Thursday, December 03, 2015

The OTHER side of adoption

A recent prayer of mine has been
for God to direct me to people who need Him.

And that I could be his hands and feet on Earth.

In short, I've been praying that He will direct me to someone who needs a kind word, a hug, a gift ... whatever it is. I've told the Lord:

If you tell me what to do and who to do it for, I will do it

The other day I was pulling out of a parking lot, and I felt that still, small voice speak to me. It's hard to know for sure that it is God sometimes. Is it just me thinking it? Is it just me telling me what to do? I'm not sure you can ever know for sure, but I feel that if you are really trying to hear God's voice ... you will know when you are being nudged.

There was a woman sitting in the car next to me, furiously writing something on a piece of paper. I had already pulled out of my spot when I felt God telling me to pull back in and go and talk to her.

So I did.

I handed her a small gift and just said, with courage I wasn't sure I had, "God told me to give this to you."

She started sobbing and within seconds she was telling me everything in her life that had recently gone wrong.

But here is what is even more amazing ... the main thing that was plaguing her and causing her so many tears was that her step-daughter, addicted to drugs, had had a baby the night before, and she was placing the baby up for adoption.*

And this woman -- a grandmother -- was grieving. She was grieving the loss of this little baby in her life. She didn't want her daughter to place the baby for adoption. She didn't want to watch her granddaughter go to another family to live.

All I could think was: Okay God. It really was YOU talking. You aren't going to send just anyone to this woman's car. You pick me. An adopted mom. A woman who can encourage her that placing this baby is okay. I can tell her that I am an adopted mother who loves my adopted son with every fiber of my being. And that this baby will have a good home and a good life.

And so I did. I told her that I would pray for her. Pray for this baby. And that this was GOD'S BABY. This child would grow up loved and cherished, and that she had to remember this child doesn't belong to a person. She belongs to God. Whatever her daughter decided to do, God would be there.

As we said good bye and I walked away, I became keenly aware that adoption, while beautiful and wonderful, is not a one-sided coin. While there is one family celebrating the arrival of a new life into their home, there is often another family grieving the departure. There are painful circumstances that require a parent to place their child into the arms of another. It isn't as simple as I or anyone else make it sound. There is grief. There is hardship. There is sadness. There is longing. There is pain.

And there is beauty. And love. And happiness. And beauty.

I thank the Lord for allowing me to be His hands and feet on this particular day. But more than that, I thank Him for the reminder of the families on the other side of this wonderful gift.

*I wrote on my Blog the other day about how I wanted to expand on the phrase "give them up." It is truly just semantics, but I encourage you, when discussing adoption, to use the phrase "placed" instead of "gave up." Biological parents are NOT giving up their children. They are GIVING their child the best life they can. It is a very clear distinction that I believe needs to be made in our society.


constance said...

Thank you. I have been thinking hard on these brave women who give their child to another family to raise. It takes a very brave heart to put your child's welfare before one's own desires. Not unlike our Father who placed Jesus with Mary and Joseph so that He might save us all.

AW said...

I love this. I've seen this on the "other side". It is heartbreaking, even though the birth mother knows they're doing the right thing for the child. There will never be anything else in the world that will fill that hole except Jesus. Even then there is still grief.