We Bought a Farm: Refocusing

I love this picture of Abigail -- just so focused on a sick little goose.

I think that is how God looks at us. He's focused on us.

Are we focused on Him?

I think God is just cool. Cool that he brought JB to me as my husband. I've been his girl since 1993, and I love him so much. I love that we can sit on our couch together and discuss our life as a team. He's my teammate. My best friend. I can't imagine doing this life without him.

I know that many of my friends don't have that. They have marriages that are hard. Or they have failed marriages. I grieve that loss with them. I know loss well from infertility. But even that I did with a partner. I'm so sorry to those of you grieving the absence of a teammate. Know that my heart hurts with you.

JB and I sat on our couch a few nights ago and talked into the early morning. We've never done that I don't think. At least not since we've been parents and considered our sleep more precious. We discussed this life we've created for ourselves here. And here's what we decided.

1. We love this farm.
2. We want to live here forever.
3. But we also know we need it to look a bit different.

We are truly evaluating four words:

WHAT
BRINGS
US
JOY?

And if it doesn't bring us joy, if it causes us stress, we are letting it go. We already cancelled one batch of chickens. As I thought about it and we talked, I realized that being a salesman for meat does not bring me joy. I don't mind selling to people as they want it and as they ask me. Just this morning we brought a lamb in to be processed for a local family that found us online. I'm fine with that. But I don't want to have to find people. I also don't want to have to stress about whether we can fit meat in our freezers as we wait for it to find a home.

So we are cutting back. We are going to focus on feeding OUR family. And if we have some extra that people want to buy, great. But if not, we can put it in our freezer, and call it a day.

We are cutting WAY back on our pigs. We may consider not doing pigs in the future. We plan to focus on our sheep and our laying chickens and a bit on meat chickens and be at peace with that.

I write this to say that if you are still trying to "figure it out" you aren't alone. We are too. We haven't arrived. We are finding our way too.

"Lord, this is your farm, and if you show us what you want for this farm, we will do it."

And I believe He will show us.

And I believe He will show YOU too.

Whatever it may be. Fill in the blanks. Your marriage. Your job. Your home. Your health. Your future.

Ask Him to show you.

And listen to His voice.

And wait.