Thursday, January 26, 2017

Thank you Patty

I have decided that I NEED to more regularly tell people I love why I love them and that I love them and thank them for loving me. 

This is Patty.

Patty and I are very different. 
  • Patty is short. I am tall.
  • I am blonde. She is not.
  • She is from Puerto Rico. I am from America. (Ha ha! Just kidding. Puerto Rico is in America everyone!!!!)
  • Patty was a professional ballerina. (Me: Not!)
  • Patty is a lawyer. (Me: Definitely Not!)
  • I am a morning person. Patty? NOT EVEN CLOSE!
The list goes on and on. But Patty loves to hug. And she loves to hug me. And when, after knowing each other briefly at Eglin AFB, she and her husband Yamil (also known as "Mr. Meal") moved to Turkey, we bonded. We bonded over very little in common except a general love for people and each other and good food and world peace. Patty was stuck on a little Base with no job and a newly emerging belly. And I was stuck in my house with two little boys and a great big dog and a new baby. And so we hung out together and just spent time being together.

At some point she might have gone into early labor and I had a small panic attack that I didn't let her see thinking that I was going to be her birthing coach and translator in a foreign country while her husband tried desperately to get a flight back in time.

(He got home in time. THANK GOD! Poor little Troy would have had a version of a very white and blonde woman instead of his much handsomer Peurto Rican father.)

Patty and I do not see the world quite the same. But we want the same thing for our world. We voted differently. But we voted for the same reasons.

Last night I texted Patty. My heart was grieved (as it has been a lot lately) because of people not treating each other with respect and kindness. I told her I was sad. She told me she loved me. She encouraged me to spend less time on social media. (Shouldn't we all!) And reminded me that while are very different people, we share a love for the world and people and are just two ladies trying to make the world better.

It may have been just a short Wendi-is-freaking-out-again text to her, but to me, it actually stopped the anxiety I have been battling cold in its track with an assurance that she will not stop being my friend because we are different. Oh how I needed to hear that this morning. 

I plan to do a lot more of this on my Blog in the coming weeks and months. Bragging on people who in a big or little way made a BIG difference in my day. In my life. In who I am. Patty is one among many of very important women in my circle of supporters. I need to tell them more often how much I appreciate who they are for me.

Bravo Patty! Thank you for taking a break from your Uber-Patty life and just being my friend for five minutes that I needed you most.


Patty PB said...

Now the dust in my eyes is making them water. 😉
Big virtual hug coming your way!! 💖
I miss u!

TAV said...

This was good to read today. I love you, too, and you know how I voted. I've been caught in the cycle of nasty negative facebook feeds and comments, even from people who feel and voted the same way as I do, and long to have a constructive in-person conversation with someone who actually feels hopeful at this time, and to help me understand and move past the stress, anxiety, betrayal, and despair I feel about the country's leadership and the daily decisions that are being made. Despite having nearly all like-minded (real and FB) friends and living in a blue bubble, I recognize the intense need for me personally to step away from social media and the internet due to the anxiety and anger it triggers, but am struggling with how to stay informed without feeling like crawling into a hole and sobbing on a daily basis (if you figure this out, please let me know). xoxo

Wendi Kitsteiner said...


While I do agree that stepping away from social media can help TREMENDOUSLY, I think there are a few MAIN things that I have really paid attention to recently and should be encouraged in times one feels hopeless (for whatever reason)

1. Remember that GOD is in charge of the world. This may have surprised people but it did not surprise God. One of my favorite men in the media, Benjamin Watson (and I have no idea where or who he voted for -- I can't find that he ever said ) recently wrote:

"Quick trip down the road to my mother's hometown to witness our democratic republic in action. As we did with the Obama Administration my family and I will pray for wisdom, protection, direction and clarity for the Trump Administration as they lead our country. While I respect the office, my hope lies in no man. Because whoever is in office, Christ is ALWAYS on the THRONE!"

2. There is nothing new under the sun (as it says in Ecclesiastes).

3. I believe, as is written in C.S. Lewis ScrewTapes letters that politics distracts me as a Christian from God's bigger purpose -- to share Christ's love. It shouldn't matter where I am living or how I am living. I should be living for him and sharing him with everyone. THAT is my job.

Patty PB said...

I hope you don't mind me responding, but I have been dealing with similar issues and anxieties as you describe. The best thing I did, was to unfollow people on social media whose posts were not inspiring, or were downright negative, or gave me an urge to respond negatively. It did not matter if they thought like me, or not. I realized Social media was supposed to be for my 'entertainment' and leisure, and it had turned into a battlefield for me. My emotional health was hurting, and I was not helping (or even promoting) to make the change I thought was needed.
As far as staying informed, it is imperative. However, here's what I did to fight that feeling of 'crawling into a hole' you described: Now that 'what's done is done', if I am passionate about issues and feel I have to do something, I get involved the right way. (Donating to a charity you support, volunteering for polititians you trust, and getting to know your congressman and representatives, are some examples.) Stay informed, but DO NOT get sucked in the 'social media commenting Matrix'. At least for me, this has proven to be destructive to both my emotional health and personal relationships. ( I am a lawyer, and debating is in my nature. It has been VERY hard to avoid this, but I've been much happier for it!)
This does not mean I don't post political things. I do, because I believe in those things. But I no longer read the comment section of controversial posts, or posts that affect me negatively, because it is just not worth it.
Also, I follow any account that makes me laugh. Laughter is healing, and THAT is worthy of my limited 'leisure' time! :)
Hope that helps, and good luck!

TAV said...

Yes, Patty! Thank you for the comment. And yes, Wendi, thank you for yours. My emotional health is in a bad place, and while I hate to isolate myself from good news, pictures, and family updates, the sadness and depressing news are too overwhelming (and I love your "social media commenting Matrix" comment! It's best to keep scrolling (hard, as I also like to make important points heard, or unfollow certain people/accounts). I am trying to pray, stay engaged in the ways you have articulated, and try to believe things will be better/resist the cynicism which seems to be pervasive. It's helpful to know I'm not alone, although I seem to be less resilient than I thought myself to be, and seem to be taking it harder than other (also passionate, committed, ethical) people I know.