a fan of DQ because they serve chocolate ice cream. At Sonic, JB has to get them to put chocolate syrup in to fake the chocolate! :) Very fun.

Scrubs and I fell asleep on the couch together last night. I thought about staying there but just wasn't sure if I'd wake up to find him gnawing on the arm of the sofa. So I finally lugged him to his little den. He is still sleeping in his little crate and then hanging out in the bigger crate during the day. I need to switch his sleep to the bigger crate, but he isn't that crazy about it and really likes the tiny one for sleeping. So we'll see.

Scrubs is doing really well. He sits, lies down, and even leaves pretty well. He really doesn't have any accidents as long as I watch him very closely. Even my slippers. For awhile, anytime we left him out in the living room, he'd go on a mission to find my slippers and chew on one until I found it. But now, he will sniff it, think about it, and walk by. This is good. He's doing pretty good meeting new people as well.

The thing that is probably driving me the most crazy is his strong will in deciding when and if he will "come". If he feels like it, he trots right in. If I tell him John is inside (a big fat lie), he will come. If I have a good treat, he will come. But if not, he will look right at me and continue eating the rocks or the daisies or whatever else tastes good at that moment. We start puppy kindergarten next month. Hopefully she can help with that!

Yes!

Scrubs told me had to go potty today. Well not told me, told me, but successfully whined and walked to the door and sat down. Yes! Success! I am really pushing him. After I wake him up from a nap I don't take him out right away even though I know he has to go like crazy. Trying to get him to tell me he has to go. YAY SCRUBS!

Apples and Oranges

I don't know if it is really fair to compare Florida and Minnesota. They are such different states after all. Florida has the beach and sunshine and oranges. Minnesota has snow and skiing and apple orchards! Florida has one season: summer. Minnesota has two: summer and winter.

But I've now been a Floridian again for over two months. I feel it fair to accurately present what I think of returning to life in the Sunshine state. So here, are my current opinions.

Weather
So this section should be pretty obvious. The weather here is, glorious. Okay, so I should be fair. I have hesitated in saying this lest God come down and smite me (or as Bruce Almighty says: "Smite me thy mighty smiter") and send me back to Minnesota on a bolt of lightning. (That's a joke folks!) But, in all seriousness, I hesitated in admitting that, well, it IS hot. It's quite warm. Baking actually. However, I really do love it and would take the warm temperatures over the freezing ones everyday and any day. I will be able to go for a walk or a run 12 months a year. I don't know if everyone here will do that. They'll probably huddle in doors with hot chocolate when it drops to 60. But 60 is nothing in Minnesota. So John and I will make everyone think we are crazy jogging the neighborhood in the "dead of winter!"

People
I am aware, every single day, that while we have returned to Florida, we haven't returned to Fort Lauderdale. People in south Florida are just plain rude, mean, and cranky. Now not all people mind you, but the majority really are. I really don't know why this is true, but it is. I know New York has a bad rap for rude people, but I think Fort Lauderdale ties it nicely. Maybe this is because Fort Lauderdale is filled with folks who have retired from New York City. Now again, this is a generalization.

We have returned to the Bible belt -- the south. Southern hospitality is alive and well. I was praying that this would not be a part of the country that I had to be informed I was tall everywhere I went. Thankfully, it isn't! I very rarely here tall jokes or wise cracks and for that I am thankful. Drivers will wave you in in traffic. (In Fort Lauderdale, if they wave, they are waving only one finger!) It's a different part of the country. I can most compare it to Kentucky. It's most like the life I lived there. Good ol' southern folks.

It wouldn't be fair to compare without throwing Minnesota in. The people in Minnesota are ... nice. "Minnesota nice" as JB and I affectionately named it. Everyone is very pleasant, smiling, saying hello. However, they are really just doing that to be polite, because they are "Minnesota nice." Now please don't be offended if you are from Minnesota reading this. Not everyone is like this of course. Many Minnesotans are quite hospitable and not in the "Minnesota nice" category. But the majority of people just want to get to know you on a polite, surface level. They don't want to go deeper like the southerners. Does that make sense?

Convenience
One of the things that I miss most about Minnesota is the convenience of where we lived. I loved living downtown. I loved walking everywhere. I loved filling up our car with gas every other month. I loved the underground subway. I loved our Super Target and how close it was. I loved that I had figured out a way to get almost everywhere downtown through that underground subway. I had memorized every nook and cranny of that place. I loved that I walked three minutes to work. I loved that we lived in a condo requiring no upkeep. I loved being across the street from the gym. I loved all of our friends living so close, especially Dave and Les, just two floors up. (Awww man, that makes me sad just thinking about it.)

I do like living on base. I like having friends like Matt and Tiffany right around the block that I can borrow milk from. (Okay, so I haven't borrowed milk yet, but I would if I needed it.) I like that I am learning most of my neighbors' names and that kids play outside without a second thought. No one is really afraid for the safety of children on base and everyone truly seems to trust each other. People wave at passing cars. I like that there is a grocery store and BX (Kmart type store) right down the street from us. However, after that, the convenience ends. We are filling up our car a lot. Any restaurant, other than the few fast food places on base, require quite a hike. Nothing is very close. This is a bit inconvenient and Minnesota definitely wins in this category.

Friends
This is a tough section for me to write. Man do we miss our friends. I would say that we miss our families too, and we do. However, we have both been away from our families for over a decade so that has became pretty "usual" to us.

I remember when we left Kentucky. Leaving the Wilsons and Josh and Sarah was VERY hard. (It wasn't hard leaving Ron and Ebby because they came WITH us!) We LOVED living across the street from Josh and Sarah. It was awesome. We were at each other's homes all the time.

Leaving Minnesota was equally as hard. So many good friends left behind. It does comfort me slightly that many of them have dispersed (or will) as well. The Rays have relocated to North Carolina. Tara is in California. Ajit went to Arizona. The Yuans probably won't stay too long past their four year commitment if Kristen has anything to do with it. The Philips, likewise, will probably relocate. But then there are those people that have remained. Hans and Rachel! The Jones! The women in my support group! Coworkers and friends at church. The list goes on and on. Saying good bye to these people is so hard. We have already made some great friends here, and I am so blessed by that. But leaving behind friends in Minnesota is really tough on me to think about still.

Schedule
So I will try to keep this brief. Complaining doesn't help anyone. But JB's schedule has been very difficult for both of us. We are used to being around each other a lot. When we lived in Kentucky, I was a work-a-holic, but JB worked from home, and we saw each other all the time. When we were in Minnesota, he was in medical school, but we were always right downtown together, able to connect for a quick lunch or conversation. He was also home at more reasonable hours.

And then, there's Florida. Now granted, I've been told that JB started with two of the more time consuming rotations. But man oh man the guy is gone A LOT. It's a lot of hours, and a lot of hours away from each other. It isn't that I am bored (not at all) or even lonely (I have friends I feel like I could connect with at anytime.) It's more that I just miss my best friend. I miss having him around and seeing him and hanging out with him.

Last night we had a nice evening. John got home at 6:30 but brought food for dinner. We ate hummus and pitas and fruit and crackers and cheese by the bay -- our dinner only interrupted when Scrubs saw a family playing in the bay and decided to join them, diving straight into the water. We also had an interesting diversion when a man came by with his two labs who were so excited to see Scrubs that they pulled the man down the hill. Like, he fell on his but down the embankment! That meant JB had to give the pup a bath after his swim. We are wondering if this is going to bring an end to letting him off the leash at the bay. We can't bathe him every evening!

But I digress ...

I say all that to say that sometimes, we do get some nice, quality time together. But the moments aren't as frequent as either of us would like. John left at 5am this morning for Pensacola. He will be home on Sunday morning. If he didn't get an sleep, he'll sleep until mid-day Sunday leaving only a few hours before the start of another week rolls around. That's a bit frustrating. When your loved one is working twice as much as a "normal work week", you lose 40 hours a week of quality time together. I'm not quite used to that yet.

Conclusion
In conclusion, I have decided, that in all fairness, I can't say that Florida is hands down, the winner in the comparison between past and present homes. I also can't call Minnesota a loser just because it has the worst weather in America. It's apples and oranges I suppose. The secret is learning to be content, in all things, wherever you are, right now. That's all I know for sure.

I feel powerless

We lost power again last night.

Well let me back up.

JB came home around 6pm with Thai food. Yum! By 8pm, I had wandered into bed and fallen asleep. I was just exhausted. At 3am I woke up to a HUGE lightning storm. We had all our shades drawn but the room was lighting up repeatedly. I've been told that we live in one of the top lightning strike cities in the world. I don't have any proof for this, but that's what I have heard and so far, I believe it! (Remember that we were AT SONIC when one of the umbrellas was burned to smithereens!)

At 4am I woke up again when our fan went off. Lost power again. I think this is the third time in 2.5 months that we have lost power. Matt and Tiffany are getting a generator. I'm really glad. We need friends with a generator!

I woke JB up to tell him that the power was out. Well, not just to tell him that the power was out (because that would be cruel!) but to tell him that he needed to set another alarm clock. He couldn't find his phone, so he set his beeper. John walking around woke the dog up. I took the dog out and chose to sleep on the couch where it's a little cooler and where I couldn't hear the pup tossing and turning. Not having our fan on changed the dynamics of our home drastically. I could every move that dog made.

It felt like only a few minutes later that I heard Scrubs barking again. I got up and took him out again, complaining under my breath that surely the dog could hold it more than 30 minutes. Since I couldn't find a clock, I had no idea what time it was but it did seem like the sun was coming up. I ran into the bedroom. JB was still in bed.

Freaking out as I do quite well, John started searching for his beeper. I found the flashlight that I had left in the bedroom from the last time we lost power and JB wasn't home. John finally found his beeper under a blanket. No idea why it wasn't on his end table, and I didn't have time to ask him. The light of the flashlight revealed the time on JB's beeper. It was 6:10am! John checked the alarm. He had set it for 5. But 5pm!

Now 6:10 may not seem that late. However, John leaves the house by 5:30, so 6:10 was a tad on the late side. Instead, he finally left the house close to 6:45. He is supposed to be in Pensacola at 7:00. Leave it to JB though. Once he realized he was late he decided not to stress about it and just take it in stride. I think he was subconsciously glad for the extra hour sleep.

I tried to call my jobs to let them know I wasn't online. Our phones were out. Apparently they have a 3hr battery life. That had expired. I went to find my cell phone. Dead! And of course I couldn't recharge it. So I finally called both jobs when Joia joined me at 7:30. She is thinking she'll join Tiffany and I on occasion for our 7:30am walk. She lives only a few minutes from base.

Tiffany ended up not walking with us. She had company in and her plans for breakfast were ruined slightly by the lack of power! Oh well.

Quite a night. Now I'm an hour behind on work. Gotta get to it!

Good example of my work

I know that many people are confused about what it is exactly that I do all day. I sit behind a computer and work from home more than 40 hours a week doing ... what, exactly.

So today I was working on a project that I thought would accurately explain a type of project I do at RLSF.

Yesterday, an article ran online that made a complete mockery of RLS. You can read the article HERE.

I, in response, write a "Letter to the Editor" disputing claims made in the piece. You can read my "Letter to the Editor" HERE.

Nice morning smiles

Thought these pics were too cute not to post. I also think it is too cute that Lesley still has the little mouse eating a grape photo that JB sent me like a year ago, on her blog. Lesley, I think the grape eating mouse must now remain a permanent feature of your blog! I'd be very sad if he disappeared.

JB did bring our car to the shop yesterday, and we have a nice KIA for a rental car until the car is done -- hopefully today or tomorrow. Makes me want to get rid of our Saturn riding in this KIA. However, while our Saturn has 160,000 miles to its name, we don't believe this is the end for our Saturn. We believe in him/her! We are really hoping our Saturn sticks by us until residency is over ... at least.

Last night we attended a home study for the church we went to this past Sunday. There are two residents (a third year and a second year) that attend this home study and the church. It was a wonderful evening! I was also correct, regarding the diversity and adoption at the church. The pastor and his wife have adopted two African American children and numerous other couples are interested in adopting or have adopted, many internationally. This alone may be enough to send us here. It may be just the type of environment we need.

I also had lunch with the wives yesterday at Tiffany's house. This is a great mid-week event. (Good idea Joia!) It really helps to remember I am not the only wife doing this residency thing. There are others! There are actually 8 wives in the intern class. However, there are really just 6 of us that are in this sort of core "group." I am so blessed to have such wonderful women to share this three year journey with! It was something I prayed for and something I really needed. One of the other wives, Jodi, also doesn't have children. She and I are the lone "child-free rangers". I am hoping she doesn't decide to get a job! I want her to stay involved with the group. I am also trying to talk the wives into getting a dog. I think I can win Jodi and Joia over. Actually, Joia's easy. They'll have a dog in no-time!

Joia and Tiffany, I need to get a picture of the group from you to share on my blog. I'll try to do that soon.

All right, off to walk with Tiffany!

Bullet less Bullets

So I have some very random points I plan to share today. I've decided to forgo the bullets because, well, I just feel like it, I guess.

Some of you have asked me what I am writing in the Wedding Magazine. The Editor gives me stories. She also provides me contacts. Not all Editors do this. The contacts are wonderful. My stories are about (1) Tailoring a meal to a couple (2) Unique outdoor locations. It's nice to believe she is asking me becuase I am such a stellar writer, but quite honestly, dependability int he business is even more important. A writer who doesn't come through will never be utilized again. So I guess, more than being a good writer, I am reliable. That's not too shabby.

I am becoming much more comfortable with the phone. The one month sabbatical of our Director of Communications at the RLS Foundation has left me as her primary back-up. Recently, there have been a few key news stories on RLS that have left many people interested in doing articles on RLS. The phone is ringing a lot. I also called all six contacts for my Wedding Magazine story yesterday and left messages or set up interview times. This is always the hardest part of writing a story for me.

Scrubs does not like his new crate. Our new friend down the street, Heather, sold us a crate she used to use for her two labs. (Well, I think only one lab used it at a time.) Scrubs' little crate is really little. He can't stand up in it anymore. (He's growing soooo fast!) His big crate must feel too big for him because he barks like the dickens. We've been letting him sleep at night in the little crate for now just because we don't want him barking like the dickens at 1 in the morning. He's basically sleeping through the night. Last night was the first night in a week that he barked to be let out at 3:30. He went out and then trotted right back in to his kennel. I want everyone to meet my puppy! In order to get him to go into the crate, I am smearing peanut butter on his chew toys. This helps relax him.

If you didn't read the comment on my post from a few days ago from a "fellow adoptive mom", you really should. I was really educated about how much paperwork is actually involved in domestic adoption. While the paperwork is different, it is still intense -- much of it associated with the birth mom having the opportunity to choose you. Thanks "fellow adoptive mom"!

Tonight we are going to attend a home fellowship at one of the third year resident's, Tristan. He attends this new church we tried and liked on Sunday. I know that finding a "service" on Wednesdays is important as we don't know how often JB will have off to go on Sundays. However, I have to say that I am hesitant to give up any of my limited time with JB in the evenings. I know we will have a great time, but I really miss John when he is gone all day. I know we are going to the fellowship together, but still ...

JB is going to drop the Saturn off in Pensacola tonight and get a rental car. It really needs a tune-up. Our air is measly, the brakes are squeaking, and we have to leave the key in the ignition because it gets stuck so much. (Yeah! For real!) Oh, and it needs an oil change too. Unfortunately there isn't a dealership here in town, and we really want to stick with just taking it to the dealer.

Can you believe Tara's bike seat got stolen? Read her bog to read the real truth! How ridiculous is that?!?!

We found out John gets mileage reimbursement for these trips to Pensacola. Great news since we figure it is costing about $100 a week to make that drive. Apparently you will actually make some money in the whole deal.

We still do not have a "set" income coming in for JB. Apparently this is pretty usual with the Air Force. It takes them awhile to get your pay correct. As a result you may be receiving too much or too little, and they are going to correct this eventually. One guy last year got $11,000 too much so they deducted $1,000 each month for 11 months! Now, I have to be honest. I really don't get why this is so hard. Here's how much he needs to make. Just pay him that amount? As a result, we still can't set our budget which is a bit frustrating for me, who really desires structure in our spending.

I went out for lunch with my friend Jenny. She took me to "The French Quarter Restaurant" in Valparaiso. (Joia, you got to try this. It's right down the street from you.) I am not really a huge salad eater, but I got a grilled chicken, banana, and orange salad on spinach. It was FANTASTIC! Seriously, probably the best salad I have ever had. Go there locals! Jenny is moving to Texas with her fighter pilot husband Tim, their dog Riley, and their new son Jackson (who hates riding in a car!) I will really miss her.

I have decided to alter my exercise a bit. I am having some discomfort when I run. My left foot is still bothering me and my knees are bothering me as well. I think it was probably the combo of bad shoes and a new surface to run on here. In addition, I really do not have time to go on a jog and then take Scrubs on a walk (and the boy needs to walk a lot so that he doesn't jump off the walls!) So I have decided to change to walking for a bit of time. Tiffany goes in the mornings sometimes. She does a 3 mile track. Scrubs handled it fine yesterday and slept the morning away when we get back. Tiffany also has long legs too so she walks fast like me. I also have a 2 mile track to the water park and back that Scrubs seems to like. So we are starting each morning with a big hefty walk. We also break for 2-3 shorter walks (a few blocks) as well as about 10 minutes sprinting around the driveway. I also take some breaks for toning exercises. So this is working well. I really miss the running, but my body and my time needs a change for just awhile. I hope, when Scrubs is older, that I can return to it.

We hope to get together next week with this new family in the area who adopted from China. How cool is that?

The wives are meeting once a week for lunch. This week, Tiffany is hosting.

My parents are coming into town for Labor Day! JB has the whole weekend off that weekend as well which is very unusual. That will be so fun.

To view an update on Matt, CLICK HERE.

That's all I got today folks. Hope you enjoyed the bullet less bullets.

Paperwork and writing papers

Everyone told me how much paperwork was involved with adoption, but quite honestly, I don't know if I really believed them. Domestic adoption requires a lot, but international adoption requires even more with all the paperwork going to the Embassy in the country you are adopting from.

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed yesterday, when I got an email from a woman in the area. I had written on our "information card" at one of the churches we visited that I was interested in adoption/infertility support, and he gave this lady my email! She has a daughter from China, her husband is in the Air Force, and they are looking to use America World for their next adoption from Ethiopia!!! Wow! So much in common. She said there is a support group for parents who have adopted from China in Northern Florida. She said there is a couple in Crestview (30 minutes from here) waiting for their referral for their daughter. She also said she would love to have us over for dinner and love to help us with our paperwork questions. What a blessing! Her name is Jen, and I am so thankful for her email! I already feel less alone here.

Last night over dinner, JB and I both filled out our "book list". We have to read two assigned books together and then three books separately of our own choosing. John picked one about "raising daughters" which was weird to write the title of! (Oh and speaking of dinner, JB made INDIAN! We found some Naan in the grocery store which is unusual and usually not good. Oh my this was HEAVEN! I haven't had Indian since before we left Minnesota.)

Next issue? The police clearance letter. I need to get a letter from a Florida police department saying we have no criminal history. It has to be notarized on police letterhead. The only problem? Every county around here I call tells me they will only give me a "Certificate" from the "Circuit court". No letter. No notary. I'm trying to figure out what to do about this and whether this will suffice. Jen said she had some advice on this. She thinks the clearance letter will suffice. I've emailed my family coordinator to find out.

Some steps are easy. I have this handy dandy little "copier/fax machine/printer" that I bought for work. Copy of passport. Got it. Copy of birth certificate? Yep. Marriage license. Got it.

Then there are the physicals. The next appointment we could get was the 20th! Since we can't start the home study until all this "stuff" is compiled, I wasn't psyched about this date. However, JB is going to call the resident doing our physicals and see if we can get some of the blood work and labs done ahead of time so once we get to the appointment, it is smooth sailing.

We have to find our income tax statement somewhere.

I'm waiting to get employment letters back from Mayo and RLSF. JB already has his. For some reason, they made him get one for our application itself but not me so we already had this. My bosses have to sign and notarize these forms and then mail them to me.

I've been working on my 2-4 page autobiography. JB hasn't had time to start his. We are talking about maybe having him dictate it to me over the phone on his way home from work tonight.

There's a lot more, but I'm getting tired just from writing this. I'll stop there.

Speaking of writing, I was contacted by The Wedding Magazine in Rochester, Minnesota about writing for the upcoming issue. Since most local magazines only hire local writers, I didn't think they would have me write again. She did want to me write again and asked me to do two stories. When she told me the deadline (August 24th) I told her that I didn't think I could get two stories done in that time frame with how busy I am. I added, "If I had ten more days, I think I could do it ..." She negotiated back and offered me five extra days (the 29th) to take both stories. I accepted. So aside from my two jobs, I have two pieces to write for this magazine. I truly love writing the pieces; it's pinning down people to interview that can cause a little more difficulty. But the pay is good and keeping my name "in the loop" is also good.

Speaking of writing, I'm off to work ... which really means just logging on to my remote servers. How easy of a commute is that?!

First gift for our daughter

Scrubs and I took our daily walk to the mailbox this morning and noticed we had a package. Inside were these shoes. I probably should have taken them out of the wrapping for a better picture, but I want to make sure they are preserved properly! So they won't come out of the bag for awhile. These were a gift from a dear friend. I won't reveal her identity, but needless to say I stood in the kitchen crying quite hard -- not out of sadness (for once) but out of happiness. Friend, your gift will go down as one of the most priceless treasures I have ever received. This is the FIRST item we have in our home specifically for our daughter. I am still unable to purchase anything or even think about anything (names, room, colors etc.). 

Ironically, it was just two days ago that Rachel put a comment on my blog pertaining to this very thing. She wrote: I just cannot WAIT for you and John to go and get your daughter. Every time I see a lovely pink something (outfit, hat, shoes) I think of you guys and your little one that is on the way. Just as much as I am excited for her to actually get here, I am almost as excited for the day to come when you feel like the end (her coming) is in sight. That day when you start to tell us about her bedroom that you are decorating and the clothes that you are buying for her. I can't wait to share in the excitement and anticipation with you!

When I read this, I thought it ironic that we haven't bought a single thing. I think JB would, but I just haven't even been able to contemplate it. Then, today, I got to the mailbox, and surprise! Our first daughter item. Rachel, aren't you excited?

To Heck with the Doula

So ... what can I say other than thank you all very much. JB and I got a good kick out of your personal responses to what YOU would say to the almighty Doula. (If you don't know what I am talking about, scroll down to a few posts ago.) From my Italian sister-in-law taking her down, to Amy training my dog to "sic infertility pricklers" (I did take that to mean you would do the training, right Amy?) The dog biting, Starbucks coffee, and late night calls. Thanks everyone. I feel so blessed to be encouraged by so many.

One of the best things that could pick up my spirits is having my best friend home to spend Sunday with me. Actually JB got home early on Saturday morning. However, he had been up for nearly 30 hours and was running on fumes. They admitted 11 patients and had 31 total on their service. I don't know much about this stuff, but JB informs me that this is a lot, nearly a record at the hospital.

Last night we went to a Japanese restaurant near the base for dinner. We really enjoyed it. We didn't sit at one of the tables where they cook your food in front of you, mainly because we wanted a little privacy and just to sit and talk ourselves. Instead, we sat at a quieter table, by ourselves. This place was perfect because JB could get Sushi (gag me with a fork folks!) and I could get good ol' Japanese steak and lobster. We planned on going home and watching a movie, but sleep took over instead.

We tried a new church this morning which we really enjoyed. This could be the church for us! We still want to go back to try another that we liked, one more time, but this was a nice place. Very comfortable. What I especially liked was the diversity in the church body. Having people of different races (and three different families in a fairly small congregation that appeared to have adopted other races) is important to us. We don't know that we are going to bring our daughter home before we leave Eglin, but finding a community of different races that embraces different culture is extremely important to us. We really feel that this will be important to us in all churches we choose from this point out. Our children have to feel that they belong.

I wanted to end today but sharing a song that JB heard online and downloaded for us. It's very powerful. I'm including the lyrics below it. If you have trouble viewing it on my blog, here's the direct link: NATALIE GRANT. This song teaches us that God doesn't promise a pain free life. But he does promise to hold us in the midst of the pain. Can we not, as he asked his disciples, wait just one hour in the garden? Is that too much to ask?




Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we?d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Friday explained by Joia

A bunch of the wives have decided that once a week they are going to try and get together with each other for lunch. Yesterday was at my house.

I've decided that instead of me explaining it, you should just check out Joia's blog entry from that page because she did such a good job. FUN FRIDAY.

There's a cute video of Scrubs with her son Keenan! Keenan loves Scrubs. Check it out!

Milk update

I think our refridgerator was set too low. That's why our milk was spoiling. So thanks for whoever suggested that. We turned it up and our milk is lasting much longer. And my yogurt is more solid too!