However, this will probably be the last time I mention anything related to not feeling well on my blog. I will let you all know when I am feeling back to normal, but otherwise, you can simply stand alongside me with prayers. You can pray for good sleep, extra-big doses of daily endurance, and healing from the headaches and the nausea that have knocked me on my rear end a bit.
However, I am choosing to turn my focus to other things.
What I instead feel "lead" to do is write my blog for those of you struggling. My plight is not a hard one. It is for a time. A brief season. Maybe it will last one more day. Maybe a little longer. Tomorrow may be the end. While sometimes it is hard to remember when you are in the midst of the storm, it is important to remember that storms do not last forever. But some of you, are dealing with plights that might be a bit longer, a bit harder, a bit more difficult to see your way out of.
If it is a daily struggle to remember the truth behind my plight, how much more difficult must it be for someone facing a terminal illness diagnosis, the death of someone they love, the news of something much more tragic that effects there body, soul and/or spirit.
Isn't that what the whole "theme" of my blog has always been about? The scripture, plastered on the blog itself is from Habakuk chapter 3.
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
And the next verse continues this encouragement:
The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.
In my life right now, there is no empty fig tree or vines. There are simply some, difficulties, if you will, in my early pregnancy. Far from that of the Jews in concentration camps. Of POW's. Of victims of war or violence.
Some of you, out there, are dealing with some, difficulties, if you will, and the vines are empty. You are fighting an illness. You are grieving a loss. You are hurting. You are healing. You are lonely. You are empty.
It is for YOU I plan to write my blog over the next few weeks, months, years -- however long. For me and for you. While I encourage myself in the day-to-day life, I hope to encourage you.
There will still be glimpses into our family life. Nothing much will change. But you will find even more encouragement. (I hope.) Scriptures that are ministering to me as I attempt to be the best mom and wife I can be while not feeling the person I want to be.
I am so blessed. So blessed in so many ways.
- Blessed to have this tiny life growing inside me.
- Blessed to have my Aunt Connie here for a season that only God could know was coming.
- Blessed to have a husband who is stronger than any other man I know.
- Blessed to have friends both near and far encouraging me.
- Blessed to have the three children (and fourth) that the Lord has given me.
It is "difficult" to not be the Wendi I know is in there. I would usually consider myself a "Tigger" in personality and energy level. I'm not Tigger right now. More Pooh-like. But that's okay. It's okay. I'm okay. God's okay. We're okay.
And as I encourage myself, I hope to encourage you too.
I cannot "listen" to the worry in my mind. That someone might misunderstand my motives. That anyone might think me complaining. That anyone might think I am ungrateful. I know my heart. And as I write this blog and process my thoughts, I must trust that the core of Wendi will be evident.
Blessings everyone.
3 comments:
For what it is worth, I never read you as complaining or ungrateful. Everyone's daily struggles are relative to them and the truth is that for you right now things are difficult and different and you have every right to take moments to feel upset about that for yourself. So I will continue to pray that you feel better physically and that your pregnancy goes very well and that you are back to being Tigger as soon as you are able. :-)
I repeat what the previous poster said: everyone's struggles are relative, and everyone has the right to feel frustrated and even dragged down by them. Just because someone else is experiencing something worse doesn't mean your feelings are invalidated!
I have had to CHOOSE to be more positive these last few weeks. It's difficult to be positive when so many negatives are in your face, needing your immediate attention. But, if it's any help, this choice has certainly helped me feel a bit better. I hope it will become more evident as time passes. It doesn't mean that I can't feel and express anger, sadness, frustration, etc... it just means that I am choosing to be more positive, which I hope will help me choose my negative battles a bit better. =)
I hope that your choice will help you be and feel better, too! Good luck!
Thank you for these comments. They mean A LOT!
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