This will be the fourth time in my adult life that I will pick up everything I own and leave everything familiar behind and start over somewhere completely new.
And once again, I am excited about the new adventure. But nostalgic about the life I will leave behind.
It's been a difficult week for me. JB finished a trying three week rotation and then found out about this trip. There is so much going on in our lives right now: selling our condo, training for a triathlon, John going out of town, a difficult rotation, preparing to move across the world, a three week trip, a dog with an injury, oh and two little boys to take care of. Add to that the emotions of preparing to say good bye, yet again, and I think it just toppled me over a bit.
My buddy Kristi sent me an excerpt from her devotional this morning.
I am the Potter; you are the clay. I designed you before the foundation of the world. I arrange the events of each day to form you into this preconceived pattern. My everlasting Love is at work in every event of your life. On some days your will and Mine flow smoothly together. You tend to feel in control of your life when our wills are in harmony. On other days you feel as if you are swimming upstream, against the current of My purposes. When that happens, stop and seek My Face. The opposition you feel may be from Me, or it may be from the evil one.
Talk with Me about what you are experiencing. Let my Spirit guide you through treacherous waters. As you move through the turbulent stream with me, let circumstances mold you into the one I desire you to be. Say yes to your Potter as you go through this day.
Kristi's email not only encouraged me but reminded me that my journey will be so much easier in 2010 than it would be decades previously. I will have skype and email and great phone deals. I will be able to talk, every day if I want, to my parents and in-laws and friends even if we have to negotiate the eight hour time difference.
But I will miss this place.
I will miss walking out my front door or opening the windows on a windy night and hearing the wind bouncing off the waves in Choctawhatchee Bay. I will miss the steady stream of visitors who frequented our house on their way from here to there. I will miss the nursery that I waited until the last minute to prepare -- the nursery we had waited so many years to have. I will miss my friends across the street and around the block. The dirt path in the front yard that Scrubs has claimed as a Frisbee track. Wooded trails perfect for running my pup off leash. I'll miss the new women I have met in MOPs and Bible Study. I'll miss have Dr. G. for a doctor. The weather. The beautiful Emerald Coast. Destin Commons. Publix. Aaaah sweet Publix.
And most of all I will miss the wonderful women who have so completely blown me away with their friendship, love, acceptance, encouragement, and support over the last three years. In just the last few days I have been reminded yet again how integral these women have been to my surviving here. Amidst a sea of stresses, I had lunch with Andrea yesterday and felt free to let the tears come in regards to how many things I needed to do and how little of me there is to go around. And then this morning, a phone call, and as if God told her to, it was Jodi-the-magnificent, calling to offer to take Scrubs to dog camp for me on Friday. She couldn't have known that I had just given this stress to the Lord, overwhelmed with how I could get him there and get everything in the van that we needed for our trip.
Just two examples of the people that have been my family for the last three years.
And family. More nostalgia welling up inside of me. I know Turkey is the right place for us. I feel peace with our decision. And I am looking forward to the beautiful house we will get there and the new people we will meet and the experience of living in another country and the family feel of a base set apart from all we hold dear. But my family. My loved ones. I am grieving the fact that we will be eight hours ahead of them and that our time for talking will be small. If JB goes out of town, finding someone to drop in and help me, won't be nearly as easy. Sure our family is ten hours away right now. But ten hours won't even get them there by plane a few months from now. I wish I could have it all. I wish I could have them live right next door and John not deploy and the whole thing.
But I can't.
And so tonight, I am excited. But I am sad. For the things I'll miss and the people we won't get to see.
On, to new adventures.
5 comments:
Would the except Kristie sent by any chance be from the devotional book 'Jesus Calling'? I don't have it yet, but I've heard excerpts from it and this sounds like something that you would hear in your conversation with the Lord. Just curious!
Yes I am sorry! I meant to reference it!
Thanks for that heartfelt post. I really appreciated the way you expressed the bittersweet emotions around moving. My husband and I are moving our family this summer, and although it's only 40 minutes away from our current house, it's farther from family and I'm so torn about leaving a town and a home that I've loved for six years. Thanks, once again, for sharing your heart with your readers.
Wendi,
I can definitely understand your feelings. We've lived in Germany almost two years and it is still hard. I told Joan just the other day that I was never so relieved as when we got on the plane to Germany and had all the HHG, express mail, and storage packs behind us. It is an incredible amount of work moving overseas. I have loved getting to experience another culture and travel to places I never would have otherwise, but I really miss my family, friends, and the familiarity of my own country. While we've been here I've had cousins marry and grandparents die and I haven't been able to be apart of those celebrations. I'm happy to let you pick my brain with any questions you might have about the PCS and how we did it with a 15 month old.
On a completely separate note, my husband wondered if you guys would mind some visitors (us) after you got moved and settled? No rush!!! We have been to Istanbul and Ephesus, but would love to see more of Turkey some day.
Love,
Jenny
P.S- We skype with the Grandparents all the time, and I call my parents during nap time every day. You will find a way to stay in touch. :)
I hear your feelings, Wendi. I feel this way every time I move... bittersweet. But many adventures are to come for you in Turkey! And I will come visit you!
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