This life we are living is such a mixed bag for me. It is so amazingly wonderful and full and our days are busy with all the good things that we hoped we'd be busy with. Things like being outside and being with animals and nature and being together as a family.
So many people are writing to me. Nearly every day I get a message or an email or a text from people saying that I am living their dream. And nearly every day I get a message or an email or a text from people saying that I am living their nightmare.
So which is it?
The truth of it is, this is the life for us. We absolutely love it. But it is not easy. And it is not picture perfect.
Let me give you two examples.
This morning was an absolutely insane morning. Hannah had tried to make her own cereal and had stripped down completely naked in her bed again. I was totally out of laundry detergent. Our flies were running rampant. We had to have a short meeting with our intern. You get the idea.
JB also got word that he had to go into a work for a last-minute fairly urgent meeting regarding his company switching to a different management company. Sort of a big deal not knowing whether or not you have a job. (Meeting is over. All is well.)
So now we are down to just three hours of time. We have to get all the animals moved as JB isn't off again until Saturday. I really don't want to put Hannah in her bed because, well, she just woke up not too long ago and because, well, she keeps taking off all her clothes and diaper and the special pajamas I have ordered to keep her from doing this haven't come in yet.
So we opt. to take Hannah out with us to move the animals.
Here we are in the middle of our pasture with all four of our kids. The three oldest often join us. But we have never attempted to have Hannah with us for a move. These moves have a lot of steps. You have to put up new fencing, mow area around the fence, move the animals without them running away. There's food and water and a lot of little things.
I tell all the kiddos to get dressed. Here is what Hannah came up with:
Anyways, I write all that to say, if you just look at the picture you might think, "What a life! They have their kids in God's country, just all enjoying the great outdoors together. Look how happy their little lass is."
But what you didn't see was Hannah
crying screaming for nearly the entire time we were out there all because our friendliest pig decided to give her a major sniff-down while I was off getting food and Daddy was on the tractor. I am actually shocked JB got that photo. I don't know how he caught her not crying.
Speaking of getting food, JB snapped this picture of me leading our 9 sheep and 6 pigs (you can't even see the pigs in the photo) to their new paddock.
But here's another example of how real life doesn't always mirror what you see in a photo. This was a happy moment. The kids were laughing at Mommy leading everyone. JB was proud of me for my performance. I was enjoying playing my role.
And just five minutes later JB and I get into quite a doozy of a fight. I zigged. The sheep zagged. And suddenly JB had to go hike back up the hillside to retrieve the lost lambs. I thought he yelled at me so I got upset for being yelled at when I am just learning how to do all this stuff and I am not perfect. He said he did not yell. His voice is just quite hoarse. (Which is true.) So it sounded like he yelled. He also told me that I didn't think I stopped walking, but that in fact I had which is why the sheep took off again. Anyways, I was trying hard. He got frustrated. We got in a fight.
So all that to say that we are loving this life, but it is not without issue. It is not without stressful moments. It is not without me wondering what in the world I am doing here. It is not without me wondering if we can do this or not and whether I am the woman for the job.
But it is our life.
And we love it.
Even though it doesn't always look like the pictures!