Friday Funnies

I have decided that I am going to just start posting these Funnies on Fridays. Here we go -- the funnies from the last seven days.

I made some chocolate truffles for MOPs and put them in the refrigerator. Then, I got started on some blue cheese bites -- apple and blue cheese and cream cheese rolled in crescent dough. Elijah watched what I was doing. He asked if he could have one of the chocolate truffles, and I told him, "After breakfast." And then, as I started on the dough-filled bites, he said, "Mommy, could I have one of those. But in chocolate?"
*****
John: "Elijah, don't jump on that. Move over to another part of Daddy's bed."
Elijah: "Why?"
John: "Because it's my uniform."
Elijah: "What's a uniform?"
John: "Daddy is in the Air Force."
Elijah: "What's the Air Force?"
John: "It's like being a soldier ... but with planes."
Elijah: (Eyes get real big!) "You're a sollll-dierrrr?" (It was as if, in one moment, his very perception of his father was completely changed. Not sure what he thought that uniform was that Daddy wore every day.)
John: "Yes."
Elijah: "Okay. But could you only be a good guy? Don't be a bad soldier."
*****
Elijah: Elijah saw a smashed snail outside of the house. "Mommy," he said, "That snail died."
Me: "Yes, he did die."
Elijah: "Mommy, who died him?"
*****
Isaac dropped our milk carton and broke it. It was therefore already on "thin ice." I pulled the carton out of the fridge, forgetting about this, and it broke open again, spilling milk all over the fridge."Dang it," I said before I thought about it. (This is the one word that I continue to use without thinking, and I've been working on cutting it out of my vocabulary.) And then, as I cleaned up the milk, I said, "I'm sorry boys. Mommy shouldn't use that word."
Isaac: "Yeah, dang it is a bad word."
Mommy: "I know. That's why I said I was sorry."
Isaac: "God doesn't like when we say bad words."
Mommy: "I know. I asked him to forgive me too."
Isaac: "And when you say dang it to Scrubby, you need to say you are sorry to him too."
Mommy: "Okay, I will."
*****
Isaac asked Elijah to pick up his car. I heard Elijah say: "Yes sir ..." then realizing Isaac wasn't a sir he said, "Yes, Ma'am." And then he cut himself off again and just said, "Of tourse!"
*****
We've been working on the practice of once Elijah finishes his food, if he is still hungry, he can have fruit. The kid could easily eat two sandwhiches, four pancakes, etc. but instead of doubling the meal, we are trying to add healthy food to the end. So if he eats his two waffles for breakfast, and is still hungry, he cannot have more waffles. The following conversation, however, is constantly taking place when the hunger strikes.
Elijah: "I'm still hungry Mommy. Can I have more pancakes?"
Me: "No. You've had two pancakes. That's enough."
Elijah: "So, what can I have?"
Me: "You can have some fruit."
Elijah: "Or what?"
Me: "There is no or what. If you are still hungry you can have fruit."
Elijah: "Or?"
Me: "You can have fruit or you can have fruit. There is no choice here Elijah."
Elijah: "Fruit or fruit? You are silly Mommy."
*****
We having been getting books from the library every few days to keep the excitement alive in our home. We were reading a book today about cars. In it, they had pictures of all kinds of cars including a small "model car." Obviously, Joni had had a conversation in the past with Isaac about model cars because Isaac said, "Can we play with model cars, Mommy?"
Me: "Well, you could if you wanted to."
Isaac: "But Joni said we can't."
Me: "Well, model cars are more to look at. But if you wanted to play with one, I suppose you could."
Isaac: "Joni said that you just make them and put them on the shelf and look at them and don't play with them. But I would want to play with them."
Man, does that kid have a memory or what? I am sure this conversation had to occur many months ago, as he hasn't seen Joni recently!
*****
After brushing Elijah's hair, he looked in the mirror and said, "Do I look really handsome, Mommy?"
Me: "Yes, you look like a stud."
Elijah: "Don't call names, Mommy."
Me: "No, a stud means really, really  handsome."
Elijah: "Oh. Okay."
*****
And here are some video funnies:

• Abigail only wants to be outside.
• Elijah gets stuck on the fence.