Saturday, July 09, 2016

We Bought a Farm: Always Real

That's a picture of me after I get torrentially downpoured upon while out feeding the pigs. (Wet is hard to show in pictures, but trust me, I'm soaked.)

These are the great little neighbors I found on our garage bathroom door this morning. JB told me how to clean them up. I have no desire to attempt this whatsoever.

I will not allow anyone to think that this farm thing is easy and that I have it figured out and have it anywhere close to altogether. Some nights, like last night, I had a hard cry and wondered whether I am made for this and whether I can do this.

Maybe it was finding Hannah trying to pee standing up while standing on the toilet seat.

Maybe it was here insisting that she liked dog food and JB deciding, "Why not? Try a piece."

Or maybe it was the fact that our dogs figured out that they can chase chickens and guineas. Now I have to try to keep all birds out of the yard and dogs in the yard until we can properly train them with birds.

(And this sent me into a tailspin just missing my spotted dog who left all the birds alone and was the "perfect" dog for the farm.)

Or was it the sheep that died or the chicken house that tipped over or the fact that I left the garage door open during a torrential rain storm yesterday. Or the fact that JB worked 9 of the last 11 days and his parents just went out of town?

I don't know.

But I'm overwhelmed. And doubting. And at the same time knowing I'll find my way. We are trying to find the "healthy" balance of farm life and personal life and spiritual life, and I know I'll eventually get closer than I am now.

Did I tell you that I am 18 days without Mountain Dew?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

Wait did I tell you that Hannah greeted me at the door on my way in from the animals wearing only her birthday suit and a Spiderman mask?

Keeping it real.


Unknown said...

Oh, Wendi! I am commiserating with you! While we do not live on a farm, I have for the first time in my life realized that I can't do everything, and I might have to consider lowering my expectations of what I can do by myself!!! (This is not a hint to you that you need to reach either of the aforementioned conclusions about yourself.) I read your posts though, and I hear frustration and being overwhelmed (I think God just equipped women with the ability to have a really good cry in private to right the axis of our worlds or to get us in position for His help--not sure which), but I catch the glimmer of your humor as you poke fun at yourself and your menagerie of animals and kiddos!!! You are amazing, girl! Who would have ever thought that that young woman on the ball court fighting for goals, or that sweet player who took time to impact my own child's life by sharing her basketball skills, or that excellent teacher with whom I taught who was pragmatically guiding and solving problems in the classroom and loving students who appeared to not want to be loved would end up on a farm facing life's everyday issues with such aplomb???? (asked with tongue in cheek) You have been in training for this all of your life, and you are a survivor, and I am proud to observe how you are a vessel of the Lord's work as wife, helpmeet, mother, teacher, farmer, champion of adoption and infertility--with no thought to prioritized order-- and so many more hats that I can not list them all, and I admire you for it! Fight on! and thanks for sharing your fight!

Jane said...

Getting through all of those things is an accomplishment - and 18 days without Mountain Dew! Still so impressed and inspired with everything you are doing and learning ...

Wendi Kitsteiner said...

Jan, I love you. THANK YOU for your kind and thoughtful words. I read them all (three times!) and I'll read them again when I need them most.

And thank you jane too. Encouragement means the world.

Debbie said...

I have to ask---what IS that on your garage bathroom door?

Wendi Kitsteiner said...


Anonymous said...

Jan Swisher should be a writer too -I want to read her response 3 x too -and will copy this into my journal -I've felt it for a looong time but she puts it in words so beautifully! " (I think God just equipped women with the ability to have a really good cry in private to right the axis of our worlds or to get us in position for His help--not sure which)" auntie Jan