I'd love to hear from my blog readers. If you could go back, what would you tell your 18 year old self? Please share in the comments and feel free to be anonymous if it is too personal to sign a name.
A very easy one. My sixty-one year old self would reach back and gave my eighteen year old self a good shake and say listen to your mother. Whether it was "don't smoke," "study more" or "don't buy stocks on margin," she was always right!
I would have the "sex doesn't make them like you" talk with myself with lots of emphasis on certain aspects of the speech. I would tell myself that the whole "every mistake leads you to the right person" train of thought is not exactly accurate--meaningless one or two-night stands are not life altering enough (in my case anyway) to impact being introduced to my future husband--the only thing those mistakes will lead to is embarrassing memories and regret. I would also tell myself that after attending a college in a different state for one semester and returning home because of being homesick to buckle down and actually finish school--10 years later 100+ credits and no degree @ 30yrs old is lame.(But I would not tell my 18yr old self to stay out of state-even tho that would have guaranteed completing the 4yr degree in 4 yrs--that would alter the introduction to my hushand).
Don't take your family for granted. Life is far too short and you never know when those people will be gone. Cherish them and make sure they know how much you love them.
take care of yourself. this means don't smoke, don't drink too much, watch what you eat, stay active and take pride in your appearance. taking pride in your appearance does NOT mean that you are vain.
be assertive when necessary. stand up for what you believe in. if you don't, nobody else will, and then time will pass and you will regret what you haven't done, what you aren't, or where you haven't gone.
if there is something in this world that you can't live without (like children, your family, etc), be sure that your future spouse completely understands and accepts this. if it becomes non-negotiable, it could make you both unhappy.
Not to be so serious. Life is going to be a roller coaster and when you think that life is over and there isn't anything better that is when you really do get it better.
Don't 'shush' that still small voice in order to please people. Be very careful who I let speak into my life and what and who I spend my time with. I would let myself know how vital seed,time, and harvest is. What I am today is a sum total of seeds I sowed or allowed to be sowed in to me so be careful.
My 40 year old self would tell her that she is loved. Loved long, hard, and forever. That her parents don't get it and they might never get it. That the way she was raised was not the way to go and is not what God wants for His daughter. I would tell her to trust her instinct. That yes there IS something better to look forward to, externally and internally. That looking towards God would actually help her find herself...and not to look at men, drugs, and work to find a sense of self-worth.
I would tell myself a few things. First, consider going away to college. Second, go directly to grad school - even with no one showing you how to do it, you'd figure it out. If that meant going to one of those schools you wanted to go to then do it - you're going to end up out-of-state anyway! Third - Don't date that guy... Fourth - You may not be able to have kids. In fact, you will not be able to control everything in your life. Though it is good to plan and work against that plan (rather than waiting for things to fall in your lap) it is best to earnestly seek out what the Lord's plan is and follow that. You'll be MUCH happier in the end.
The reality of all this though is that my 18-year-old self probably wouldn't have listened. Ok, maybe she would have listened to the encouraging parts. I do wonder though how much of my experiences I would like to trade - there are some for sure, like dating "that guy" that I'd like to do without, but for the most part so many of the things I've become are due to the choices I made (or were made for me) and if I went down a different path I would be sacrificing some of the beautiful things I have now.
9 comments:
A very easy one. My sixty-one year old self would reach back and gave my eighteen year old self a good shake and say listen to your mother. Whether it was "don't smoke," "study more" or "don't buy stocks on margin," she was always right!
I would have the "sex doesn't make them like you" talk with myself with lots of emphasis on certain aspects of the speech. I would tell myself that the whole "every mistake leads you to the right person" train of thought is not exactly accurate--meaningless one or two-night stands are not life altering enough (in my case anyway) to impact being introduced to my future husband--the only thing those mistakes will lead to is embarrassing memories and regret.
I would also tell myself that after attending a college in a different state for one semester and returning home because of being homesick to buckle down and actually finish school--10 years later 100+ credits and no degree @ 30yrs old is lame.(But I would not tell my 18yr old self to stay out of state-even tho that would have guaranteed completing the 4yr degree in 4 yrs--that would alter the introduction to my hushand).
In 2004 Trust God with how many children to have. Scott
Don't take your family for granted. Life is far too short and you never know when those people will be gone. Cherish them and make sure they know how much you love them.
i would tell my 18 year old self a few things:
take care of yourself. this means don't smoke, don't drink too much, watch what you eat, stay active and take pride in your appearance. taking pride in your appearance does NOT mean that you are vain.
be assertive when necessary. stand up for what you believe in. if you don't, nobody else will, and then time will pass and you will regret what you haven't done, what you aren't, or where you haven't gone.
if there is something in this world that you can't live without (like children, your family, etc), be sure that your future spouse completely understands and accepts this. if it becomes non-negotiable, it could make you both unhappy.
Not to be so serious. Life is going to be a roller coaster and when you think that life is over and there isn't anything better that is when you really do get it better.
Don't 'shush' that still small voice in order to please people.
Be very careful who I let speak into my life and what and who I spend my time with.
I would let myself know how vital seed,time, and harvest is. What I am today is a sum total of seeds I sowed or allowed to be sowed in to me so be careful.
My 40 year old self would tell her that she is loved. Loved long, hard, and forever. That her parents don't get it and they might never get it. That the way she was raised was not the way to go and is not what God wants for His daughter. I would tell her to trust her instinct. That yes there IS something better to look forward to, externally and internally. That looking towards God would actually help her find herself...and not to look at men, drugs, and work to find a sense of self-worth.
I would tell myself a few things. First, consider going away to college. Second, go directly to grad school - even with no one showing you how to do it, you'd figure it out. If that meant going to one of those schools you wanted to go to then do it - you're going to end up out-of-state anyway! Third - Don't date that guy... Fourth - You may not be able to have kids. In fact, you will not be able to control everything in your life. Though it is good to plan and work against that plan (rather than waiting for things to fall in your lap) it is best to earnestly seek out what the Lord's plan is and follow that. You'll be MUCH happier in the end.
The reality of all this though is that my 18-year-old self probably wouldn't have listened. Ok, maybe she would have listened to the encouraging parts. I do wonder though how much of my experiences I would like to trade - there are some for sure, like dating "that guy" that I'd like to do without, but for the most part so many of the things I've become are due to the choices I made (or were made for me) and if I went down a different path I would be sacrificing some of the beautiful things I have now.
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