I remember watching Dumbo as a kid. I cried because it was sad. Sad because Dumbo's mommy missed her son, and he couldn't be with her.
And then I watched Dumbo as a grown-up. And I cried again. I cried because it was sad. I was still sad because Dumbo's mommy missed him. But mainly I cried at another part. You know when the stork was bringing all the animals their babies? Dumbo's mommy watched as all the animals got babies. But she didn't get one. She was sad. And I was sad for her. Because I knew how it feels.
Today I am 35. Most of my friends have children in school. My cousin Sarah, who got pregnant with her son Tyler the year JB and I thought we'd start having kids, had a son in 2003. My Isaac didn't join us for another five years. I was Dumbo's Mommy. I was watching everyone else have their babies. And wondering when the stork would bring my little miracle.
But He did. Not the stork. But my heavenly Father. His timing is unbelievably perfect. I wouldn't change anything. I wouldn't change the person I am because of all that pain. I wouldn't change the compassion I have. And I definitely wouldn't change the exact children we have. I never thought I'd say I'm glad for the pain. But I am. I'm actually ... thankful. Thankful for the experience. And thankful the stork brought my babies a little later than everyone else.
5 comments:
*tear* love you Wendi! I'm incredibly grateful to you and for opening my eyes and giving me a new level of compassion.
i CANNOT watch Dumbo. As a kid and still as an adult, when she reaches her trunk through the bars and rocks him- ugh, thinking about it I could cry.
I never really watched Dumbo. I don't think the boys have seen it ever. I didn't remember that part until I read this. The movie I don't like to watch (and won't watch) is Up. Of course there are funny parts (SQUIRREL! - which remind me of Mitchell running after the squirrel in Soldiers Field Park when we got together that day. Funniest thing ever. He still runs the same way) but I can't stand watching their dreams of having kids fades away - her crying as they find out they can't have children.
One of my favorite movies is Meet the Robinsons - awesome adoption story. I cry at the end of it every time!
Bethany
still waiting... but very happy for you. :)
To my anonymous friend who is still waiting, hang in there. I can't promise you the ending to YOUR story but I do know our Lord will give you the strength to take each day it comes and that someday, you will see that He authored your story perfectly. I pray, in the meantime, that you have peace and more good days than bad days. It's okay to grieve. It hurts. Bad. But I promise that there will be sunlight in the morning.
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