Saturday, March 29, 2014

Choose your April Fool's

I recently read a blog post entitled: The Joke is Over -- Why I Hope Not to See Pretend Pregnancy Announcements on April 1st.

I wanted to take a moment to echo this author's sentiments.

I am no longer infertile. I now have four children. Those five horrid years of infertility are far behind me. Truly, they have become like a dream to me. I am able to see those years of pain as a good thing in my life. I am able to see that they are responsible for the direction my life has taken. Not only would I not have my infertility and adoption ministry, but more importantly, I wouldn't have Isaac.

I no longer find myself in a ball on the floor, sobbing from the feelings of loss. The grief no longer threatens to suffocates me. I am able to attend baby showers and baptisms and birthday parties without hiding in a bathroom, trying to pull myself back together.

But despite the fact that I have healed from those years, I am forever pricked by that pain. I am constantly thinking, "I wonder if there is someone sitting in the audience hurting hearing those words?" I am keenly aware and in tune with that pain.

"The English language lacks the words 'to mourn an absence.' For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only 'I am sorry for your loss.' But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" ~Laura Bush
It is for that reason that this new "thing to do" -- posting fake pregnancy announcements on April Fool's Day has genuinely riled me up. Please do not take this personally. If you have posted one of these announcements, I am not mad at you and do not think less of you. I recognize that for the majority of your audience, it is funny. But for the few that dream, literally dream, of how they would share this news with their loved ones, the fact that you are able to joke about something that they want so desperately, is truly too much to bear.
In addition, there is currently a circulating message on Facebook from Breast Cancer Awareness groups that encourages people to pick an item to post to Facebook. One of these is a fake pregnancy announcement. Again, not funny.
Please try to remember the grieving as you choose your April Fool's

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