We Bought a Farm: A Wall

I hit walls now and then.

I think I'm hitting one now. It's a big wall. I saw it in the distance, but I thought it would go away by the time I got closer. And now I'm closer. And it's huge.

I'm forgetting a LOT of stuff. I just truly feel like I am doing and being too much. I can't find my phone numerous times a day. I totally forgot about the kids' speech appointments yesterday. (Thank goodness Grama didn't.) A child will ask me to do something, and before I know it, I am onto the next thing and they are yelling for me because I forgot what I was doing. I have left water running more times than I can count on the farm. So many times over the last few weeks a kid has basically said: "Mom, you forgot about me!"

I've also been dealing with bad migraines. They are both sinus-related and hormone-related, each one behaving differently. I've also been eating way below my standards.

I've spoken with some good and knowledgable friends about this, and they all think I'm just being pulled in too many directions. But I don't know how to limit the pull. I have no idea where I can shave off responsibility.

I have no idea, right now, how to cut anything out. I truly feel I am doing the things that have to be done. I am not doing any extra. I'm praying. I'm thinking. I'm looking.

As always, I'm trying to keep it real on this Blog. I'm trying to not pretend I am anything but a real human being with real and genuine emotions and feelings. I'm happy. I'm doing well emotionally. But I'm just hanging onto a frayed rope and having trouble with my grip.