A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~
sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!
Happy TribeLife Tuesday!
We are so excited that you have joined us this week and I am pumped to share with you today.
As a strong advocate of living in a modern-day tribe, letting people into your world, and sticking with each other even when it's uncomfortable or hard, I want to discuss something that I find vital to living in community: core values. Please share your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below.
I am a self-proclaimed ambassador of Tribe. I believe in community, I believe it helps make us our best selves. I believe it's worth the discomfort at times, because the reward of having people stand with you, when you need them the most, is priceless. This is the belief that I do my best to walk out every day, week, month and year. But recently this notion of tribal living met it's match: yours truly.
I hate to admit it, but there have been a few instances when I did not want to choose tribe. I wanted to choose self. I wanted to put my needs first. So much so that I had been a little peeved that I was having to make sacrifices for others. When I look back now, I wonder what the heck was wrong with me, but in those moments I was the most the important and those feelings were very real.
Everything in my core believes in selflessness and when an opportunity presented itself, I preferred to not walk out that belief. So of course, I had to walk myself down introspection avenue. I quickly began interrogating myself: "Carrie, why do you feel this way? Is this your best decision? What's the most important thing right now?" This barrage of questions overtook me. But then, a phrase rung out, clear as a bell, cutting through the chaos of endless questioning: “Your mission on the planet is to LOVE WELL!" (Thank you Danny Silk) And just like that, the fog clears and I know exactly where I am. After such a strong statement I had one option: to SHOW UP!
You see, my commitment to community outweighs even my personal desire.
Nowlet me be clear, there is balance and community is not an opportunity to be a martyr. The beauty of the tribe is that you show up for all and all show up for you! At these intersections we get to make decisions that affect the trajectory of our lives. Each crossroad is another opportunity for you drive your stake deeper into your core beliefs. And, after almost a decade of living this way, I want to say it gets easier, but it doesn't. Though, each time you make decisions in line with your core values, the value embeds deeper into you who you are! The challenges get harder but the decisions you make will hopefully get less complicated.
So, take a moment and identify one of your core values.
Do you have it?
Awesome! Comment below what one of your core values is and tell us why it’s so important to you.
For me, vulnerability is a core value. I have a tendency to limit the depth of relationship I will have with someone based on the reciprocation of vulnerability. I won't totally give up on you if you don't bear your soul to me upon our first meeting, but you definitely should be spilling it all by the 2nd meeting! HA! I am 100 percent kidding. Vulnerability takes time and it's worth the wait. Over the course of each friendship, trust is built and at some point we are faced with the decision of vulnerability. At this point we determine the healthiest place for our friendship. Are we shoreline friends? Shallow end friends? Deep end friends? Or Ocean friends?
I am an all or nothing kind of girl, and knowing that the person on the other end of this deal called friendship is as far in as I am is the best gift. Honest, authentic friendships are irreplaceable! Obviously not every friendship will be ocean deep because they can’t be - there's only so much of you to go around and that’s okay. But can we commit to value each friendship individually, without comparison, fully embracing its beauty?
I love humanity and getting to be a part of someone’s life and world is simply the highest honor.
So what is one of your core values? How are you doing with holding up your end of the deal on that value?
Thank you so much for reading, I look forward to discussing with you in the comments below.