A little rougher day with some little bits of sunshine

JB left this morning. I am so happy that he is getting to take this camping trip. He loves to do be outside, and there are very few things he would rather do then spend a few days in nature. In addition, the guys he is going with are all so wonderful. I know they are going to have a great time.

Unfortunately, his departure isn't the best as far as timing is concerned. I didn't realize how much he helps stabilize me until they pulled away this morning, and he wasn't there to stabilize me. I felt like one of my legs had been pulled out from under me.

So, needless to say, today hasn't been as good of a day as the previous days. Today, is a little harder. However, my dear friend Lesley is taking me out for a bit of pampering at the salon this evening as well as a dinner, and I must admit that has really given me something to look forward to today.

I spoke with Mary this morning. She is the nurse in the IF clinic who has been there longest, and she really knows the answer to everything. If I call and ask a question that another nurse doesn't know the answer to, she immediately refers to Mary, "because she knows everything."

Mary called, and we talked, and, she gave me some great news. They have decided NOT to use the birth control pill to "down regulate" me. Down regulation is where they completely shut my ovaries down so they stop producing any eggs. There is another way to "down regulate" and with the hopes that it will help prevent migraines, they have decided to give it a try. It involves a different combination of drugs. Mary assured me it was a proven technique and that it should work just fine.

More good news? Dr. C. also said I could regularly decrease my Metformin from 3 pills to 2. He said he understood that the new drugs thrown in cause me to get major GI upset from the Metformin, and while I was hoping he would say I could eliminate it altogether, cutting the dose "officially" (since I end up cutting it myself because I can't handle it) was another nice treat.

The third bit of good news? We are on the calendar for another fresh harvest. November 6-10, we are going to have another try. Mary said, "That means you could find out you were pregnant by Thanksgiving." It's hard to believe that one year ago, I was in Chicago with the family, grieving another failed attempt, and trying as hard as I could to get through that day without crying. (I didn't make it as Sarah can attest to.)

There was some other news which I am not sure how to take. They are going to dilate my cervix again prior to the attempt. Now, in case you forgot (because I didn't), my last transfer was not very much fun, and they did not dilate me prior to this transfer. They did dilate me prior to the first transfer, and it was much smoother. So I think I am happy they are dilating me, it's just that having this done, is, well, at the very bottom of my list of "fun things to do on a Friday afternoon."

Mary was very sweet as we talked. She told me knows that I have been at this for a long time, but she encouraged me that people do get pregnant after failed attempts and that, if I could handle it emotionally, I shouldn't throw the towel in quite yet. I really appreciated this. I asked her if she could tell me a few success stories, and she did. I needed some encouragement.

I also looked up some old statistics and reminded myself that while I am not a "population", the statistics can help keep things in perspective. Each cycle, we have about a 22% chance of an embryo implanting. That means that the fact that it didn't work doesn't mean that there is a reason it didn't work. It just didn't work this time. And it just didn't work the previous time.

So we are going to go in and see the doctor on October 6th to sign off on some paperwork. We will need to have a decision made in regards to number of eggs to fertilize by this date. We think we have made a decision but want to ask the doctor a few questions first. I will start my new medications on October 8th, and only thirty days from then, I'll be back in the operating room again. Wow! This is moving fast.

Just wanted to give you an update and keep you entertained if the fork post earlier this morning didn't do the trick.