The day

Today is the day.

The day I avoided for years.

And now I'm supposed to celebrate it.

JB sent me away for a night. The Base organized a get-away. We took a 2.5 hour train ride to a spa. We spent the night. I had 24 hours to myself. I read. I relaxed. I participated in a Turkish bath (which will take much more time to not only write about but to wrap my thoughts around.)

I do celebrate being a mom. It is amazing to be a mom to my three miracles.

I also celebrate my wonderful mother. And my husband's mother.
But please know that YOU are not forgotten. You know who you are. I don't need to write your name on this blog for you to know that you are on my heart. You are my childhood friend. You are related to me. You are my good friend. I see you every day. I haven't seen you in a few years. You had success once but so want to conceive again. You have never been pregnant. You've been pregnant many times but have lost the child. You are told you need infertility treatments to have a chance at parenthood. You have lost your mom. You have lost your child.

Today hurts for you.

I love you. And I am praying for you.