Minnesotan Humor

Thanks to Cassie O. who sent these to me! While these are obviously sarcastic, there is a LOT of truth in the statements. Minnesotans are crazy. No matter how cold it actually is, this was not as bad as 20 years ago. No matter how much snow falls, there was more snow 20 years ago. No matter how much your nose feels like it might fall off, you are a whimp and they are tough. Enjoy!

• 60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.
• 50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Duluth sunbathe.
• 40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.
• 32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
• 20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
• 15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
• Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.
• 10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
• 25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door. (True!)
• 40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
• 100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
• 460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Minnesota star t saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
• 500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.