To my homeschooled sons

To my little homeschooled first graders,

You dear boys o' mine do not know how good you have it.

You have to do schoolwork for four hours a day -- nearly half as long as your attending-school counterparts.

You do not have to do any homework.

Like, none at all.

You get breaks to play Legos and go outside.

You can take a day off in the middle of the week because a family member is in town or because we want to take a field trip.

You can eat food outside of snack and lunch time and sit on the porch to do your reading.

You can talk to geese and ducks and pigs and sheep while you study your spelling words.

You can relax on the sofa without your shirt on and be taught phonics with your feet up on a coffee table.

But alas ... neither of you seem to not find these facts very exciting. When I reiterate them to you, you do not exhibit an impressed body language.

Like, not at all.

Obviously there are things you do not get to do, and I do not write this post to in any way say your life is superior. I understand the homeschooling life is not perfect and there are disadvantages to this path we are currently on.

But I do know for a fact that the amount of time you have to invest is less.

The requirements are not as stringent.

And yet the moaning ...

and the groaning ...

and the lamenting ...

and the tears!

And I cannot help but feel like a big ol' task master. I really dislike that each time I walk into your room you both visibly bristle, knowing that I am taking you from something fun to something you do not deem as fun.

(Even if I try to make the assignment fun by including Skittles or glue or food.)

Here is my daily lecture:

"Would you like to go to school and be gone twice as long every day?"

You both say no.

Then I say, "Do you know that it is against the law for you to not get an education?"

You both combine your replies to come out something like, "Really?"

(Even though I just told you both this same thing the day or hour before.)

"Yes," I say. "If you don't go to school, then we are breaking the law and if I  break the law I can go to jail."

Why don't your faces seem to care that your mother could go to jail?

Listen, I know no kid likes school. But I think that we have chosen to educate you in an environment which equals half the commitment while wearing half the clothes should count for something.

So all I ask is that you remember that you don't have it so bad. That I want to be your fun mom in the midst of being your required-to-teach-you-teacher. That you try to limit your complaining just a bit.

Now, put your feet up on the coffee table, embrace your shirtless self, and let's get back to those math problems.

Sons o' mine.