This post is a little motherhood-heavy. Feel free to skip and join in tomorrow if it will hurt your heart for any reason.
I have often felt a bit "robbed" by my inability to deliver vaginally. I used to hear people say this and remember thinking, "Well, that's silly. You have a baby. No big deal." And that is true. Obviously I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to be a mom and would gladly do it all again, via c-section, to have my beautiful children.
But there is a bit that I feel I lost out on in those early moments with my children.
During Elijah's birth, I was in labor for a day and a half, dialated fully, and pushed for three hours. But baby was not coming through. It didn't really have to do with how big he was. It had to do with the fact that my pelvis was not big enough to have a baby come through. But then his heart rate started being bothered by the contractions, and they decided to do a STAT c-section. So off I went.
I had no idea that in a normal c-section, like the one I would have with Abigail a few years later, that the mother typically gets to see the baby right after he or she emerges from the womb. The staff pulled down that drape and I saw a beautiful, crying baby girl, and I started crying. Crying more because that hadn't happened with Sidge. With Sidge, he was doing so badly when he was born that they whisked him away. It would be many hours before I held him. He would fight a hard battle (apgars of 1 at birth and 2 at 10 minutes) and I would be dealing with drugs used to calm me down as well as too much bleeding and a worry about needing a blood transfusion.
A day later, the problems hadn't ceased. I then got very sick with an illeus and infections. We had a really rough start. Abigail and I had a much better start.
But recently someone sent me this video: Mother friendly c-sections. I thought this was going to be some "mother Earth" video -- way to granola for my tastes. But it wasn't. After the difficulties in having Sidge and then seeing how much better it could be with Abigail, I agreed with the theories and suggestions in this video. I had seen how different I felt after just that one moment of getting to see Abigail cry. It had etched itself permanently on my heart. Early moments were important.
This video shows some of the efforts being gone to in order to allow mothers a more "traditional" birthing experience despite the fact that their baby's birth is not traditional. I am basically against birth plans and trying to "control" your birth experience too much. You really have to be flexible. But I do think attempting to get a bit more control of your c-section experience is something to consider.
3 comments:
I like this video. Practicing now in a very "granola" hospital, I think patients who, unfortunately, end up with c-sections, would love this approach (trying to get babies right to their chests, etc). I will say, though, that many even non-emergent c-sections can often "go bad..." like when babies who don't breathe on their own and need respiratory support, or when there is a lot of maternal bleeding, etc, so while this can and should be the goal, it should not be the expectation.
Tara, I 100% agree with you. That's why, in general, I am against a "plan" at birth -- since I have learned you have to go with the flow. I think asking for this is good, but knowing that the doctors need to do WHAT THEY NEED TO DO for the safety of your child is very important.
I've given birth 4 times. The first 3 were relatively uneventful vaginal deliveries (with epidurals!). My last baby was breech and large due to my gestational diabetes. We knew she was going to be a c-section but not when. After an amnio sent me into labor at 37 weeks they went ahead with the surgery. I had NO IDEA that there was a possibility I wouldn't get a chance to see her right after birth. Her head was wedged under my rib cage and it took a lot to get her out, she had swallowed a lot of fluid on the way out so they whisked her away before I even saw her. I wasn't allowed to see or touch her for 20.5 hours. It was excruciating! I find myself even now 5.5 years later way more protective of her than I was of the other kiddos. And I definitely prolong every stage she's in wanting to keep her little as long as possible! (But that may be due to her baby status!) Even though her birth ended in the best possible way with a happy, healthy baby, I still feel like I suffer from some PTSD from her delivery!
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