It's 3:22am. If I am calculating correctly, that is 7:22pm back on the East Coast.
I can't sleep.
I had a migraine last night before bed which really screwed up my nighttime routine. I am not complaining though. I haven't had a really bad migraine since we moved here. And even last night I wouldn't qualify the one I experienced as really bad in comparison with others I have been wrought with during the last ten years or so of my life and primarily the last few years of inferrtility treatments and post-Elijah-hormones. I am thankful they have dissipated in recent months and that their intensity has lessened as well.
But what I am thinking about this morning, isn't my head.
I'm thinking about home. And I find it a bit ironic but just as I feel like we are home, I am missing home.
This weekend, I really started feeling like our house was home. When we got off the rotator from Germany and hit the tarmac in Turkey, I looked out the window of the plane and felt a bit of relief.
No, it wasn't as beautiful as Germany. But it was home.
Then, as we unpacked and moved out of our suitcases, we got a few more things done around our home. We got a few more pictures hung. JB did a few and the "wall-hanging-Turkish-guys" came and did a few. Since we live in one of the new homes, if we can't hang it with a regulatory very cruddy little wall hook, we have to call maintenance. Turkish men then show up in our little bits of Turkish and their little bits of English we explain what we need done. They hung our big mirror at the top of the stairs and put some wooden slats above two of the windows so that JB could drill into them for curtain rods.
Almost everything has a "place" after about 2.5 months in this country. Not bad considering we know many people still waiting on their bits of home to arrive from the U.S. No, we don't have our van, but otherwise, all of our "things" are here now and settled in their new spots.
But it's a bit ironic that just as I feel like this is home, I am missing home.
And I realize it isn't a particular place I am missing. Instead it's people I am missing. Voices. Skype is great but sometimes inconvenient. And the time difference is so frustrating. Sunday morning I just wanted to talk to Kristi. To my cousin Sarah. To my Mom. But the time difference meant that it wasn't until my day was winding down that they were even awake.
That feels isolating some days.
Don't get me wrong. I love it here. I do. I love our house. I love the safety of the Base. I love that I trust everyone living around me. I love that JB is home more than he is gone. I love that he has his weekends free. I love our backyard and our front yard (isn't it strange that backyard is one word and front yard is two?) and the glorious weather we are currently experiencing.
And even though I haven't lived by family since I was 18 years old, I miss having a grandparent that I can call and just ask to watch the kids for a bit. I miss chatting whenever I wanted with my best buddy Kristi. I miss dinners with family. I miss familiarity.
I miss "home." Wherever that is.
And I'm excited. Because in just a matter of days, I am going to get a taste of it. Gramas are coming!!!! My mom and Joni are coming. All the way from the good old U.S. of A!
A quick caveat: My mom is, obviously, the grama of my boys. JB's mom is, obviously, the grama of our boys. But so is Joni. While they just call her "Joni" she is a grama to them too. Not only is she Isaac's birth grama, but a grama is someone who loves your kids as much as you do and wants to hear all the stories you have about them. And Joni is that to them. She will always be that to them. My boys are so blessed to have so many people who love them. Joni would be loving my boys whether or not Isaac joined our family. But how lucky we are to have an extra bit of connection.
She and my Mom are flying in to visit and staying for TWO weeks! I cannot wait. I am thrilled. As a bit of protection, I won't reveal the exact day of their arrival. But it is soon enough that I am getting excited.
And it is making the missing home thing feel not as deep as it otherwise were.
Home is people.
And people are coming to Turkey!