Thursday, July 14, 2016

House queen

I'm sure you are familiar with the saying: "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." You probably thought it was funny when you heard it. Images of a mom who mean business and has an angry face came to mind when you listened to it. I agree! I think this saying is pretty funny, but I also think it portrays a very important hidden truth.

In your home, there is a queen. You, mama, are the queen. You hold a high tittle. A mighty position that also comes with a high responsibility. You are one of the main pillars in your household. You try to wear all your hats graciously. You are wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend. You are also the house cook, nurse, chauffeur, psychologist and laundromat! You do a lot! You work, you stay at home, you prepare meals, buy clothes, serve at church, volunteer at your kid's school, do groceries, and clean and fold more laundry than you can count!

It really takes a lot of effort to make a house run smoothly. It takes time, energy, commitment and the right attitude. Attitude. This is what I would like for you and I to take a pause and reflect on today.

As I mentioned before, the beauty of your home doesn't reside in the decorations you have hanging or in the colors on your walls, but truly in how you take care of your family. You can have a tastefully decorated home with no heart in which its occupants can't stand each other, or you can have a home in which family members, neighbors and friends actually enjoying hanging out.

As the queen in your home you are the one who sets the tone. Your attitude, your words, your actions will create a particular atmosphere in your home. Have you thought about that?

Listen, my family is far from perfect. As the queen of my home, I'm far from perfect. I react sometimes to life's happenings with a bad mood. Nobody has it all together all the time, right? There have been times when my husband was deployed and I had to take care of my kids and their specific circumstances for long periods of time, and I felt I didn't do my best. I lost patience and my attitude wasn't right. So... I get it! I know how hard it is. That is why when I see a mama tired or complaining, I know better than to judge.

Now, I refuse to let life's circumstances get the best of me. I want to have control; I want to have a fighting plan. I've been married for twelve years now and I've been a mom for almost nine. Several mistakes, great conversations with family and friends, and multiple Christians books have helped me create my own fighting plan. A plan that truly helps me when I feel overwhelmed and worn out. I hope you see the importance of taking care of yourself and have a flighting plan. If you don't have one, I'd like to share mine with you to get you started on your own.

So here we go... Here are the things that help me stay healthy to be able to love my family well.

1. Make my time with God a priority. If I don't connect with God and can't get my soul refreshed  and renewed by his Word, I feel the weight of the word upon my shoulders. I believe all the lies Satan wants me to believe about myself, and I get worried and distracted by things that don't matter.
I know, life is busy; especially when we are raising little ones, so do the best you can and what works for you!

Some of my favorite resources beside the Bible itself are: Proverbs 31 ministries; Focus on the family website,, and You Version Bible app. I know there are tons out there. Which ones do you use?

2. Have grace on myself. Scripture says:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness"

 Lamentations 3:22-23

You are only human. Confess your faults to God, apologize to your loved ones and move on!

3. Prayer warriors. When I'm going through a difficult time, I ask family and dear friends to pay for me and the specific things I'm worried about. It is so great to know that others are praying for me and encouraging me.

4. Exercise. Exercise is such a good stress reliever for me. It helps me get more energy, sleep better and get the bad mood out of my system. You don't have to kill yourself! Do what works for you! Join a local gym, go walking with a friend, exercise at home with your tread mill or workout DVDs, etc. If you are usually not motivated to exercise, I'd advise you to find an accountability partner!

5. Eat right. I'm not talking about diets here but about food that helps you be healthy. You know the drill! Less sweets and more fruits and veggies, my friend!

6. Sleep enough. You know what your number is. For me, if I don't get about eight hours of sleep, I won't be the best mama I can be in the morning.

7. Take a break. The end of the day is my hardest time. I'm worn out from spending most of my day with the kids and tending the house chores, so my husband does a fantastic job playing with the kids and giving them a bath during that time. Speak up and let your spouse know when you need a break!

8. Spend time with your spouse without kids. For me is very important to be able to have grown up, uninterrupted conversations with my husband and take care of our relationship. We believe one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to love each other well. We set money aside for sitters and getaways.

9. Do things you enjoy. Try to set apart some time to do things that relaxes you. I love to do crafts, watch my favorite show, have coffee with a friend or read a good book.

10. Hang out with people that bring you up. While I believe we are called to be kind to everybody and to have different levels of friendships, I also thinks it is essential for your wellbeing to hang out with people that really know you and love you the way you are.

11. Laugh and be silly. Sometimes, there is nothing better to change your mood than laughter or turning up the volume to sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs!

So this is my fighting plan to be able to be a good house queen and be prepared for my everyday demands. What's yours?

Take care of yourself so you can take care of others!




Anonymous said...

Love this one! Great advice and so true:)

Angelica said...

Thanks for your kind words! What helps you?

Debbie said...

This all rings so true for me. I needed to hear that this morning---thank you!

Angelica said...

Debbie, I'm glad the post encouraged you! So good to hear I'm not the only one who needs to take care of herself!:)