This is the email my husband sent to his team. He is the co-medical director of an Emergency Department in East Tennessee. I asked him if I could reprint it, as I thought it would help people understand what things are like for him right now. I have shared with some of you personally that he's been quite close to burnout. Here is why:
April 25, 2020
We have had pay cuts, because our volume is down.
We had had to cut hours, because our volume is down.
We are getting rid of scribes, because our volume is down.
We are cutting nurse, radiology tech, lab tech, and phlebotomist hours, because our volume is down.
We can go hours with seeing only a few patients.
But then we will see fifteen patients in two hours… on our own… all with a lot less support than we used to have.
We are seeing fewer patients, but the patients we are seeing are sicker than normal.
The stress is higher.
We have to wear gloves and masks and face shields for every patient, and we have to get into full PPE for some.
Our hospital’s chief medical officer has been hospitalized and intubated due to COVID.
Did we get exposed today? Did we bring COVID home to our kids yesterday?
Everyone at work has questions and fears about COVID… our patients, our nurses, our lab techs, our administration.
Everyone at home has questions and fears about COVID… our spouses, our children, our friends, our Facebook acquaintances.
Some are asking our opinion as medical experts. They are hanging on our every word. Their fear is heightened or lessened with our response.
Others are doubting everything we say, because this has political and social ramifications, and they have preconceived doubts and skepticism and they watch YouTube and read blogs.
Everyone who knows me, knows that I am pretty much a perpetual optimist. Nothing ever really gets me down.
But I am worn out.
I am tired of answering so many versions of the same question.
I am tired of having my knowledge and motives and my ethics irrationally challenged.
I am tired of having to read through so many emails to make sure I don’t miss a vital update to protocol.
I am tired of needing to go in the house through the back entrance so I can do an immediate scrub down in the shower and put my clothes in the wash before I hug my kids and wife.
And my ears are sore from this mask.
I am not burned out, but I am close.
I know that if I am feeling it, others probably are too.
We are probably going to have to change the schedule multiple times before this is done.
We are probably going to have some really busy and chaotic days before this is done.
We are probably going to have more frustrations before this is done.
Hang in there.
This will not last forever.
This is not the new normal.
This is a season, and it will pass.
I don’t enjoy this at all.
But this is what we are here for.
This is why we chose medicine.
This is what we do.
And I am so glad you are on my team.
Please take care of yourselves.
Let me know if you need anything.
1 comment:
100% what us physicians are feeling (and this from someone who is not on the frontlines in the ED but we still have renal failure, poorly managed diabetes, people who die from hypertension and stroke, and women birthing their babies who are looking to us for help). It's so exhausting. The emails never stop. It will never be the same post-COVID (if there is a post-COVID time). We hope that our kids don't lose one or both physician parents or that we don't go down at the same time. We pray we are strong enough to survive this storm.
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