Thursday, March 27, 2008

Advice request

Two days ago, our car seat arrived via UPS man from a dear friend. Then, yesterday, the pack-n-play showed up on our door. What great blessings! Both gifts were sort of a "reality check." These are some significant pieces. And we have them at our house. These pieces indicate that we plan to have a little body occupy them. Holy cow!

And . . . thanks to Amy's comment on our blog, we've started to realize that we are probably somewhere between 3-6 weeks away from bringin a tiny tike home. Amy, don't worry. I'm just giving you a hard time. (If you missed it, Amy reminded us that five weeks would be a maximum time frame. It could happen a lot earlier.) Way to go Amy! (I only tease you because I know you can take it.)

Last night JB said he kept waking up and thinking about the fact that we were going to be parents. He said he was starting to make lists of things that needed to be done before he got here. When he left today, he suggested I start "puttering" in the nursery, making a little collection of items we would want to take with us. Realistically, this could be happening in the next couple of weeks. Holy cow! Holy cow! Holy cow!

And that's where my request for advice comes into play. Unlike some parents who drive to the hospital twenty minutes down the road, and can return home for necessary items on a daily basis, we are going to drive across the state to pick up our little XY. We hope to only be gone about 4 days, staying 1-2 days at my parents' home after he leaves the hospital and before making the drive back to Destin. However, we have to be flexible as his needs and adoption needs may change.

So the question: what items do I have to have with me during that time? Please remember that I am an organized person. I don't want to pack eighteen bags. I want to know the things that are mandatory. I want to eliminate any superfluous items. I also know that I can buy some things there but want to try to avoid that.

Okay all you moms who try to so hard not to throw too much advice at new moms -- fire away. Your advice has been requested. My need: items that are needed within the first one week of birth.



Rachel and Hans said...

I obviously have NO advice about the baby stuff, but I'm sure Hans will agree that you should pack SNACKS for the car for you and John! :-) That's all the help I can offer on this subject, Wendi!

Flakymn said...

Rach, you are funny. Okay, so what snacks?!

tammy said...

I've been following your story for a few motnhs now, while I this is my first comment, I've been quietly cheering you on from the sidelines. I am involved with adoption from several angles, and have helped hundreds of couples bring home their much wanted baby through adoption and this is the question I get asked the most! I have a very detailed list that I would be happy to share with you, just shoot me an email and I'll send it to you. Also, if you're interested, I just started a blog which so far has been focused on a recent adoption placement. I was with the birth mom through labor, delivery, and placement. While no two placements are the same, the emotions that arise (for all parties) are so raw and personal. You may find the story interesting. It was an amazing experience. You can read about it here:

Wishing you blessings and dreams come true.


Flakymn said...

Tammy, welcome!!!

I would love your list of "things" but don't have your email? Mine is!

Anonymous said...

Hi Wendi!
Yes, the time is certainly ticking, and you may be making that trip sooner than you think. I don't have a suggestion for your list, but am interested in reading Tammy's blog...but I tried typing that in and got no results. Anyone else have difficulty?

Rae said...

I too have been following your blog and not sure if i've posted in the past or not. I actually was getting on to post a comment about your being tall post. I too am tall, 6ft but for me it wasn't the height that got me it was that i'm skinny. The comments said to me were just brutal! But anyway, i don't want to hijack the current post you did.
My husband and I also adopted, 3 years ago this past December. As far as necessaties, each hospital is different but we were adviced to bring just an outfit to take our son home in. They adviced us that will have enough laundry to do once home let the hospital take care of it while there. We also brought no bottles or diapers. They provided all of that for us and some to take home.

but like i said each hospital is different. I'd make sure to take some binkies with you tho. A different kinds. The hospital our son was born at provided them. The one our daughter was born at didn't.

I could go on forever on this. Including the emotional strains, etc but i think your adoption is going to be completely different then ours. But if you'd like more information by all means drop me an email. Like Tammy i've adviced others on how to handle things, etc of course remembering each adoption is different. But if only others would have told me what i could expect i think things would have been a lot easier.

Good luck and keep bloggin girl!!

Anonymous said...

I would say diapers, a going home outfit, carseat, cloth diapers for spit up rags to protect your clothing for when you burp him after feeding, receiving blankets as new babies love to be wrapped up, you can also buy a little mirror for the car that will allow you see into the backseat from the front. A camera would be good.


Flakymn said...

Tammy's address worked for me.

Flakymn said...

Thanks rae. My email is Whatever you have is great!

Anonymous said...

It's been almost 9 yrs since I brought home a little one. However, I'm feeling that motherly instinct and I have to put in my 2 cents :) Since you'll be there a few days:
1) Formula
2) bottles (I always used the playtex disposables)
3) newborn size pacifier
4) diapers (duh) - just bring a whole package
5) a change of clothes for about 12 days.
6) bath soap
7) bath towel
8) something to clean the circumcision (sp) and the belly button. (every dr seems to do the c different)
9) warm blanket
10) receiving blankets (plan on 2 a day)
(can you tell how much fun I'm having? :))
11) burp towels
12) a shade thingy for your car window (after all, you're in FL)

OK, you get the idea. Most of all relax, if you forget something you can always buy it at a corner Wal-Mart.
I'm getting so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura said...

Everyone's suggestions are great. I'd also recommend bringing a few kinds of bottles and newborn nipples. Point is, I wouldn't buy lots of any one kind, but maybe one of several kinds. Babies fall asleep while feeding if they have to work too hard for too long, which requires heroic measures on your part to keep them awake. You'll know what I mean! Eventually, we found that Avent bottles were the absolute best for Cady. Likewise, don't get too many of one kind of diaper. You'll need about 10 a day to start. It sounds strange, but some babies have "Huggies butts" and some babies have "Pampers butts" (these are our pediatrician's words, not mine). But she was so right--Cady was most definitely a Huggies girl! God bless you all!

Joia said...

Take your Boppy pillow! =) I think others have pretty much covered it. You don't Really need very many different things, since all he'll be doing is eating, sleeping and pooping, so as long as you're covered with supplies for those three activities, you're golden! =)

Anonymous said...

1. at least 2 outfits for each day. he'll poop and pee through is clothes a lot. If you run out of clothes it's not bad to just let the wet outfit dry and reuse later (the RN's did this with the boys when they were in the level 2 nursery - they were short on clothes). The urine is sterile (from what I was told). I dressed the boys in sleepers for the longest time. It was easier that way - I didn't have to put jammies on them before bed.

2. Make sure you have a few newborn sizes and not just 0-3 mo. sized clothes. Ultrasound weights are just estimates and most babies 8 lbs and under will drown in 0-3 mo. clothes. And if he's a tiny guy (6 lbs or under) you can always pick up some preemie outfits at Walmart.

3. Vaseline if he's circumsized. We never had to clean it - not really allowed to touch it - but were told to liberally apply vaseline to the area

4. Diapers. Grab a large bag of them. He'll go thru 8-10 diaper changes a day. (watch out for pee flying and projectile poop :o))

5. 4 oz. bottles and stage 1 nipples. Not really sure how many you should have. I guess it depends on how often you want to wash them. At least 4 - 6.

6. Blankets - make sure they're big enough to swaddle him up in. Large receiving blankets work well. Bring a few extra because if he's tiny and doesn't "fit" into his carseat you may need to roll some up and stick them along the sides and between his legs.

7. Burb cloths. Gerber cloth diapers work well for this. 1 pkg contains 6-8 and they cover a large area over your shoulder.

8. A special take home outfit. You may want 2 - one for when you leave the hospital with him and one for when you take him back to FL.

9. Paci's if you plan on using them.

10. forumla

11. baby lotion, shampoo and soap. And maybe a few towels and wash cloths.

12. Of course you'll need the carseat. You might want to get and install sun shades in the car. One for the back window and one for each side window.

Hmmm. I'll have to think some more but that's all I can think of right now. I was trying to remember what we'd pack when we'd take a trip to visit my parents when the boys were babies.

Oh, I know some people prefer to use bottled water (the stuff for babies is called Nursery water.....I think)instead of tap water, but you can always pick that up when you're there.

Wendi, I'm so excited for you. I can't believe little XY will be here in about 5 wks.


Anonymous said...

definitely your camera!!!
we want to see LOTS and LOTS of pictures!

Rachel and Hans said...

ok...everyone else has little XY covered, so let's focus on you and john:

fiber one bars (the chocolate kind!), apples, bananas, carrots, a little cooler with pop and water, a loaf of bread and peanut butter, and of course, something for the "munchies" like pretzels!

that should cover "snacks".

and i second the camera...don't forget to take LOTS of pictures!!!

Anonymous said...

Rachel is great!
I think snacks are a good idea especially with me in the car but I can work on the snacks! You work on the baby stuff! mom

Tara said...

Babies don't need all that much the first few weeks, other than food, diapers and your loving arms!

I'd bring: formula....bottles...diapers...lap pads (for you in case of large messy poops), plastic bags for messy diapers (so the trash doesn't smell), lots of extra changes of clothes, bibs, little hats, and blankets.

I'm so excited for you I can't stand it. Thinking of Bri during this time as well...

Baby Cronk said...

I like the 12 point numbered list by Anonymous.

A few additional points...
The comment about the "Huggies butt" vs "pamper's butt" is true. Some babies have more diaper rash with certain kinds of diapers. It is good to have some diaper cream on hand for a sensitive butt. Basically, the more zinc oxide in it, the better it works on irritant diaper rash, but also the more expensive it is. If it is preventative, the normal Desitin or Balmex, or even Target brand diaper cream are fine, but if you run into stubborn diaper rash, the Triple Cream is the best in my experience. It is the thickest, so it stays in place and it has a good amount of zinc oxide. It's more expensive though, so we use it only when we need it.

One thing I didn't see mentioned wipes. Bring lots, as you won't believe how many it can take to clean up one poopy diaper (especially the thick black meconium of a newborn!).

About the bottles - get one of a few different kinds because some babies do better with one kind of nipple or another. My son Austin really liked the Avent and we used those for a while, but we switched to Nuby later because of some concern about the chemical BPA in clear plastic (with higher amounts in the Avent bottles, and none in Nuby). BPA is released into the milk when a bottle is heated or when it gets older and has been washed a lot. Anyway, that might just be me being a paranoid pediatrician mom, but whatever.

I agree that the cloth diapers work really well for burp cloths. We've got about 20 of them and have gone through lots of them, especially early on when spitting up is really common.

As far as the bath stuff, you actually shouldn't need much other than a washcloth and a little bit of baby soap, because you only do sponge baths until the umbilical stump falls off. In contrast to a comment by "anonymous", dont' clean the umbilical cord with anything. We actually don't recommend doing anything to it (don't clean it with alcohol or q-tips or anything). Just leave it alone and let it fall off on its own.

Circumcision care - if he gets circumcised, don't mess with it, just put lots of petroleum jelly (Vaseline) on the circ so it won't stick to the diaper. No other care needed.

Sun shade is a great idea. Receiving blankets are nice, but you might want some bigger ones too (Austin didn't fit very well in the receiving blankets for very long so it was nice to have some bigger blankets to swaddle in).

Pacifiers are good to have, but some babies like them and some don't, so don't go nuts and get too many. The hospital usually gives you a newborn one as far as I know, but it probably varies between hospitals.

Clothes - depends on how long before you get him home. A few outfits per day probably, since he'll probably spit up all over himself fairly frequently. It is fun to have a specialy going home from the hospital outfit. Hats are good to have too!

And of course, BRING A CAMERA! These are the most precious memories! I can't wait to see the pictures of your new little miracle!!

OK, I think that's all I can come up with at the moment. Can you tell I'm really excited for you?

: ) Lisa

P.S. I know John is an MD too, but when you become a new parent and are sleep deprived, you worry about a lot and doubt yourself and your own knowledge of child care and medicine. I have taken care of LOTS and LOTS of newborn babies this year and I still remember what those first weeks of being a mom are like, so please feel free to call/page/e-mail me at any time (day or night) if you are stressed or worried or need some reassurance, pediatrician advice, or new mom advice!

Gabbs said...

Don't forget the WIPES!!!!!!!

One thing you won't need for the hospital, but for on your way home is a thermos. Fill it up with VERY hot water, so that you can shorten your stops on the way home to feed little baby of whom we don't know the name. :) But really, you can use the hot water, combined with the cold water and formula to make a warm bottle, feed him and then stop for just a few minutes to burp him, instead of having to stop for the whole thing. We did this with Grace on the way to Kentucky to visit you guys, but we learned the hard way and stopped about 5 hrs into the trip.

Also, bring that swaddle wrap I gave you. There were 2, a thin one and a thicker one. I'd bring the thinner one, since its going to be hot here.

As for the bottles and pacifiers, I've only ever used Avent (which you have some of my old ones) and its always been great for both Nate and Grace. All of my friends also used those bottles, too, with ease. I would hold off buying any other bottles for now, because you can try one or two feedings before you leave to head back home and you can always run out to Babies R Us if they don't work.

One other thing....what I noticed with both Nate and Grace is that they swam in the 0-3 months clothes for the first 2 weeks at least. Nate was a little smaller than Grace was (he was born 3 weeks earlier than she was) but Grace was 8lbs 9ozs and 21 inches long and still had issues being too small for the clothes. Her going home outfit was Preemie. I would recommend to get a Preemie or, as some clothes have, a "newborn" size for the take home outfit, if possible. Although, I know you probably don't want to spend the money on an outfit that will only last 2 weeks or so, but it will make for cute picture coming home where the poor child isn't hidden beneath baggy clothes.

Gabbs said...

Oh another thing about diapers.....I've found that I prefer Pampers Swaddlers over Pampers Baby Dry (the fasteners on the sides are elastic and stretch on swaddlers as opposed to being fixed with baby dry) and I liked them better than Huggies. However, one day while at the store purchasing some diapers, a lady told me about luvs, which I was always reluctant to try because they are cheaper than Pampers and Huggies both. I tried them and they work just like Pampers and even have the stretchy fasteners and are way cheaper. My hospital used Pampers swaddlers on the newborns, so you may get a chance to see how they work. One thing I dislike about the pampers swaddlers, is that they leave little fuzzy pieces of cotton all over Nate's butt that are hard to get off. But of course, you'll have to see which diapers you prefer. IF you like the swaddlers the best though, I would suggest giving the Luvs a try. Its honestly about the same exact diaper, in my opinion.


I can't WAIT until my NEPHEW is here!!! Yay

Anonymous said...

I would get some of the disposable changing pads. These are so nice especially when you are traveling.

Anonymous said...

I would recommend not using wipes on your newborn baby's bottom. I have 5 children and we always used soft washcloths for the first couple of days. We have a friend who made her own diaper wipes and she said that her child never ended up having a diaper rash the entire time.

Baby Cronk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Baby Cronk said...

Wipes are fine and don't cause any more diaper rash than using washcloths. It is good to get the unscented kind though, because added perfumes and such can be allergens for babies. The key to preventing diaper rash in a brand new little one is to change wet/dirty diapers ASAP and to let the baby's butt dry a bit after wiping it off before you put the new diaper over it. Austin didn't have a diaper rash for almost a year and I used wipes with every diaper change.
: ) Lisa

Flakymn said...

This is so awesome!!!!!!!!!! Lisa, thank you for the call offer and explaining we'll have doubts and you did too even though you are a pediatrician! :) That's awesome. JB and I sat down and made a list last night of everything people suggested ... we are feeling more confident and people are coming up with things we never thought of.

Gabbs said...

I've used wipes on both Nate and Grace, too, without problems. I used the unscented kind when Nate was first born, but then continued because of his eczema problem.

Anonymous said...

Someone mentioned not using wipes on a newborn.....while at the hosp., they'll be using a disposable cloth that you wet with water. If the hosp. he's at uses these, make sure you grab the extra's from his basinet before he's discharged. Anything that's opened is for you to take home with you. If you leave it there they'll just throw it away. He should also have been given a bulb syringe, baby shampoo and a mild soap, diapers, and a comb.

And about diapers, we were a Pampers Swaddlers/Cruisers family until they added the dry-weave to it. It left fuzz all over the boys' bottom. Pampers Baby Dry now has the stretchy fasteners. Luvs does now too and Baby Dry and Luvs are exactly the same diaper, but Luvs is cheaper.

Shelly said...

Do you use coupons? I'd love to mail you some for the baby products we don't use anymore. I hate for a coupon to go to waste!

Shelly -
(mama to a Guatemalan prince)

Anonymous said...

Hi Wen,
I know I'm late in replying to your post and I obviously don't have any kids but from observing a friend of mine in Tulsa I will contribute what I can. She got beautiful blankets from her baby showers but once she brought her baby girl home she realized she didn't have any burp cloths. Her husband ran out and got some. So, I would say burp cloths.

Beth said...

Looks like everyone else pretty much covered the basics. One thing to add is a baby book--sometimes the nurses will help you insert the new baby's hand and footprints. The other thing I thought of is a special blanket. We have some super sweet photos of Sarah and Phillip with their baby blankets in the hospital that are very special to us. Don't stress too much though, it'll all work out!

FunkyMonkeyJunk said...


All the good advice has been given. So all I will say is that you and John will never be prepared enough for little XY's entrance into your lives. There will always be something you've forgotten or didn't realize you'd need. But you will have the most important things for this child right off the bat...a loving and excited mom and dad just dying to get their heart and hands onto this kiddo. That's really all that matters. Everything else can be solved with a quick jaunt to Wal-Mart. Loving parents cannot be.

Our Heavenly Father has ordained you to be this baby's parents. Isn't that amazing? That YEARS AGO...when Bri was in your arms as an infant herself, He KNEW what was coming. YEARS AGO, through all the pain of the IF journey, He KNEW who was coming.

There are not enough lists in this world that will prepare you for the amount of joy and awe this baby will bring into your lives. I am anxiously awaiting to see the glory of HIM come out of all of this...out of your lives, this journey, this young lady you love so much...this baby that's a totally unexpected miracle a short 9 months ago.

Loving you and praying over your new family!


Gabbs said...

Aww, Andi, you made me all misty eyed. That was so sweet, AND TRUE!