Pregnant after IVF

Or should we call it IVF PTSD? Click here for an article about the challenges of conceiving after much loss.

Embryo Fight

When JB and I did IVF, we had to sign detailed paperwork discussing the future of the embryos we were were giving life to. Click here to see a modern day legal battle waging because two hollywood stars. Who gets embryos when the relationship dissolves?

You exist because I yearned

I yearned for you.

I begged. 

I pleaded. 

I cried. 

I prayed. 

I sobbed. 

I grieved.

I met with any doctor who would listen. I gave myself shots. Your Daddy gave me shots. I was probed.  I was tested. I went to more appointments than I could count.

We did ultrasounds and blood draws and procedures and more ultrasounds.

We conferred and conferenced and discussed and researched and educated ourselves.

They said Clomid. We did that three times.

Three times it didn't work.

They said artificial insemination. We did that five times.

Five times it didn't work.

Then they said in vitro fertilization. We tried that four times.

Four times it didn't work.

If they said to try it, we found the money, and we tried it. We borrowed it. We scrimped for it. We gave up anything we could for it.

We did all this for you.

But still you didn't come.

We passed our fifth anniversary. Our seventh. Our ninth.

Still infertile.

Still childless.

I wanted you so badly that some days I felt like my heart could break from the desire -- form how much I yearned to hold someone I hadn't ever met.

I pictured you. 

I dreamed of you. 

I thought of you. 

I longed for you.

And so we kept pressing. Kept trying. Kept pushing. Kept hoping. Kept yearning for YOU.

Invitro? One more time?

Yes. One more.

The very last time we tried IVF, two tiny embryos were dropped into my womb. The ultrasound tech whispered, "Two little shooting stars," as the camera watched you and your sibling glide into my womb.

More waiting.

More dreaming.

More hoping.

More yearning.

And if we were honest, we would have said that we didn't believe we would ever meet you.

Today, you are here and you are 15 months old and you have long brown hair and big blue eyes and a personality that constantly tells us you will not let the world tell you who you are.

Today, you are climbing and putting fistfuls of food into your mouth and smearing spaghetti in your hair and saying new words every chance you can. You are giving huge hugs and saying, "Na!" when you plant a kiss on our cheek. You are starting to run and read books and ...

I love you.

I yearned for you.

I never gave up on you.

And because of that desire and a really cool God

I am your mom.

You exist because I yearned.

And I yearned because I loved you before I knew you.

And now I know you.

And I love you Hannah Joy.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's a pleasure to be your Mommy.

What if she's not mine?

Now that our not-so-little Hannah Joy is one year old, I would like to admit something to the world.

The first thing that crossed my mind when they pulled her from my womb and announced, "Congratulations! It's a toddler" were the following five words:

What

if

she's

not 

mine?

Our very unconventional path to parenthood had been filled with experiences out of the realm of "normal." Included on that list are the following very non-normal facts:

• I found out I was six weeks pregnant when my son was eight weeks old.
• Our youngest child was conceived before her three older brothers and sisters.
• I have sons born less than nine months apart -- something not humanly possible.
• I received a call that my son had been born -- while stuck on a highway in traffic.

I could go on, but I'll leave it at that. 

Those four bullets are enough to make my point. 

Parenthood didn't come easy for us.

It didn't come in a normal way for us.

I mean, how many mothers can actually say that the first thing they thought when their baby was born was, "What if she's not mine?"

Probably not a ton.

But if your baby is conceived outside your body and then a physician puts that child inside your body, there is, in the back of your mind, a thought, that that fertilized embryo placed inside you may not actually be yours. 

(I'd like to meet an IVF mom who hasn't thought it.) 

So that thought is already somewhere in the back of my mind when a child is born that appears to look nothing like me. Nothing like my husband. Nothing like us. 

• She has a full head of fair -- nothing like my previous children.
• Her hair appears to be jet black. I am a blonde. My husband has brown hair. (I mean, I am 100% Dutch! And they aren't really known for their dark hair!)
• The hair makes her looks sort of Asian or Hispanic. She truly does not look like any of her brothers or sisters at birth.

As they wheeled me to recovery, my husband headed with the baby to the nursery. There, his parents met him on the other side of the glass. There were two babies in the nursery at that time, and when he pointed at Hannah, they laughed and made a motion as if to say, "Very funny. Hold up the real one."

JB said he had to convince them fairly vehemently that this was not a joke. Hannah, was really, well, Hannah.

When I was stable enough to go back to my room, JB met me there with Hannah. As I held her, I expressed to my husband my concerns. He concurred, and I remember feeling a huge sense of relief to know that there wasn't something wrong with me for thinking that this child might not be mine. My husband is a doctor and quite educated. If he is thinking it, then I'm not completely crazy for having the thought go through my mind.

"What if it's the wrong embryo?" I asked JB.

"I've thought that," he replied. 

And then my brilliant husband did something that put our mind completely at ease.

He put a hat on her baby.

And as disturbing as it may sound, this picture below was all the confirmation I needed. 

In that photo, Hannah looked just like my brother. 

(That's the disturbing part.)

Now obviously, as an adoptive parent, a child being genetically related to me is relatively unimportant. I don't need blood to love. However, since the child was coming from inside of me, it was sort of important that she didn't actually accidentally belong to some other couple somewhere. 

As time went on, Hannah continued to sport a fairly non-Dutch like appearance. Here she is at nearly two weeks old with her newly acquired passport:

But now, well, all doubt has, obviously been erased. This chick is 100% the correct embryo. And I am 100% absolutely in love with her. (And so is her Dad!)

We love you Hannah Joy. Thanks for waiting so patiently in a frozen state for eight years to join our family. We spent a lot of money and tried for a VERY long time with all those embryos, and to see just one of them alive and walking around is truly such an amazing gift.

You will always be our little girl!

Bobbie Thomas: No more whispers, I'm doing IVF and proud of it

I'm constantly keeping my eye out for stories in the media regarding infertility and fertility treatments. I think that sharing these stories helps spread awareness and leaves less people feeling so alone. Here was a great one that was recently on NBC: Bobbie Thomas: No more whispers, I'm doing IVF and proud of it.

She writes:

"Additionally, I was starting to notice that when I did tell friends or colleagues about the treatments, I often found myself whispering. As if “IVF” was something to be ashamed of rather than an increasingly common way many couples are conceiving. More often than not, “I’m so sorry” has been the response I’ve received when telling someone that I am about to start my second round of treatments. Sure, it’s not glamorous. It’s painful and expensive, and occasionally causes me to act like a hormonal rage monster. But it’s also a wonderful, amazing, life-changing medical advancement that has the ability to bring so much joy to so many families.

So I decided that I wanted to share my journey with social media, with Today.com, with other women out there — hopeful moms-to-be and their partners. And when I posted to my Facebook page that I was not pregnant, but was hoping to become so with the help of IVF, I was astounded by the outpouring of love and encouragement from people who I’ve never even met. It was as if an instant sisterhood of support sprang up on my computer screen. There are so many kind, strong women out there who have gone through what I’m going through, and many more who will one day. I hope that by talking about it as something we’re proud of, we can lean on and learn from each other."

Some housekeeping

I've had a few things I've been wanting to post lately. I've decided to go ahead and do one "big post" with a bunch of these housekeeping points.

I also wanted to share with you that our Sidge has been doing better and better post-move. I get asked about him a lot. Thank you to those who have been praying for him. We are really seeing the major stress and darkness that had been enveloping him, dissipating praise the Lord.

Okay, here are the things I have been wanting to share:

• A great advertisement video on encouraging girls to be interested in Science.
• A great video showing how to cut grapes in one big group!
• A great video showing how to peel garlic. (My husband does this all the time!)
• A story on Today about a surprise pregnancy for a mother who had carried another woman's baby through IVF. This gal has always encouraged me for her incredible character and pro-life views. 
• An online piece on Today -- a letter from the Mom of an IVF baby. I love pieces like this as I always be an IVF mom due to our miracle Hannah.
• If you have an item you would like to donate to our next online auction for Because of Isaac please send me an email at wendi@wendikitsteiner.com! We are hoping to unveil the auction in October. Remember, this can be things that are made or things just laying around your house that you are willing to pay shipping for for an online winner. 
• A request to please consider buying and/or spreading the word about our T-shirts sales for Because of Isaac. We have now sold 24 shirts. Our goal is 75 so we have a ways to go, but we are getting closer. Here is a snapshot of the shirt (which is available in ten colors and both men and women's styles.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

The big little sister

 

Hannah will have a story to tell as she grows up.

 

It will go something like this.

 

While visibly younger than her three preceding siblings, she is actually the oldest. We aren't sure exactly when she was conceived as we can't be sure whether she was part of our first or second round of IVF, but, for argument's sake, we'll guess sometime around 2005.

 

Her siblings? Conception would have been 2007, 2008 and 2010.

 

So when the arguments ensue, as I am sure they will, Hannah can climb upon her soapbox and let them have it.

 

"Listen here big brother Isaac. Forget shotgun based on being the oldest. We all know who the real  oldest is in the family."

 

"And Sidge. You may be bigger, but let's not forget that I am the oldest sister."

 

"Oh and Abigail. Goodness knows you are going to claim big sister status. But let's not forget that you weren't even a blip on Mom and Dad's radar when I came into the world."

 

If we want to get technical, she's even older than the first child in this family.

 

Scrubs' date is 2007.

 

And ... not only is she the oldest, but she is, actually, the most expensive too. Let's not even get into how much IVF cost us.

 

While Isaac was adopted and therefore quite expensive, the adoption credit allowed us to have much of it reimbursed.

 

Sidge was by far the cheapest.

 

Abigail was born in Germany. Not a cheap endeavor.

 

But Hannah. On top of being an IVF-baby, we had to fly to the USA to bring her into this world.

 

She takes the oldest and the most expensive slot with ease.

 

This chick may be little -- but watch out world!

Our Apricot IVF Baby

My boys love to color.

 

So when it comes to colors, it is not surprising to me that they think in crayon colors.

 

When they talk about the color of their own skin, they often say, "I am apricot."

 

 

When Elijah referred to an African American boy at the pool, it was therefore not surprising that he would describe the child as, "That little brown boy."

 

Brown is a crayon color after all.

 

Do you remember, when we were children, that apricot (the crayon) was called "flesh."

 

Today, if they had a flesh colored crayon, it would look a little differently. Maybe something like the photo below:

 

 

 

Keeping this in mind, it didn't surprise me, but definitely made me chuckle, when Sidge asked me the other day about the baby that is due to pop out of me at any moment.

"Do you think the baby will be brown or apricot?" he asked.

I loved that his childhood naiveté sees color as nothing but just a fact. I love that when my parents have had visitors to the house, my daughter Abigail has seemed most comfortable around people with brown flesh. (I mean my shy girl actually hugged their friend Michelle, an African American male, of her own accord!) That she doesn't immediately gravitate to apricot simply because that is what her family is makes me happy!

However, my husband and I did share a long distance chuckle when I told him about Sidge's question regarding the new baby. Since this child is a product of IVF, if she were to come out brown it would not state something about me but about Mayo Clinic. JB forgot about this and said to me, "Well, if the child is brown, you have some explaining to do."

"No," I laughed. "Mayo Clinic does!"

Even though we joked about this, I have to say, it has crossed my mind a few times. I have no way of guaranteeing that this embryo they implanted is actually our's -- no way of knowing for sure that there wasn't a mistake made. It will only be when I see this little one, that I will know for sure.

That's not something "normal" parents have to worry about.

But our journey to parenthood has been far from normal. Adoption, two surprises, and now one baby through IVF.

Most likely ... an apricot baby!

Update

I'm not sure how else to put this information "out there" so I'll just do it this way.

We are pregnant.

Our fifth and final try with IVF was a success.

My numbers on Wednesday and then on Friday went up appropriately meaning, as of right now, the pregnancy "has stuck."

We will not know if it is 1 or 2 until we have an ultrasound done in 3 weeks.

As of today, I am considered six weeks pregnant. The ultrasound will be at 9 weeks.

Finding out we are pregnant is, obviously, great news. Happiness. My heart still feels for those who are still waiting.

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me. Please continue to pray that the anxiety and depression that has nearly crippled me stays far away. I have now gotten some morning sickness and today there was no anxiety or depression. I'll take physically ill over mentally ill any day!

I will update more as I continue to feel better. I am not getting on the computer very much right now so if you email me or Facebook or leave a comment and don't hear back right away, please don't take it personally. I'm just really feeling lead to be with my family and my Jesus. I've cancelled any outside activities for the rest of January so that I can heal and get back to the woman I want to be.

P.S. I apologize for not emailing more people directly. I'm really taking a siesta from computer life as much as I can.

You’re Kidding! Medical Clown Increases Pregnancy Rates with IVF

A study of 229 Israeli women undergoing in-vitro fertilization (IVF) to treat infertility found that a 15-minute visit from a trained “medical clown” immediately after the embryos were placed in the womb increased the chance of pregnancy to 36%, compared with 20% for women whose embryo transfer was comedy-free.

Read more by clicking here. 

Call from Mayo

Talk about making your stomach drop.

Got a call from a doctor at the Infertility Department at Mayo Clinic today. He said that they received the images I flew all the way to Germany to have taken. He said the quality of the images was not fantastic but that they think they saw a polyp in my uterus. Then he said they would often recommend ceasing to move forward on the transfer and instead having surgery to remove the polyp (which is usually very benign and not a problem other than possibly decreasing chances of the IVF transfer being successful.)

I listened to all he had to say and then I asked him the million dollar question. Do I have to have the surgery to remove the polyp? 

The answer? No. He, in fact, said that in our situation, coming from halfway across the world, trying to time this nearly perfectly, with so many minuscule factors at play, he would understand if we just wanted to "let nature take its course." He said they could lower our chances of success but that the research is still very unclear as to whether that is actually true.

We both shared a laugh. This isn't very "natural" and my infertility and pregnancy journey has gone far from the way anyone would have thought. I told him that I'd need to talk to my husband but that I was pretty sure we'd take our chances by leaving the polyp in place. (JB agreed ... without hesitation.)

So for now, things are moving forward as scheduled. Please join me in praying that when I get to Mayo  later this month and they do an ultrasound before the transfer that everything looks okay. He said there is a very good chance that there won't be a polyp at all. (That the images were just too difficult to read.) But we do need my uterine lining to be a certain thickness to proceed and some other things need to come together to assure a successful transfer. This call reminded me that we aren't guaranteed the ending to the story that we'd like so your prayers for the Lord's hand to move along this journey would be greatly appreciated.

Stay tuned ....

Perspective

This fifth cycle of IVF has given me perspective. And not because it is the fifth time. But because it is the first time I am doing this IVF thing as a mother.

The other day, JB forgot to give me my lupron shot before he left for work. He had to talk me through it via Facebook. I sat there giving myself a shot in the thigh with Abigail attempting to steal my alcohol swab at my side.

Way different than when I did this a half decade ago.

The first four times I did IVF, I was childless. As a result, I just assumed that the range of emotions I was fighting during each attempt were due to not being a mother. I figured I was just sad that I didn't have children. But this cycle, I am fighting some incredible emotions. And I have three children.

It wasn't until I found myself sitting on my living room sofa this past week, crying, for no reason at all, that everything came into focus.

Perspective.

I have it now.

There was a reason that the difficult emotions surrounding infertility were worse when I was in the midst of a cycle. There was a reason that it got better when I went off medications in between cycles.  There was a reason I cried all the time and was exhausted and couldn't sleep.

Stinkin' hormones.

Not only do I have perspective now, but JB does too. He's not just a medical student this time. He's a doctor who counsels patients regularly who are dealing with hormones or depression. He is able to talk me through this with amazing clarity. He's able to remind me why I am feeling this way and what I can do about it.

So what can I do?

• I can exercise. Exercise helps me to feel better nearly instantly, however, the results are short-lived. (Within two hours after completion, I find myself a bit down again.)
• I can get good rest. Good sleep at night and a good nap is tremendously helpful.
• I can remind myself that this is a temporary emotion. That this will end. That I have to do this without the aid of anti-depressants because of the pregnancy aspect connected with it. And that at the conclusion of this process, I will return to the Wendi I know and love. I must trust (and know) that she will be back.
• I can share. I continue to find it important to let the people around me know that I am a bit down. I don't need to worry about assuring friends and family that "this has nothing to do with you."
• I can educate. I continue to feel a responsibility, especially through my blog, to educate. I don't want to portray an inaccurate picture of myself on the blog or in person. I want people to see infertility and motherhood and adoption in the proper light. In the proper, perspective, if you will.

Pumping hormones into your body will result in a person getting emotional. Depressed maybe. In actuality, doing it without children gave me a reason for the emotions. Doing it with children gives me no reason for the emotions. I'm just crying for no reason at all. Sad for reasons that have no source.

And I'm okay with that. I can be honest about that. I can share about that. And I hope it will allow others to share and be honest and open as well.

IVF # 5 Update: Just the shot now

I have taken my last BCP (birth control pill). I gained eight pounds while on the pill but am hopeful that the absence of it in the system will decrease the bloating and return me to my normal weight.

Now, I am just taking lupron shots. My mood has been quite low and I had one killer migraine, but overall, I am hanging in there quite nicely. The shots are a breeze, physically speaking. I just really dislike the low emotions that I am currently fighting.

My husband is a gem. He talks me through the range of emotions, reminding me why I am feeling the way I am. That there is a chemical reason my body is not balanced. I know he is weary. But he never acts that way. I know he wants his normal wife back. But he never says so. I truly don't know how I could do life without him. He is my best friend and keeps me from tumbling over the edge of cliffs on a regular basis.

Shane and Linda went home yesterday. It was wonderful to spend Thanksgiving with them, and my kids were thoroughly blessed by having two extra people to love on them.

As for us, we are preparing to head home ot America in just a few weeks. JB and I will spend a week there and then leave the kids and head up to Rochester, Minessota for a week to complete the IVF protocol. We'll return to Florida for a closing week before returning tot he island.

(Packing for one of the hottest places in the USA in December and one of the coldest places in the USA in December is not easy. Thank goodness I don't have to do the cold part for three kids too!)

Hanging in there right now ...

Let the games begin (for the 5th time)

The picture at left is just one of the four medicines I will take during IVF #5. This drug, Lupron, is taken via shot. (If you notice the yellow warnings on the bag, it is actually a chemotherapy drug!) I will also be taking progesterone and estrace. I have been on the birth control pill for the last three months.

Tomorrow, I will begin my Lupron shots. Five days after that, I will go off of the birth control pill. Shortly after that I will begin estrace. Progesterone will start around the time of my transfer.

I am continually having to remind myself that we are indeed going to do this thing again. It absolutely seems surreal. Some of the protocols have changed in the last five years. (The greatest change of all is that the progesterone, which was once in a very painful shot of thick oil that went into your lower back, is now in suppository form! Hip hip horray for tiny miracles.) But for the most part, things are the same now as they were then. I'm just a different person now. In many ways.

The results of my fancy uterus-blowing-up-ultrasound completed in Germany, initially appeared to be spot-on and very positive, but I am waiting for the CD of images to arrive in Rochester. (Hurricane Sandy has really screwed up postal services from our neck of the woods to the United States.) I'm patiently waiting to hear Mayo confirm what the doctor at Landstuhl already told me: that my uterus looks "good to go."

As of tomorrow morning, IVF #5 has officially begun!

To and From Germany

I left for Germany on Wednesday morning. I arrived Wednesday night. On Thursday I had the ultrasound done. On Friday I was on a flight headed back to the Azores. Whew!

Ultimately, I might have stayed longer in Germany. However, most days of the week, a flight into Lisbon from our island requires an overnight stay before you can board a plane for Germany. This was therefore the only way I could work it out so that I didn't have to spend the night in Lisbon. (Side note: Lisbon is actually written and pronounce Lisboa by the Portuguese.)

My travel day on Thursday was simply perfect. The planes were far from packed, and I had plenty of leg room (always a key ingredient to me having a good flight.) I had a two hour flight to Lisboa, a four hour layover there, and then a three hour flight to Germany. But without children, that time was so well spent. I read nearly an entire book and got to work on my writing a ton! I also had time in Lisboa to have an awesome lunch at Harrod's Cafe which included a ham and cheese quiche and cup of fruit followed by two scoops of awesome ice cream! Man, traveling without children is a totally different experience.

I couldn't help but thinking, while I was traveling, how different my life is from the one I grew up living. Who would have thought I'd be hopping from country to country (and feel totally normal doing it?) I don't think anything of spending a day in the airports of various countries! Crazy! I also was reminded how very different it is to travel in Europe in comparison to Turkey. Everyone speaks English in Europe. Announcements are made in both languages. And the food and smells and sights are familiar. Traveling in Turkey was constantly stressful. You just never knew if you were going to the right place or if someone was going to change a rule on you or cut you in line at the last minute. While I miss Turkey in many ways, I don't miss the lack of organization and feeling of uncertainty.

I was so blessed that Shane and Linda live here in Germany. They picked me up from the airport late on Friday night. By the time we had made the nearly 90 minute drive back to the Base and their home a few minutes outside of the Base, it was actually Thursday morning. I managed just four hours of sleep before Linda had to head to work and Shane took me to Landstuhl hospital (where I had Abigail).

Shane dropped me off, and I spent the rest of the morning getting stuff done. I had to take a pregnancy test which, for some reason, was not in the laboratory computer system. So it took ninety minutes to wait for someone to put that order in. I then grabbed some breakfast at the hospital cafeteria before heading to radiology for my appointment.

The ultrasound ... sucked. There's no good way to explain it. It was uncomfortable, painful, and memory-ridden. But when it was over, it was over, and I could put it out of my mind and move on to other things. The tech and doctor were incredibly sweet women who were in love with our story of adoption and pregnancy and why we were going back for these embryos. I am amazed how frequently I am able to share my testimony of grief, sorrow, and blessings-- always mentioning the Lord's presence in the entire story.

While waiting for a CD-Rom of the pictures from my ultrasound, I quickly checked my email and saw that one of my friends from Lajes was in the hospital there at Landstuhl. She gave me her room number just in case I had time to stop in. I had thirty minutes to kill so I was able to chat with her and give her some company for a few minutes.

Then I picked up the CD, Shane picked me up, and we headed to Macaroni Grill for lunch. Unfortunately, my appetite the rest of the day was less-than-stellar. I was so cramped and uncomfortable from having had my uterus blown up with a balloon and pain medicine wasn't making it better. So I didn't get to really "pig out" in Germany on my favorite foods as I had hoped. But the company was wonderful!

Linda left to go back to work and Shane headed home. I went shopping with Veronica's older sister English for a few hours. She lives in Germany (her husband is stationed there) and was totally up for helping me accomplish my errands! I went to the huge BX and the huge Commissary and picked up all kinds of things that we had been unable to get on the island. (One of those things were a couple of extra pacifiers for Abigail which Bonnie, Shane and Linda's awesome dog, promptly ate later that evening. I guess Scrubs isn't the only dog who loves pacifiers.)

English returned me to Shane and Linda's. I got a little nap. And then we headed out for a delightful German dinner. We took a picture there. I need to try and get that from Linda.

I got to sleep until 8am! Shane made breakfast, and by 10am, Linda and I were on the road, headed back to the Frankfurt airport. It ended up working out perfectly since Linda had the day off and was meeting a friend outside of Frankfurt for a road trip.

My second travel day was as good as the first. I had a shorter stop in Lisbon this time and decided to eat McDonalds -- something I haven't had in close to a year. Yuck. Not sure why I thought that would taste good. It didn't.

I got to the airport at 7:45pm and walked out with my luggage to see all three of my kiddos waiting for me. Abigail was smiling so big, and as I held her and bent down to kiss the boys, Connie and JB said she just couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. The only bad thing was that she cried the entire way home because I wasn't able to hold her.

Now it's Saturday morning. Great trip. And so wonderful to be back with the people I love the mostest in the whole world.

IVF #5

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

This will be my new mantra as I prepare to do this whole IVF thing again. It was sent to me today by one of my "infertility buddies". We all have them. People who can help keep us on track because they truly know what is involved in the process of infertility treatments.

As I prepare for my fifth try with invitro fertilization, I find myself a bundle of nerves -- much more tightly wound than I thought I would be. I have "done did" everything there is to do with infertility treatments when I was in Minnesota from 2003-2007. I have survived every invasive procedure and type of exam and blood work and shot and personal request known to man. 

If I've been there and done that and am as seasoned a veteran as you are likely to find, why am I all knotted up thinking of going back to Germany, walking into radiology, and doing it all again? It should be simple this time. Germany is the start to it starting again. In December, I will be back in those same offices in Minnesota.

I must strive to forget the former things and not dwell on the past. God is doing a new thing!

Amen.

Can it be? Me? In Germany?

At long last, it appears, I will in fact be heading to Ramstein, for the sonohysterography I need to complete our fifth round of invitro fertilization (IVF). As always, I don't give exact dates on my blog, but I do leave in the near future.

After the military flight I was supposed to take last month was cancelled two different times, I finally opted to buy a commercial ticket to Germany. It was money I didn't want to spend, but I found a very good deal and decided to just kep things as simple as possible.

We also decided that I would go without any children. Originally, I was going to take Abigail with me -- so as to share the love a bit and not leave Connie and JB with all three kids. But that was when I was flying military and would get a seat for Abigail. With two flights and a long layover in Lisbon, Portugal, there was no way I was going to: (a) pay for a second seat for the baby or (b) take her as a lap child. This means that Connie and JB will have all three kids for three days. And mostly Connie.

The other family physician on the island, our good friend Nick, is out-of-town right now as well. This means JB is carrying an extra large load at work. No getting home early or even a lunch break at home for him. Instead, Connie will be basically running the entire show for the three days I will be gone. She can totally handle it. But it is a lot.

I must be honest. I do not want to go for this procedure at all. I am excited to see my friends Shane and Linda and am so blessed to have them there in Germany to help me get around. (Shane took two whole days off of work to help me! How cool is that?) But I just do not want to start all the invasive stuff that doing IVF entails. I guess you could say I'm nervous. I know I've done this before. But I don't want to do it again. It gives me a stomach ache to think about it. How did I do this for five years?!

I've also been dealing with a lot of hormonal issues from the active-only birth control pills that they have put me on. The pills helped stop the migraines I was suffering from prior to going on it, but they've come with their own slew of issues. My body and hormones have just never been a good combination.

If you could pray for peace and that everything would go according to plans, I would greatly appreciate it. I know ... we know ... that the Lord is in this. We know He is leading us. We just have to take one step at a time. Even if those steps are a bit shaky.

Germany cancelled -- again

My military flight hop over to Germany was cancelled ... again. This time, however, there is no new flight scheduled to replace the one I am not on.

So I'll have to cancel my appointment at Landstuhl on Thursday. And, I'll have to figure out another way to get to Germany before mid-November (when this whole IVF-thing will be getting under way.) These rotators only run every 2-3 months so there won't be another one in time. I am so bummed to not be able to see Shane and Linda, and Veronica's older sister English, and my friend Sarah Green. I am also bummed to have to now pay for a flight to get to Germany and figure out a time to do it. But I am not the only who is bummed. There are most likely people stuck in Germany waiting to get here. These things have a domino effect, and I am sure many people are feeling the frustrations on this one.

I don't do well with abrupt changes in plans, but I am handling this well. For now, I'm staying on the island, waiting for Joni's arrival this weekend. I'm also going to be unpacking our suitcase!

In other news ... Jump on over to my friend Joia's blog to congraulate her on completing her first ever triathalon. I am so excited for her. (And I have a feeling this won't be her last one -- they are addicting!)

Guest Post: IVF Boosters

I have been having more and more people contact me. They want to know if they can write a guest post for my blog. The answer is, yes you can. I welcome guest contributors. You can email me at wendi@wendikitsteiner.com with your story of choice and a photo of yourself. Any topic that does not contradict my personal convictions is welcome.

 

The following post is by Catie Keeler. I do not know Catie personally but she contacted me to see if I would welcome a post dealing with ways to improve IVF success rates. Sounded great to me! 

 

While I believe that no matter what you do, infertility treatments may not work for you ... or despite everything you don't do, they do work, I never think it hurts to be thinking of how to be as healthy as possible before you begin a treatment cycle. I personally used acupuncture with one of my cycles and found it very helpful -- even though the result was not in our favor. Lowering stress and eating well are never bad things, even if they don't produce the desired outcome.

 

I am including this article now because JB and I are actually preparing to return for our embryos in December. I am not emotionally ready to write more about this yet ... but stay tuned. I am definitely beginning to think about the things I actually can control and do to keep myself at my healthiest as we prepare to give these little babies a chance at life. Hard to believe it has been nearly five years since our fourth failed IVF attempt. Even harder to believe we are going to do it again.

 

Natural Ways to Enhance the Success of IVF

In-vitro fertilization (IVF) is often the measure of last resort for women struggling to get pregnant naturally, many times offering the last chance to have a baby of their own. It is also an involved process that is very expensive and doesn't offer any guarantee of success.

 

The process is already emotionally fraught, and the chance of failure can make it even harder. Fortunately, there are some natural ways to help improve the chances of success. Though there are never any guarantees, these natural methods may be able to help improve your odds with IVF:

 

Reduce Dietary Toxins: Common dietary toxins like alcohol, caffeine, food preservatives and additives, and xenoestrogens (estrogens found in plants and chemicals) can disrupt hormonal balance and make it more difficult for you to conceive. Reducing or eliminating these toxins from your diet may improve your chances of becoming pregnant.

 

Reduce Stress: Stress from your job, your relationship, your financial status, and even your attempts to become pregnant can also disrupt your hormonal balance and make it more difficult for you to become pregnant. Undergoing IVF often adds to your stress levels, making it more difficult to find ways to relax. However, activities such as meditation, acupuncture, or even just spending time with family and friends can help you counteract that stress and heal your body.

 

Exercise More: Exercise not only helps to reduce stress, but it also helps to increase "feel  good" hormones that improve mood and wellness. Exercise also helps to strengthen your body and improve circulation, helping to enhance the overall functioning of all the systems in your body. All of these benefits enhance your fertility, making your chances of conception through IVF better.

 

Sleep More: You need at least 8 or 9 hours of sleep each night in order for your body to rest and restore itself. Lack of sleep contributes to increased stress levels and an overall reduction in your body's efficiency. Many of your internal systems begin to break down, including digestion, metabolism, and fertility. Making sure you are getting at least the minimum amount of sleep each night -- and more if you need it -- can improve your chances of conception.

 

Increase Healthy Eating: Not only should you be eliminating harmful substances from your diet, but you should also be increasing the healthy foods and nutrients included in your diet. Ensuring that you get the right vitamins and nutrients in your diet -- such as B vitamins, magnesium, and others -- can help you to improve your fertility. Though there are many supplements you can take to ensure you are consuming enough of the vitamins most closely tied to fertility, simply eating a healthy diet that is loaded with fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, and whole grains will be enough to improve your health and your fertility.

 

When you are grappling with infertility, it may seem like nothing you do can make a difference. You may have struggled for years, and IVF is your last chance at having a baby yourself. However, following these tips may be able to improve your fertility and increase your chances of success.

Catie Keeler is the primary researcher and writer for mortgagerates.info. Her most recent accomplishments include graduating from the University of North Carolina in Chapel with a degree in business and communications. Her currect for for the site involves: jumbo mortgage rates and mortgage rates florida.

Octamom Doc Out

I felt incredibly satisfied to read this story online: 'Octomom' Doctor Loses License .

Dr. Michael Kamrava implanted TWELVE embryos into Nadya Sulemen. The result was octuplets. The article linked above states: "National guidelines issued by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine specify that no more than two embryos are to be used for in vitro treatments for a healthy woman under 35, the AP reported. Suleman was less than 35 years old at the time of her fertility treatments."

To put this into perspective, I did invitro four times. The first, second, and third times, Mayo Clinic put two embryos back in. Only after three failed attempts did they agree to increase that number to three embryos.

"According to Louis Keith, M.D. and Donald Keith, M.B.A. in Multiple Birth: Epidemiology, Perinatal Outcomes and Long Term Sequelae, 'all multiple pregnancies are high risk' and those risks increase with the number of infants in a given pregnancy. There is an inherent higher frequency of pre-term labor and low birthweight for all multiples, and with that comes a host of raised chances for health problems."*

According to the website of Parents of Multiple Births Association of Canada, it is estimated that ''Overall 15-17% of multiple births result from infertility treatments, however, it is estimated that 60% of triplets, 90% of quadruplets and 99% of quintuplets result from these treatments."

The fact that a doctor would implant twelve embryos in a woman who had previously conceived via invitro is an atrocity! It is careless. It is terrible. And I think the fact that he lost his license is commendable and necessary. Twelve embryos is horrific. I cannot begin to list the adjectives that describe this act by a member of the medical community.

Details from this post came from the following source: click here.