Mothers in Waiting

 

I don't even know what to say or how to say it. 

I just know that when Crystal Bowman first contacted me, asking for my help in bringing together women whose hearts had broken by infertility, I didn't give it much thought. Sure I'd help her. Sure I knew a lot of women who had dealt with this. But this still had a long way to go. It had to be written and find a publisher and be accepted and then be printed. 

(I honestly didn't really think it would happen.) I know how these things go. Crystal warned me too. Getting a book published isn't a little thing. 

So now, many moons later, to be holding this book in my hands? My emotions are swirling. I curled up on the window seat in the corner of my kitchen and begged God for the kids to be quiet for a few minutes longer so I could keep reading. 

I read the story of our Grama Joni. I read the story of the four little boys she lost. 

I read the story of my new friend LaShea. About the biological children she never held but the adopted sons that grew just as closely to her heart. 

Then JB came home. He saw the book. He told the kids, "Your Mommy wrote a chapter in this book!" And they seemed excited. And they asked if they could read it. And I said yes knowing that it might elicit a lot of questions about the time that they never existed and I only dreamed that they might.

I still dreaming of writing "my own book" but truly, this amazes me. To see the purpose in my pain. So many years have gone by since I started this Blog and started penning my pen.

And now I get to see my pen on paper. 

I'm smiling,