We dealt with infertility for five long years.
So when we adopted Isaac and then found out that we were, miraculously, pregnant with Elijah, a friend of my Mom's gave us a framed photo.
I've taken a picture of it and included it above.
It was a beautiful picture, but we had two boys. And I knew I wasn't going to have any more children. We were still in complete shock that we had TWO boys. We knew Elijah was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and we were perfectly content with our two boy family.
We lived on Eglin Air Force Base at the time. My friend Joia had just had a little blonde-headed girl, and so I asked her if she would like the picture.
The picture, while beautiful, caused me pain. It reminded me of the China adoption we had pulled out of. It reminded me of our years of infertility. Like a few other things, I just had to remove them from my house so that I didn't think about them all the time.
And then, somehow, I found myself pregnant again.
Abigail was born. And as she grew, she was blonde. Very blonde.
And suddenly, I started thinking about that framed photo I had given to Joia. It popped into my mind all the time. I wanted to see it again. Was it as beautiful as I remember? Did it look like Abigail like I remembered in my mind?
I felt terrible asking Joia if I could have it back. But finally I decided that she was a good enough friend to understand my dilemma. I emailed her and asked her if she was attached to the picture. And if she was, could she at least provide me with some of the print details so I could find a copy of it.
Joia sent it to me in the mail! She said that it had hung in her daughter's room but that she wasn't particularly attached to it and that she felt honored to give it back to me at a better time in my life.
I received it last week, and as I looked at the blonde mother holding her blonde daughter and praying together, I couldn't help but cry. I'm not a crier, but I stood there just weeping at the amazing God I serve.
My own doctor told me, "I would never have given you a chance at having a biological child."
And today I have FOUR amazing miracles.
I pray for those of you waiting for your miracle today. Please believe me when I say that I was NOT the person who was going to have four children. Anyone who knew me "back then" will tell you that their hope for a house filled with Kitsteiner children had basically shrunk to zero.
But today, this photo ... a photo I would never have dreamed could find an appropriate place in my house ... is hung.
Thank you Joia.
Thank you Jesus.