Monday, October 27, 2008

If you are doubting . . .

If you are doubting that you could ever love a child that is not from your body fully and completely, I pray that our family is an example to you that not only is this possible but entirely probable.

Right now I am watching our son play in his exersaucer. It's his new favorite place to be. It may have, actually, replaced his swing as top of his list in the last few days.

Isaac is making his normal slew of grunting noises coupled with some dinosaur grunts and loud squeals. He is intently investigating the tag on a stuffed toy train, flailing back and sucking on his teething ring, moving the stationary horse from side to side, and listening to the farmhouse play "Old McDonald" when he taps the birdie on the top of the roof.

I love to watch him play. I love to watch him investigate. I love to watch him learn. And I love so much more than that.

I love to hear him begin talking early in the morning. Even though the sun hasn't come up, hearing his cheery voice on the monitor and seeing his beautiful smile and squinted eyes when you finally come into his room and scoop him into your arms, is priceless.

I love how he giggles every time he sees his puppy. I love how he loves to sit in front of the fish tank for long periods, studying, watching. I love how he kicks his feet when Scrubs takes off down the hallway, chasing a light he will never catch. I love how he thinks his Daddy coming home is the best thing ever, only to watch him repeat the excitement the next day. I love his toes and his chunky thighs and his big blue eyes, and his contagious smile.

I just love him.

There were moments in the adoption process that JB and I questioned how bonded we would be to this child that we knew was coming but couldn't feel or see or touch. I can tell you that there is no biological child that I could ever be more bonded to. Isaac is the light of our lives. He was created by God, birthed by a wonderful young woman, and placed in our arms. But when I look at him, I do not ever think about the fact that he doesn't look like me. I just think about him being our son. I just think about the fact that I have been given the privilege of watching him grow from baby to boy to man. What an awesome gift that we have been given. What a precious opportunity and amazing treasure.

Adoption is not perfect just as biological children are not perfect. Children aren't easy and growing up is hard. But adoption has been perfect for us. Isaac is perfect for us. The laughter and chaos that we craved for so long has now permeated the walls of our house, and I can honestly say that there has not been one moment that I have questioned its inclusion into our lives.

Even Sunday morning, when a diaper overrun by a bunch of smelly stuff led to an impromptu bath and left us racing around like mad people to get out of the house before church became a distant memory, we were thankful. We were glad. We wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

We are blessed. If you are even considering adoption and wondering if you could love that child fully, rest assured that we are proof that you can. We are anxious for Elijah's arrival. Don't get me wrong. But we aren't wishing away the next few months. Everyday that brings Elijah closer, is a day that Isaac has grown up. And we don't want to wish away these days. We are enjoying every single minute of our little boy.

What a gift. What an amazing gift. If you ever wonder whether that gift could compare to a child from your body, please stop in and visit our home or this blog. Love does not know limits. You will never be the same.

8 comments:

Jules said...

What a great post!!!

You are wonderful parents and your boys are lucky to be blessed with such thoughtful, giving, caring, (I could go on lol) parents!

Anonymous said...

Wendi, that is so beautiful! From a new gramma's viewpoint-I hardly even think about him being adopted. I think of him as a wonderful grandbaby that I love so much. Grampa coach and I sit and look at the pictures and videos and cannot wait to see him (and you guys again)>I know I'll love the next 2 as much but it's hard to imagine. He is so precious! love love love him!! gramma di

Anonymous said...

thank you again...:)
living in the hope we will get these treasure filled moments one day too.
L:)

Amy T. S. said...

I remember right before A was going to be born and I would cry because I didn't want a baby who would take my time away from E. I did get over that, but I was certain I couldn't love A as much as I loved E. Guess what? I do!

Anonymous said...

Ditto what grama di said:)And
welcome to the world of laughter and chaos-it just gets better 'n better!
love gramma k

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful post, Wendi! And I second everything you've said. As the adoptive mom of two wonderful daughters who are now grown into beautiful young women, I never think of them not coming "from me". And my parents accepted them as their true grandchildren right from the start. For whatever reason, God decided to place these children with us, and that was (is) good enough for me. Adoption is amazing!!
And how could anyone not love Isaac...he is just so cute and always seems to be smiling! What a precious boy you have!
Cheryl

Aimee said...

You are definitely the picture of perfection as a family. I love Isaac's laugh and his smile and I can totally see how much he has brought to your lives.
I can only hope my adoption process goes as smoothly as yours!
And I know I will love that baby as much as if they had come from my body.

Rachel said...

I second that! i love our Carson just as much as Addison. No matter what way they came to me. I like what your gramma said too!