Friday Funnies

Elijah recently asked me what a "boob" was. Remembering that JB told me he wanted the boys to learn the anatomically correct words for body parts, I said, "Well, actually we would say breasts." I had to contain my laughter when Sidge obviously misinterpreted the word as breaths and said, "Do we need them to breathe?"
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Isaac: "Thank you for my applesauce, Daddy. Now I have everything I need to eat -- for goodness sake."
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I informed Isaac that I could tolerate no more whining. "You'll have to go back into the house and come out an not whine." He looked at me and then said, "I just can't not whine."
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When Isaac did something mean to Sidge today, Sidge said, "He made my feelings hurt" instead of the traditional, "He hurt my feelings."
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I found a stray car wheel from one of Sidge's many toy cars. I came into the room holding the wheel. "Sidge, where is the car for this wheel? Remember when you wanted to take this off that I said that wasn't a good idea because then you can lose the wheels?" Sidge turned to look at me and said, "But you found it."
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Sidge started crying because he could not get the button on his shorts undone. I am often reminding the boys not to get so upset about something that I will willingly help them with if they just ask. "This is nothing to cry over Sidge. Crying is okay, but you only cry when there is a reason to cry." Sidge looked at me and said, "But there is a reason. I couldn't get my pants unbuttoned."
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While working on our letters I said, "B says buh like in the word ..." and couldn't help laughing when Sidge replied, "Elephant?"
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Sidge has started "working" the whole delaying bedtime thing. Last night he found me on the porch hanging laundry.
Me: "Sidge, why are you out of bed?"
Sidge: "Mom?"
Me: "Yes?"
Sidge: "I got to tell you something."
Me: "Okay."
Sidge: "You're the bestest mom ever. I love you to the moon and back ten times."
Me: (Sigh ....)
Sidge: "Was that really sweet mom?"
Later that night he came downstairs ... again.
JB: "Sidge? What are you doing downstairs?"
Sidge: "Listen. Um. Guys. Listen."
JB: "No. You are supposed to be in bed."
Sidge: "But I love you to the moon and back."
JB: "Okay. But you can tell us that in the morning. Okay?"
Sidge: "Okay."
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While watching the Olympics, I was really getting into the women's triathalon. Sidge came up and joined me.
Sidge: "What are you watching mom?"
Me: "The Olympics."
Sidge: "What are they doing?"
Me: "Racing."
Sidge: "Oh. I want to do that someday."
Me: "You do?"
Sidge: "Yeah."
A few minutes later the racers transitioned from the water to the bikes and then the road. When Sidge started watching them and seeing them struggle while running he changed his tune.
Sidge: "I don't think I want to be a racer anymore," he said.
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JB went into the boys room to try and calm them down and get them to go to sleep. When he gave them instructions, Sidge, who was being a complete goof-ball, made a spitting noise at JB.
John: "And you do NOT blow raspberries at me when I am correcting you. Do you understand me Elijah?"
Sidge: "Okay. But could I blow blueberries?"
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Isaac: "Ma ma, I sneezed in the hallways and I said, 'bless me.'"
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At the front desk of JB's clinic while we were waiting to go down the hallway to see JB, the boys stopped in front of the male receptionist's desk and had the following conversation with him. (He didn't say anything. He just laughed the entire time while the boys talked, over top of each other and in rapid succession.) I have translated what they meant by putting it in parenthesis after what they said.
Isaac: "We are here to see my Daddy."
Sidge: "Yeah."
Isaac: "This is my movie theatre shirt." (The Cars shirt I wore to se the movie.)
Sidge: "Yeah but my movie theatre shirt just got a wittle too small." (Elijah got too big so the shirt doesn't fit anymore.)
Isaac: "But I wore this one."
Sidge: "And I wore my Woody shirt. This isn't Buzz light year." (From the movie Toy Story.)
Isaac: "I threw up but not when I was wearing this shirt."
Sidge: "Yeah, I did a little bit of throw up one time."
Isaac: "I did the throw up at Grama Di's house."
Sidge: "I did it on the floor."
Isaac: "I did it in a garbage can."
Sidge: "Yeah, I did it in the garbage can too."
Isaac: "But we got lunchables to have for lunch with Daddy."
Sidge: "Yeah. You got one and I got one."
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You know your kids have grown up in Europe and Asia when you overhear them playing doctor's office, and they get on the scale and the other one says, "You way forty hundred kilograms."
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Sidge came into the kitchen very upset that Isaac wouldn't play with him.
John: "Well, you can't make him play with you Sidge."
Sidge: (Puffs his chest up, takes a deep breath, and heads back down the hallway saying: "Well I think I'm gonna try to make him."