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| Abigail's friend Reagan recently turned 16. They went and did pottery and had a fun lunch and snack! All of Abigail's friends are tenth graders (a year older than her.) |
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| Reagan, Ella, and Abigail at the back end. Lily and the other Regan (also called "Louise" in the front row.) |
| The Birthday girl: Reagan! |
Abigail had the opportunity to go to Lily's 15th birthday. Here are a few photos from their fun time:
....
busy here. I am on a New Member Committee so last week I made 18 phone calls to introduce ourselves and interview potential new members to our cooperative. We had a graduation, a graduation rehearsal, and a dinner for Tusculum supporting the memory of Chuck Bowlin. It was just a lot!
While school is mostly done now, little Pomegranate is still finishing up at the Kotynskis. She will be done at the end of the month. Our olders are mostly completely done although all of them will do math throughout the summer.
Here is a little update on all of the kiddos:
Isaac: Isaac is now 17 and is working at Yoder's almost 30 hours a week! It's a great job for him, and he seems to really enjoy it. I think it's fantastic that he can practice in an area like customer service as I think his life will involve a lot of "schmoozing" -- especially if he goes into the Arts. He is also still taking piano, voice, and guitar. Theater is mostly finishing up for the summer. He will be attending a theatre camp at Liberty University this summer with Randy Belt's (John's co-director at the ER) daughter Rylee. I am super excited for him. Generally, Isaac has become a pretty easy kid to parent. We had some challenging growing pains when he was 14-15, but mostly, now, he is enjoyable. He also has a girl that he likes :)
Elijah "Sidge": Sidge is 16. He still takes Karate two days a week. I think he will probably get his black belt by the time he graduates high school. He is working on the farm, hunting, and also working for other people (Daniel S., Aunt Betsy, Gabe, Grampa) sometimes. He is now driving as well which really helps here -- even though they share a vehicle. Sidge will be taking full-time college classes this fall which will be a very big change for him. His classes will be on Mondays and Wednesdays so he will have time to work on the farm and get some outdoor, hunting time in. While he does enjoy playing his allotted time of games on his phone each day (30 minutes), he is otherwise listening to hunting or some political podcasts (he likes Charlie Kirk) or reading. He is soon to leave for Columbia on a mission trip which is super exciting!)
Abigail: Abigail will turn 14 in July. She is still very involved in ballet. She probably is my least "liking" of school, and while she is a very good writer, doesn't even enjoy that all that much. She is really gifted with photography and spends time editing those items. She is going to be attending an overnight youth camp in Florida (WITHOUT her brothers as they have theater and mission trip). Abigail LOVES her friends and her social group (including a certain young man :) and is very intentional about her relationships -- something I never saw with the boys.
Hannah: Hannah is 11 and as spirited, spunky, silly, and sweet as ever. She is just a spit-fire and so full of life. She loves ballet, and Ms. LoriAnn asked her to help at the princess and beginner camps this summer. She is super smart and schoolwork comes very easy to her. (If it doesn't, she can easily get frustrated as it isn't "normal" for something to feel hard.) She is very good on the farm as well, and if Sidge can't help us, Hannah is the next one in line to step in. She is the best cook and seamstress in our house and remains incredibly creative (and a bit messy :)
It was a little sad around these parts on Prom Night. Abigail is only 13. She turns 14 in July. But you had to be 14 by April in order to attend the Prom. While I have Abigail in the 7th grade, she is 8th grade age, and all of her friends are 9th grade. All of her friends were attending Prom, and she didn't get to go.
So we decided to try to have a fun girls' night. Joni, Jan, Genevieve and Kari and my girls -- we all went to the Mall in Johnson City and then out for a nice dinner.
I tell you what: I don't like the mall at all. It is totally overwhelming to me. I've really turned into a farmer.
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| Ella, Abigail, Regan, Lily, and another Regan -- these gals have become very dear friends to Abigail. They recently celebrated pink-dress Regan's birthday. |
Kids group up SO SO SO fast. May I try to treasure every moment. Why is this SO hard to do?
I've been doing personality "work" with my kids and my students. While I do not think you should put major "stock" in a category, I think understanding who YOU are and your tendencies but more specifically, the tendencies of others, is SO important.
Here is a link I did MANY years ago discussing what personality John and I are.
So, here I share some of this. More for reference later.
Here is ABIGAIL
ISFJ-T / Introduction
WHO IS A DEFENDER (ISFJ)?
A Defender (ISFJ) is someone with the Introverted, Observant, Feeling, and Judging personality traits. These people tend to be warm and unassuming in their own steady way. They’re efficient and responsible, giving careful attention to practical details in their daily lives.
In their unassuming, understated way, Defenders help make the world go round. Hardworking and devoted, people with this personality type feel a deep sense of responsibility to those around them. Defenders can be counted on to meet deadlines, remember birthdays and special occasions, uphold traditions, and shower their loved ones with gestures of care and support. But they rarely demand recognition for all that they do, preferring instead to operate behind the scenes.
This is a capable, can-do personality type, with a wealth of versatile gifts. Though sensitive and caring, Defenders also have excellent analytical abilities and an eye for detail. And despite their reserve, they tend to have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships. Defenders are truly more than the sum of their parts, and their varied strengths shine in even the most ordinary aspects of their daily lives.
Defenders are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging with the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity.
The Gift of Loyalty
Among Defenders’ most distinctive traits is loyalty. Rare is the Defender who allows a friendship or relationship to fade away from lack of effort. Instead, they invest a great deal of energy into maintaining strong connections with their loved ones – and not just by sending “How are you doing?” texts. People with this personality type are known for dropping everything and lending a hand whenever a friend or family member is going through a hard time.
Defenders tend to feel most energized and effective when they’re showing up for someone who needs their help.
Defenders’ sense of loyalty doesn’t stop with their nearest and dearest – it often extends to their communities, their employers, and even family traditions. But the intensity of their commitment and desire to serve can have its downsides. Other people may take advantage of Defenders’ helpful, hardworking nature, leaving them feeling burned out and overworked. And Defenders may feel guilty or stressed when they contemplate changes – even necessary changes – to themselves, their relationships, or the way they’ve done things in the past.
The Highest of Standards For Defenders, “good enough” is rarely good enough. People with this personality type can be meticulous to the point of perfectionism. They take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond and doing everything that they can to exceed others’ expectations.
Defender personalities are known for their humility, and they rarely seek the spotlight.
But what happens when Defenders’ efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated? While Defenders tend to underplay their accomplishments, that doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy recognition – or that they’re fine with being taken for granted. Unless they learn to stand up for themselves, Defenders may find themselves quietly losing their enthusiasm and motivation, eventually becoming resentful toward the people who just don’t seem to appreciate them.
Showing Up for Others – and Themselves: Although they’re Introverted, Defenders have a deeply social nature. Thanks to their ability to remember the details of other people’s lives, Defenders have a special talent for making their friends and acquaintances feel seen, known, and cherished. Few personality types can match Defenders’ ability to choose just the right gift for any occasion, whether large or small.
Defender Weaknesses
the world.
Friendships: Given how warm, supportive, and generous Defenders are, it’s not surprising that others gravitate toward them as friends. But while people with this personality type value and even cherish their friendships, they don’t find it easy to bond with just anyone.
Defenders tend to be private and a bit protective of themselves, and it can take them a while to feel comfortable enough to open up to someone new. This explains why most of Defenders’ friendships don’t start as random encounters on a wild night out, but rather through comfortable and consistent contact – for example, at school or at work. Defenders appreciate the opportunity to deepen their connection with another person over time, with the two friends gradually sharing more and more of themselves with each other.
Getting Along:
Deep down, many Defenders long to be liked and accepted. This is a natural desire, and it helps explain why people with this personality type are known for being such thoughtful, reliable friends. Defenders care about what other people think of them, so they strive to bring their best selves to all of their relationships, including their friendships.
Defenders know that being a good friend takes effort – and they’re more than willing to put in the work.
This trait tends to make Defenders exceptional friends. If taken too far, however, it can lead them to fall into the trap of people-pleasing. Some personality types have no trouble expressing an unpopular opinion or posing an awkward question – but not Defenders. Defenders are reluctant to rock the boat, whether that means asking a friend to pay back a loan or disagreeing with where everyone else wants to go for dinner.
In most cases, this behavior stems from a fear of being rejected. While most Defenders are perfectly comfortable having a small, tight-knit circle of friends, they hate the idea of risking the disapproval of even one of those friends. The problem is that, over time, people-pleasing can cause Defenders to lose touch with their sense of self and their ability to make decisions on their own terms.
Seeking Balance
Few personality types can match Defenders’ fervent desire to be there for their friends through thick and thin. Ever ready to offer advice, help, and reassurance, Defenders take pride in the fact that people turn to them in times of need – in fact, showing up for their friends in this way offers people with this personality type a sense of purpose in life.
Defenders appreciate their friends deeply, and they aren’t afraid to show it – but it may be difficult for them to ask for that same appreciation in return.
In return, all Defenders wish for is loyalty and respect – and, in an ideal world, a bit of recognition for all that they do. But even though many Defenders crave validation and support from their friends, they tend to be too proud to ask for it, just as they may not be comfortable asking for the help that they need. Fortunately, with time, many Defenders learn that anyone who takes advantage of their generous, altruistic nature isn’t a true friend.
An Inspired Bond
Defenders can become attached to their visions of how things “should” be. In the world of friendship, they may believe – consciously or not – that they should be completely selfless. But when they ease up on this expectation, balancing their friends’ needs with their own, people with this personality type can bring the full magnitude of their gifts to their friendships. And this helps them enjoy the sort of meaningful, enduring bonds that make life all the more worthwhile.
Career Paths
Defenders are often the backbone of their workplace: reliable, hardworking, and always ready to lend a hand. People with this personality type take pride in getting the job done and getting it done well, rarely cutting corners or balking at a time-consuming task. This unshakable work ethic, combined with a genuine desire to be of service to others, makes Defenders invaluable in a range of careers.
Shining Behind the Scenes
Few personality types can match Defenders’ deep appreciation of what it means to play a supporting role. Rather than seeking out the spotlight for themselves, Defenders genuinely enjoy helping and uplifting others. It’s no surprise, then, that Defenders tend to seek out workplaces that are collaborative and team-oriented rather than competitive and high pressure.
With their natural humility, Defender personalities tend to feel especially fulfilled by careers that allow them to facilitate others’ growth, healing, and progress. Teaching is a prime example of this, as are speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, medicine, and social work. Defenders’ patience and ability to stay present in the moment enable them to be incredibly attuned to the needs of the people they are serving.
Defenders are motivated, consistent workers, rarely losing sight of the ways in which their daily tasks can benefit others.
No matter what it says on their business card, many Defenders approach their work with an eye toward helping others in practical ways. People with this personality type tend to excel at customer service, with a particular gift for listening to concerns, calming frustrations, and seeing things through to a clear resolution. These skills can also translate well into roles in human resources, IT support, hospitality, retail, office administration, library sciences, and pretty much any job that involves fielding and helping answer people’s questions.
Never Missing a Beat
Some personality types lose steam in the face of a tedious, multifaceted task, but not Defenders. Defenders’ attentiveness to detail is among their greatest strengths, and detail-oriented fields like law, accounting, data analysis, and research can be right up their alley. What’s especially notable, however, is how Defenders stay connected to the human dimension of this work, rarely forgetting the impact that their spreadsheets and memos might have on real people.
Meticulous and socially oriented, Defenders have a talent for remembering things about other people – a talent that can help them connect with a customer, bolster a faltering business relationship, or simply brighten a colleague’s day.
Despite their many gifts, Defender personalities are unlikely to demand recognition or ask for promotions, preferring to let their work speak for itself. Given their respect for tradition and security, Defenders generally have no problem with the idea of moving along in a structured hierarchy, trusting that their bosses will promote them if and when the time is right. But even the most patient Defender can become frustrated if their contributions seem to be continually overlooked. When Defenders do take the leap into management roles, they often find that their strengths are surprisingly well suited to building a cohesive, productive, and effective team.
Defenders can be loyal to a fault, and they may feel guilty at the idea of moving on from their employer – even if it just isn’t working out. But as long as they put themselves in a work environment that appreciates and takes full advantage of their many strengths and talents, Defenders can use their determination, precision, and altruistic energy to do even more good in this world.
Workplace Habits
Wherever they may be on the career ladder, Defenders share the goal of putting good service and dedication above all else. People with this personality type can always be relied on for their kindness and ability to listen carefully to concerns – and to find ways to resolve them. Win-win situations are Defenders’ bread and butter, and no other personality type can quite match the satisfaction that they take in finding practical, clear resolutions to day-to-day challenges.
Defender Subordinates
As employees, Defenders exemplify the strength of humble dedication. Relied on and respected for their patience and commitment, people with this personality type really only need one reward for their work: the satisfaction of knowing that they’ve helped someone. And if that person expresses a bit of gratitude, so much the better.
At times, Defenders’ radical humility can hold them back. They tend to be unwilling to play up their achievements, often for fear of creating unnecessary friction. Unfortunately, this can make it all too easy for their bosses to overlook them when opportunities for promotion come along.
Defenders’ humility is a strength – but people with this personality type may struggle to get new opportunities unless they learn to take at least some credit for all the work that they do.
Defenders’ loyalty and dependability often makes them invaluable to their bosses. In general, people with this personality type can be trusted to carry out their tasks precisely and without complaint. But Defenders’ aversion to rocking the boat may make it difficult for them to correct or disagree with their bosses or coworkers, even when it’s necessary to do so in order to avoid wasted time and energy. Fortunately, with time, many Defenders learn to express their opinions (and corrections) in a gentle, nonjudgmental way.
Defender Colleagues
For Defenders, an ideal work environment is founded on working together with colleagues rather than competing against them, with everyone collaborating toward the shared goal of getting the job done. Close-knit and supportive teams are what Defender personalities enjoy most, allowing them to express their altruistic spirit among people who rely on their dedication and warmth.
Defenders build relationships with their colleagues naturally – a skill that they use to keep things running smoothly, not to ingratiate themselves with others.
These strengths can become drawbacks, however, as Defenders’ aversion to conflict and their desire to help can be abused by less scrupulous colleagues. Instead of only asking for help when they need it, some colleagues may heap extra work on Defenders’ desks, knowing that Defender colleagues have a hard time saying no. Unless they learn to set boundaries, Defenders can feel overburdened and stressed – and not a little taken advantage of.
Defender Managers
Defenders don’t always raise their hands for leadership opportunities, but their interpersonal skills and work ethic can lend themselves quite well to managing others. As managers, Defenders tend to be warm and approachable, always willing to answer questions and always ready to step up and help. Having no real desire to exercise power over others, Defender personalities prefer to work alongside their subordinates, keeping things running smoothly and minimizing conflict.
Defenders bring a team spirit to their work, and they aim to impart this spirit to the people they manage.
Defender managers care about efficiency and effectiveness, but never at the expense of maintaining a positive relationship with their subordinates. Change can be a challenge for bosses with this personality type – including the none-too-pleasant change of firing someone who isn’t working out. At times, Defender managers may sink a bit too much of their energy into an underperforming employee – but they’d much rather make this mistake than the mistake of giving up on someone who just needed another chance.
Conclusion
What you have read so far is just an introduction into the complexities of the caring, devoted, and incredibly loyal Defender personality type. Along the way, you may have muttered to yourself, “Wow, this is so accurate, it’s a little creepy,” or “Finally, someone understands me!” You may have even asked, “How do they know more about me than the people I’m closest to do?”
If you feel understood right now, it’s because you are. Years of research have given us deep insights into the unique strengths and challenges of Defenders like you. We understand your altruism and your can-do attitude, but we also know the vulnerabilities of your personality type, including the fear that you’ll fall short of your potential.
Defenders’ gifts include generosity, patience, and determination – but they aren’t people who just want to hear what makes them great. Defenders are committed to actually using these gifts to become better people and be of service to others.
That’s why we’ve made it our mission to help Defenders like you not only appreciate your strengths but also make the most of them. Learning about your personality type is fascinating, but there’s a deeper purpose to it, too – because self-understanding is what helps you ensure that you’re putting your gifts to full use.
So here’s our question for you, Defender: Are you ready to take full advantage of your unique strengths? If so, your Premium Profile will give you new insights into your personality, your relationships, your career path, and your life’s mission. This is the journey of a lifetime – and you’ll find everything you need to get started by moving on to the next section.
1. If you won a million dollars, what would you buy first? I would buy, wait, hold on, I had it. I would buy a puppy.
At some "pointe" I'll move this post back to July 16th. The day my oldest daughter turned eleven. But for now, since I am WAY late in wishing her a happy birthday, I'll leave it here.
She is eleven and the picture above truly captures her biggest passion: BALLET. She also likes birds/nature some but mostly, nearly everything she wants to do surrounds ballet.
Abigail Turns Eight
Abigail Turns Seven
Abigail Turns Six
Abigail Turns Five
Abigail Turns Four
Abigail Turns Three
Abigail Turns Two
Abigail Turns One
Abigail just finished her first week of ballet intensives. Following a week of very hard work every day from 11-5, the girls (and some guys -- including Isaac who helped partner!) put on a performance. I managed to get videos of the dances that had a lot of people who are special to us in them. I don't share links to dances of other kids without permission, but because these were already performed in front of an audience, I feel they are free for me to share. Here are the links!
Modern dance (includes niece Ana and our dear friend Maryah)
Partnering (includes Abigail, Isaac, and our niece, Kari)
Ana and Partner (our niece Ana partnering with a young man from ballet)
Gabe with Partner (nephew Gabe partnering with Ay-la)
Class dance (features Abigail and niece, Kari)
Kari (group dance)
Ana dance (includes Maryah)
Abigail's group dance (includes friends Johnna Beth, Ella, and Sarai)
Older girl group dance (includes Ana and Maryah)
