Thursday, March 11, 2021

Farming Hoses

Before I became a farm”her”, I had zero appreciation for hoses. How happy they could make you. Or how out of your mind they can make you. Or how expensive they are. Or how quickly they can get a hole. Or how important it is to purchase thicker hose. (Very hard concept for a cheapskate.)

Example of hose crisis: you have to run water to your sheep in the pasture. You get four hoses all lined up only to discover that hose three has an end that is slightly dented.
That slight dent means they won’t connect. So you swap it with hose four but it is also dented (which was why someone had picked it to be the end of the line) and now you can’t get water to your sheep without finding a whole ‘nuther hose.
That’s challenging enough on flat land. But we have tons of rolling hills.
Pulling hose and winding it up to move it is a better workout then CrossFit. Seriously. Don’t pay CrossFit. Pay me and come pull hose here at the Bauernhof.
Other lessons learned:
1. I still don’t understand how a very nice circle of hose can end up tangled.
2. Cold hose means it doesn’t cooperate even more than before.
3. Frozen hoses = really stinky.
4. Hoses a few feet short will make you scream up at the sky and do some sort of rain dance before trudging off for another hose somewhere. However, that hose won’t connect because we all know the end of the house is dented.
Oh and completely unrelated lesson learned: throwing a shovel of crappy hay into the wind is a bad idea. Don’t do it.

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