Friday Funnies

I saw some cows on the side of the road. As we got closer to them, I said, "Here they come."
And Abigail replied, "They are not coming." Okay, technically she is right. I should have said "Here they are."

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Sidge: "How can our sun be in the center of the solar system if our solar system never ends?"
Me: "Let's go ask Dad."

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Sidge: "Why do you think they call it Hooked on Phonics? Do you think there is one guy who made it named Hook and another named Don and another named Phonics."

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We walked into the boys room last night. Sidge was laying on top of Isaac but sideways. When JB asked what they were doing, Isaac replied, "We are a plus sign."

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Sidge: "Why don't we have wings?"
Me: "Well, God didn't give us wings?"
Sidge: "But why not? If we had wings, we could fly?"
Me: "Do you want to fly?"
Sidge: "Maybe."
Me: "Well, you could hang glide."
Sidge: "What's that?"
Me: "I'll have to show you pictures sometime. You can hold something and sort of fly."
Sidge: "How can I do that?"
Me: "Well, you rent it from someone."
Sidge: "How do I do that?"
Me: "You pay them money and then they let you borrow their glider."
Sidge: "And then they give you your money back after you fly?"
Me: "No. It's like an amusement park ride. You ride and pay money to ride and they keep your money."
Sidge: "What is an amusement park ride?"
Me: "Like the ride at the fair we did the other day."
Sidge: "Oh. Well when can I do that gliding thing sometime?"
Me: "When you turn 18."
Sidge: "Why 18?"
Me: "Well 18 is considered a grown-up. I think you have to be a grown-up to hang glide."
Sidge: "Why is 18 a grown up?"
Me: "Well, I guess because you can vote."
Sidge: "What is vote?"
Me: "Well, you vote for something. Like the President."
Sidge: "How do you vote?"
Me: "You go somewhere and write down who you vote for and the person who gets the most votes wins."
Sidge: "But how do you know who wins?"
Me: "They count the votes. We can do a sample one in the van while we are driving right now."
Sidge: "Okay, let's do it."
Me: "Okay. Do you like bananas or oranges better. Everyone vote. Who likes bananas?"
Abigail: "I."
Sidge: "Me."
Me: "Okay. And I vote for bananas. So that is three. Now who likes oranges? Isaac? Which do you vote for?"
Isaac: "I like apples."
Me: "Yeah but you gotta pick one of my choices."
Isaac: "Okay. Bananas."
Me: "Okay then bananas win 4 to 0."
Sidge: "Let's do another."
Me: "Okay. Would you rather go to Disney World or the Dentist?"
Everyone: "Disney World!!!!"
Me: "Okay. Then that wins 4 to 0."
Sidge: "But I don't want to go the dentist."
Me: "I know. You aren't."
Sidge: "But when will I have to?"
Me: "I have no idea. That was just pretend though. It wasn't for real."
Sidge: "I know but if I go will they put those things in my mouth (x-ray cards) or not?"
Me: "I don't know Sidge. I have no immediate plans to take you to the dentist."
Sidge: "Okay. Can we vote again? But I don't want to go to the dentist."
[Mom requests a five minute break]