Tribe Life Tuesday: Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~ 

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

Happy TribeLife Tuesday. 

We have all been given this amazing gift of feeling. We get to feel lots of exhilarating emotions such as joy, happiness, love, gratitude, and more. At the same time, we must face the kryptonite to those emotions like sorrow, pain, grief, hurt, and disappointment.

Growing up, I certainly had no problem expressing my feelings, but once life started happening to me I began to reel my expression in a bit, and the more life happened the less I wanted to feel. The desire to feel was replaced by the longing to guard myself. So how do we balance the need to protect ourselves with our right to express our feelings?

It’s human nature to deflect pain; we do our best to avoid getting hurt. There is a place of safety we all wish we could stay in, sheltering ourselves from the shrapnel that life has a way of throwing at us. Unfortunately, authentic relationships cannot happen if we stay in that place. Truthfully, safety doesn’t always mean healthy. When we shield ourselves from pain we shield ourselves from joy.

At my core I want to do well with this life I’ve been given. I earnestly seek to do as much as I can to keep my heart and soul healthy. This is a continual pursuit for me and it’s often a struggle. It’s an unsteady bridge I must cross. On one side, the side I am on, is the kryptonite, on the other side is the antidote, and what’s in between is a rickety, crumbly, old bridge, and it’s the only option to get to freedom. 

So here are some things to consider this week:

• When something great happens to me, what is my first response
• When something hard happens to me, what is my first response? 
• Who is the first person I call when I receive great news? Bad news
• Do I have a deep, meaningful relationship with someone in my family? 
• Outside my family?
• Am I happy? If not, why?

Below is a beautiful manifesto that I keep with me. I invite you to partake:

MANIFESTO OF THE BRAVE AND BROKENHEARTED 

There is no greater threat to the critics 

and cynics and fearmongers 

Than those of us who are willing to fall 

Because we have learned how to rise. 

With skinned knees and bruised hearts; 

We choose owning our stories of struggle, 

Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending. 

When we deny our stories, they define us. 

When we run from struggle, we are never free. 

So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye. 

We will not be characters in our stories. 

Not villains, not victims, not even heroes. 

We are the authors of our lives. 

We write our own daring endings. 

We craft love from heartbreak, 

Compassion from shame, 

Grace from disappointment, 

Courage from failure. 

Showing up is our power. 

Story is our way home. Truth is our song. 

We are the brave and brokenhearted. 

We are rising strong.

--Brene Brown

Thank you for reading. 

See you next Tuesday!

Carrie

*Please note that content in guest blogs is not necessarily shared by the station manager (i.e. Wendi!)

Review: Whistlefritz -- Educator's Spanish Collection

My husband and I felt very strongly that we wanted to include a foreign language in our homeschooling curriculum. I therefore was very excited that I had the opportunity to review the Educator's Spanish Collection from Whistlefritz. This is a great company, and they offer a great product. I really encourage you to take the time to read my review, and then to go and check them out at their website or at:

• Facebook
• Twitter
• YouTube

First of all, I should tell you that this is an immersion program which means that the entire program is in Spanish. Our Educator's Spanish Collection included:

• A Lesson Plans Book
• 5 videos
• 3 music CD's
• Matching Cards game

Matching Cards game

Here is a picture of my second son, Sidge after getting a match in the card game! We really enjoyed playing with this card game and getting to match different Spanish words:

Lesson Plans Book

The Lesson Book includes 40 reproducible lessons provided in a hard copy book. One of the lessons that my kids most enjoyed was Lesson 14: My family (Mi familia). I did this lesson with all four of my children (ages 3, 5, 8, and 9) but it was my oldest three who most "got it". (My three-year-old just loved being with us and trying!)

The lesson is written out very clearly for me. It includes:

• Description of lesson: This particular lesson teaches students vocabulary for the names of family members.
• Goal: This lesson was to teach students the names of family members.
• Objective: For students to be able to identify family members.
• Vocabulary: The words that they are trying to learn during this lesson.
• Materials: This includes materials that are provided by Whistlefritz and lists anything you might need yourself.
• Time: This particular lesson was 30-40 minutes.

It then breaks down the lesson into easy-to-follow bite-sized-nuggets. This one included:

• Focus and Review: This section provided an opportunity to prepare for this lesson by saying in Spanish who we are, where we live, and who are family members are. 
• Teacher Input: This is where I have students repeat different things after me about family members.
• Guided Practice: We looked at a photo album of family members, and I would ask the students "Who is this?" in Spanish. They would then answer in Spanish.
• Independent Practice: For the "Independent Practice" we  created family member puppets. We printed out colored pictures of people in our family (like Dad, Grampa, or Grama) and glued them to a popsicle stick. Then my kiddos would hold one of the popsicle sticks and role play conversations. 
• Closure: For the "Closure" we held up the popsicle sticks and identified individual family members. 
• Extension Activities: The suggested activity was to create a memory game with pictures of family members. We did this with our popsicle sticks!

Each one of the above-listed items is broken down clearly for me to go through with my children. It tells me what to say and what I should have the students do in each lesson. 

DVD's & CD's

In addition to the workbook filled with 40 lessons, my package included DVD's that my kids just loved. We actually set them up on the portable DVD player in our van and would watch them on the way to and from town.

There are also music CD's that we listened to as well. They had some great songs and music.

Here is a short clip to give you an idea what the videos are like:

Conclusion

Here's my overall take on the Educator's Spanish Collection from Whistlefritz: It's really great. The videos are very well done. My kids definitely enjoyed them. The Lesson Book is incredibly detailed and provides fantastic materials and ideas.

The only slight "note" I want to make about this program is the fact that it requires me (the teacher) to speak in Spanish as I go through the Lesson Book with my kids. This can be challenging if you are not at all familiar with the language. I think if you have some familiarity or have taken that language yourself, you'll be able to do it, but if you don't know anything about the language, it will be very challenging. I took many years of Spanish and also grew up in South Florida so I felt I had a good enough handle on the language to do a good job teaching my kids.

Overall, we were very pleased with the program, and think you will be too. As always, take the time to email me if you have more questions or want me to expand on my thoughts further!

My kiddos

About this time on my cruise, I imagine I'll be really missing my kids. What will I be missing?

Isaac: I love Isaac's passion for piano, rollercoasters, and geography. I love that he only smiles when I have really earned a smile. I love that he still has his favorite stuffed animals he sleeps with. I love that he accepts his adoption as just the way his story was written. I love his introspection and sweet hugs.

Sidge: I love Sidge's passion. He is passionate about everything he does. Everything is either the best or the worst (which is typical of me). I love how much he loves animals, and how fervently he loves his current dogs and the dog he lost. I love that he is so smart, and yet he has no idea that he is. I love how caring and sensitive he is.

Abigail: My blondie. This girl can melt you in one look, and she knows she has that power. I so enjoy watching her do ballet, and I love seeing her shyness conflicting with her want to not be shy anymore. I love that despite how shy she is, when she steps on a stage, all shyness is gone. I love how beautiful she is both on the inside and outside, and the sweet tears that she can turn on at a moment's notice.

Hannah: Hannah will always hold a very special section of my heart. I love how incredibly difficult and challenging, and determined, and outgoing, and intelligent she is. I love that she was born last but conceived first as so much of her acts like a firstborn. She loves hugs and kisses and just being with her family. She is truly a world-changer.

I miss them! But I still have one more day to cruise!

Reflecting

I have been unable to get the image of the four-wheeler accident out of my mind. I hope that this time on the cruise will clear my mind a bit. Every second of what happened is seared into my memory, and yet there are so many details that I can't make sense of in my mind.

Hannah has since told me that when the four-wheeler flipped, she was lying on her stomach and was under the seat. Abigail said her feet were stuck, and she was right next to me. I felt like I was incredibly stuck, and yet, somehow, after a matter of minutes, I wasn't stuck anymore. I can't figure out how that happened. While the seconds are imprinted, the exact details are very foggy.

I remember hearing my girls screaming. And I remember being absolutely helpless to help them. I remember thinking that one of them must have been seriously injured. That there was no way the machine hadn't landed on them and injured them significantly. I remember thinking that if I couldn't get out and get help, they could die where they were, and I was so stuck, I had no way to help them. I remember wanting to lift the four-wheeler but being absolutely unable to make it move.

And then it moved. Suddenly I was climbing out. And I have no idea how I went from totally stuck to totally unstuck. My mind doesn't have that answer.

Here's what I do know: I am not blaming myself for what happened. It happened. It was my fault. But I'm not going to spend time dwelling on that if I can help it. But in the end, I was STUPID! It was an incredibly stupid idea to have my kids on a four-wheeler at all since I barely knew what I was doing. It was stupid to not have helmets. It was stupid to go down into the field. I was uneducated and just didn't understand the power of the machine I was on. I am so blessed that I am able to learn the lesson with only some bruising and soreness.

JB took a lot from the accident too. He said that he wants to take some time to let the newness of what happened wear off, but we want to reevaluate the decisions we are making on the farm. Our lives are not worth this new lifestyle. And we will not forget that.

Yesterday I watched my two little girls walk together to Grama's house. They were both wearing a dress and had their hair down, and as Abigail started walking too fast, Hannah yelled: "Hey wait for the little sister." I thought: I could have lost them both. Or I could have lost one and they wouldn't have a sister. The thought is unbearable to me.

I feel some guilt that we were spared and other families have instead faced loss and grief. I do not pretend to understand the ways of life. I only know to trust God and keep walking forward.

But instead of dwelling on what I did wrong on that Sunday, I am using what happened to remind myself that I must be vigilant, prayerful, thoughtful, and listen to the Holy Spirit. When I am driving my car, when I am crossing a street, when I am working on the farm, I need to have my eyes open more, think before I act, and be more deliberate in the decisions I make.

As always, by keeping it real on this Blog, I pray that you can use what happened to me in your own life.

THINK.
PRAY.
PAUSE.
LISTEN.
LIVE.

Cruisin'

I'm writing this post two days early. Today, as this post goes live, I am on my cruise with three wonderful women: my sister-in-law, Danielle (who is married to JB's brother Matt), and my other sister-in-law, Adrienne (who is married to my brother Keith), as well as my friend Angelica. Angelica and I lived in Turkey together and have been friends ever since.

Of course there are many more wonderful women in my life, and this trip is not designed to exclude those women from my life or to make them feel less than wonderful. The circumstances just all came together for the four of us to do this to celebrate my 40th birthday, and so we are doing it.

I am so blessed to have a husband who encourages me to take breaks. I needed this break sooooo bad. We are cruisin' to the Bahamas on Royal Caribbean. And honestly, I could care less about any other detail. The only detail I care about is RELAXING!

I'll be posting a short post every day I am gone, but otherwise, wait for my return for this place to get hoppin' again.

(Can you tell I am GIDDY!)

Friday Funnies

While at the church playground, our friend Peter, who is a bigtime daredevil, made a running jump into a baby swing and then did some sort of tricky spin to land back on the ground. Hannah's jaw dropped to the ground and she announced to everyone: "Did you all see what Peter did? He jumped up in that swing and out and he didn't even die!"

*****

We've been working with Hannah on her lying. Here is a "funny" example of one 'bout this week:
Hannah: "Mommy, Ritter (our boy dog) ate the earrings that were on your end table."
Me: "He ate them?"
Hannah: "Yes, they went into his mouth and then he walked into the bathroom and jumped up on the sink and spit them out and they went down the drain."
Me: "Hannah, that isn't possible. Those were big earrings."
Hannah: "But I just sawed him do it."
Me: "Are you lying?"
Hannah: "No, I sawed it."
Me: "Hannah, you will not get in trouble if you tell the truth. Can you tell me the truth about where my earrings are?"
Hannah: "Yes. They fell behind your bed."
Sure enough, that's where they were when I looked! Little stinker came up with a whole story because the earrings fell where she couldn't reach them. Sigh ....

Contest Announcement

Are you ready for some summer fun and a chance to win prizes? 

SchoolhouseTeachers.com has just launched their first ever Reading Program, Outdoor Activity Program, Writing Contest, and Photography Contest! Get all the details and enter to win one of several $25 Amazon gift cards this summer! Hurry - contests end July 31, 2017. 

• Summer is an excellent time for diving deep into good books! SchoolhouseTeachers.com's Summer Reading Program is designed to encourage kids to read every day, plus they can enter to win one of two $25 Amazon gift cards.  The contest ends July 31, 2017. The more weeks you participate, the more chances you have to win. Come join the fun! See site for details.
• Summer is a fun time, but it can also be a hard time to keep kids entertained, especially when it’s too hot outside. It’s difficult to continually find new ideas for activities on top of everything else you do as a mom! Our outdoor activity program is here to help! Come grab our downloadable activity logs for fun ideas to do each day and enter to win one of two $25 Amazon gift cards.  The contest ends July 31, 2017. The more weeks you participate, the more chances you have to win. Come join the fun! See site for details.
• Send us your best writing composition! SchoolhouseTeachers.com is holding a writing contest for students between the ages of 6 and 18. Submissions can be fiction, non-fiction, or essay. Come join us and enter to win of of two $25 Amazon gift cards. We want to read what you create! Get the details and enter.
• Send us your best photograph! We want to see one moment or memory that stirs up the feelings of summertime. SchoolhouseTeachers.com is holding a photography contest for students between the ages of 6 and 18. Submissions can be any family-friendly subject matter. Come join us and enter to win of of two $25 Amazon gift cards. We want to see the moments you capture! Get the details and enter.

We Bought a Farm: All Alone

I wrote this before our four-wheeler accident. I had been keeping a daily journal of my experience running the farm for myself. I was pretty proud of myself before the big crash!

Wednesday
So here's how this has gone down.

JB's brother, Rob, is getting married in Mexico this weekend. It is at a very fancy resort and children were not invited to the wedding. (Which I get -- really!) After much discussions, it was determined that, obviously JB's parents needed to attend. (Duh!) And obviously, JB would attend. However, leaving all the kids and the farm to someone else just felt too stressful to us. We've left the kids many times. We've left the farm many times. But finding someone to watch all of those things was just too complicated for us. I wouldn't have been able to relax with so much going on back home. So, we opted for me to stay home with farm and kids and instead go on a cruise (next week!)

I knew this would be tough, but I didn't think about it too much until the day was upon us. Jacob, our intern, is here with me, but he is taking a holiday from Friday evening until Monday morning. This was arranged long ago and was incredibly important to him and unavoidable. This meant that I would be on my own for much of the weekend.

My main babysitter is on a two month mission trip which I, stupidly (ha ha!) encouraged her to go on. And my back-up sitter was booked.

So here I am.

• 1 mom
• 4 kids
• 2 dogs
• 7 ducks
• 5 geese
• 25 pigs
• 68 laying hens
• 250 new chicks
• 2 rams
• 14 ewes
• 12 baby lambs
• And a partridge in a pear tree

John was amazing. He tryied to get things set up for me as much as he could before he left. Jacob was equally helpful -- getting animals that needed moving in place before he took off. 

But in the end, no one could prepare me for the facts. I needed to keep all children and animals (less important but still valuable) alive for the weekend by myself.

A quick note: I had many people offer to help. However, they all had kids and families of their own. I really didn't feel like inconveniencing them was in my best interest. I also just didn't think that someone coming to help and having to bring their own children would be to my advantage. I instead decided to tackle this on my own.

I have decided to keep a diary of my time running The Bauernhof by myself since I don't post that I am living by myself before hand just for safety reasons.

Here we go.

Thursday

• JB and his parents leave the farm and head to the Knoxville airport. 
• JB and his parents take the mini van and leave me the more reliable Ford F-250.
• Abigail loses her mind with sadness at the loss of her Daddy. 
• One episode of Princess Sofia totally heals her sadness. 
• Jacob is here to do animals for the entire day. Sweet blessings.
• First up, Isaac is getting braces. 
• Yes, I scheduled this on the first day everyone leaves.
• No, I don't know why I did that.
• And Sidge is getting his braces tightened. 
• And I have to take all four kids to the orthodontist. 
• At some point, a "reward" is offered if Isaac does a good job getting his braces on.
• (This is after it is announced that Sidge was given a reward when his braces went on which I had completely forgotten about.)
• I do an "egg exchange" with a regular egg-buying customer in orthodontist parking lot.
• Isaac who has a very quick gag reflex, does a great job at the Orthodontist. 
• Now we need a reward. 
• I thought he'd want to pick out something online.
• But he says he'd like to go to the store.
• The only store in our town is ... Walmart.
• Egads.
• There is a gigantic lego set on sale for 50% off. 
• This NEVER happens with Legos.
• Isaac agrees to pay the difference to get this set.
• We go to Ingles to get some groceries. 
• Isaac swings open trucks door and dings up the door of a car next to us.
• Lady who owns the car is incredibly kind. 
• Whew!
• Take kids to Dairy Queen for ice cream because I want some.
• We stop at the Pharmacy to pick up Isaac's inhaler refill.
• They accidentally give me nebulizer refill which I don't realize until the next morning.
• Now off to tennis lessons.
• Three older kids attempt tennis while Hannah and I pass the time.
• Return home and make taco ring for the kiddos. 
• Bed!

Friday 
I have an appointment with two fellow Heritage teachers on Friday morning. Jacob is still around to do animals. While at the meeting, I decide to let my friend Kim's son, Avery, come over and play for awhile so Kim can focus on preparing for VBS next week. The kids have a blast, and the day is really uneventful. I know Jacob is leaving at 3pm though and from then on, it is just me. I work to get emotionally prepared. After Avery leaves, I put an episode of Sofia the First on for Hannah and run out to do the animal chores. When I return, I do what it takes to get through the evening:

• Dinner of champions: Dijorno pizza and macaroni and cheese with ice cream for dessert.
• Eat in front of the computer watching: Queen of Katwe. (Great movie although there were a few things I probably should have researched before showing to kiddos.)
• I manage to get kids into bed without crying. 
• (And I mean me crying -- each of the kids took turns crying about something.)
• Do a quick run to other side of property to put chickens to bed, only to discover they don't go to bed as early as I thought they did. I wait fifteen minutes until they go into egg-mobile, and I go home, shower, and collapse!

Saturday

This is going to be the day. It is just me on the farm with all kids for the whole day. I get out the four-wheeler and decide to do all my animal chores with four-wheeler to minimize time away from kids. Each time I leave, I get everyone occupied with something that will hopefully not allow them to fight with a sibling. (This always includes Princess Sofia for Hannah.) The animals are on the other side of the property right now (about a quarter mile away from the house) so I take a walkie-talkie with me and communicate with the kiddos the whole time I am gone. I take Hannah with me on one of the runs. (She loves riding on the four-wheeler.) I usually love doing animals on foot because I get a ton of exercise, but I have to go fast this day. 

While I am exhausted from taking care of the animals and the kiddos all day, the day truly goes perfectly. The only "glitch" was when I realized that carrying collected eggs on a four-wheeler does NOT work. (Just trust me on this.) But otherwise, I am a rock star. I zip around to get pigs and sheep and chickens fed and watered throughout the day. Everyone is alive, and everyone is happy. We even squeeze in a tennis "play day" and a quick trip to the grocery store to get Isaac (who is still uncomfortable in his braces) some more yogurt and jello. 

Around 4pm, our friends from Eglin, Philip and Kara and their two adorable children come into town. They are moving from Northern Florida to D.C. and make a quick stop at our farm on their way. I love to help out military families. I told Kara, "I don't know how you guys do this!" and she said, "Ummm, Wendi you did this with two overseas moves." Hmmmm .... I guess I did.

Sunday
I was never able to document anything. We said good bye to our friends, I loaded the girls up on the four-wheeler, and we took off. The rest was history ...

Review: MarshMedia Homeschool Special

MarshMedia is a company that creates education products for schools and today I am going to tell you about their Homeschool Special! However, they are attempting to reach out to the homeschool community, and they are offering a great deal to share with any homeschooling parent! 

Dan and Brenna Witcher purchased MarshMedia in 2011. It had been founded by another married couple way back in 1969. Their basic goal was to create health education programs for students in grades kindergarten through eighth grade. They sell these programs to schools all across the USA and a half dozen or so other countries. 

What does MarshMedia cover?

• Hygiene
• Health
• Puberty 
• Safety
• Immune system disorders
• Head lice
• Nutrition
• and more

It is important to note that MarshMedia really does not focus on sex education, however, their puberty programs are their "specialty" and what they are most known for. My children are on the cusp of what MarshMedia specializes in as their suggested age for their puberty videos starts at third grade, and my boys will enter third grade in the fall.  

That being the case, I didn't feel they were quite ready to view the puberty videos. Instead, I chose to focus their viewing in the "Hygiene" category and also in the "Health & Safety" category.

The picture below is my eight-year-old son, Sidge, watching the video: GO SLOW WHOA -- NUTRITION. 

I even took a video of Sidge watching this video. His three other siblings (ages 9, 5, and 3) are watching the video behind him:

My kiddos loved this video. It was set up like a game show with Jonathan Apple, Glass of Milk, Turkey Sandwich, and Crunchy Carrot playing a game show about nutrition. They laughed out loud and cheered for the contestants and generally just thought this video was fantastic.

I also showed them a video on washing their hands, and I personally viewed some of their puberty videos. There are six different puberty education series to choose from which allows customers the opportunity to find the program that is right for their particular student. My three-year-old repeated back some of the facts on the hand washing video to me days after we watched it -- indicating that she was really attentive!

Now here is the part that I really think homeschooling parents will be VERY interested in. MarshMedia is offering an incredible deal to homeschooling parents. Details of this offer are introduced by clicking here: Homeschool Special.  But I want to quickly summarize! Any homeschooling family can receive access to the nearly 60 programs for only $50! And you can watch the videos as many times as you would like through the end of this year (December 2017!) These programs normally sell to schools for $70 each! This basically means you can watch the videos for under one dollar a piece!

I encourage you to visit MarshMedia to read customer reviews, watch a short clip of the video, and read more about what that particular video focuses on. You can also read more about them on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and YouTube. 

This deal is incredible, and I really think that homeschooling parents could spend the fall semester doing a "health" unit and just use these videos! Younger kids can benefit too (as mine did) but those of you with kids in grade three and up? This is for you!

As always, feel free to email me at: wkitsteiner@gmail.com with specific questions related to this product.

Tribe Life Tuesday: The Ride of my Life

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~ 

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

Happy Tribelife Tuesday! I am pumped to be with you today! But, before we start, let’s set the tone. If you can, find a quiet place and a comfy chair. Maybe turn on your favorite instrumental song or your favorite movie score. Create a relaxing atmosphere and get ready to dive deep! 

Now that we’re all ready, let’s begin! 

So many of my days bring with them emotional conflicts. It’s quite like being on a roller coaster — up and down, sharp right turn, slow incline, crashing fall and just like that, the ride is over, only I don’t get off. Instead, I stay strapped in and brace myself for another go around the track. Have you ever experienced this emotional roller coaster ride before? This ride that I often feel trapped on gives me much compassion for those who struggle with their mental health. And to be honest, we all fight this battle to some extent. The denial of such a truth could lead us astray, and it’s the tribe that helps us not go down that path.

I certainly have enough information to help me get off the roller coaster, but information alone is not sufficient. Information, action, and accountability are what help me. When a storm rolls in, while I’m still on the roller coaster, rain pelting me, lightning all around, with thunder that roars so deeply my whole body shakes - that’s when I see whether information has crossed over into transformation. 

But today, I don’t want to invite you onto this emotional roller coaster, but into my heart, my humanity, my many attempts and failures at being my best self. 

Every day I seek to live out loving others well. Danny Silk, one of my favorite authors, wrote the book Keep Your Love On, which I reference constantly. In it he says: 

“The choice to pursue the goal of connection will bring you right up against the real conflict that lies at the core of every relationship. It is a spiritual battle — a heart battle — drawn between the two most powerful forces that drive us: fear and love. ”

For me, the roller coaster always begins when there is relational unrest. When I choose to operate out of fear, I am strapping myself in for another ride around the track. Or, when I’m so focused on seeing justice served that I forget to love, I am bracing myself for the ups and downs of the emotional roller coaster that will inevitably follow. Learning to love people right where they are, mess and all, is one of the hardest lessons I continue to learn. 

I want my driving force to be love, I want respond out of love even when fear is the loudest voice screaming at me. Choosing to pursue connection, choosing to love when it’s unjust or unfair makes you a powerful person. You see, as Silk writes:  “without choice, we don’t have freedom, and more importantly, we don’t have love, which requires freedom."

I hope, when I’m faced with the choice between fear and love, that I’ll choose love. And the next time the roller coaster comes to a stop, I hope my anxiety tank is empty and my peace tank is full so I can quickly and gracefully exit the ride.

Over the next week, you may have an opportunity to extend love like you never have before. When fear tries to take away your choice, be brave, amazing one, and exude love! 

Thank you so much for chatting with me.

See you next Tuesday,

Carrie

*Please note that content in guest blogs is not necessarily shared by the station manager (i.e. Wendi!)

Review: K5 Learning

I review many products that are "okay" for us. I like them, we use them, but they don't necessarily stand the test of time. But this is NOT one of them. K5 Learning and their online program fit our family and our style fantastically and perfectly! It is a ready-made program where K5 Learning organizes, instructs, and quizzes my kiddo -- and then they prepares reports for me! I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this program!

I am a "hands-off" homeschooling teacher. I don't mean that in a negative way, but with four small children at home, being involved in every step of my kids' schoolwork is really impossible. I depend on my kids to do much of their work independently and for us to discuss things that they may having problems with. I consider myself the "crowd management police." I direct kiddos where to go and what to do but depend on them to do it.

K5 Learning and their online program was founded by parents for home use.

K5 Learning is not just a homeschooling program. It is also for kids who are in school!!

Kids that are in school can use it to get reinforcement of their reading, math, and spelling while at home. It was created with the idea that math and reading are the building blocks for all schoolwork and focusing on these two areas will make you stronger in all others.

They adhere to the idea that children are sponges and learning can occur rapidly at this young age. However, they also believe children learn best at their own pace. They created this program by combining interactive online lessons and custom worksheets creating a great combo of learning. (This is the part I love THE MOST about the program!)

My three oldest children participated in the program. The first thing they did was to take a placement test. This took approximately 30-45 minutes to complete. When it was done, I received a report on my kids. I was so excited to get this report so that I could understand where my kids were in relation to the "normal" school-aged child.

In reading I was told where they ranked (grade level) in:

• Phonemic Awareness
• Phonics
• Sight Words
• Vocabulary
• Reading Comprehension

In math I was told where they ranked (grade level) in: 

• Number and operations
• Measurement
• Geometry

For each one of these I was told whether they were:

• Above grade level
• At grade level
• Below Grade level
• Mastered (if they had mastered then they are exempt from that item altogether)

Abigail is my youngest student. She is actually pre-kindergarten although I set her in kindergarten for this program as she is truly ready to do kindergarten work. She was able to navigate the program with very little help from me. Here is a picture and video of Abigail working through the program:

(Please excuse my boys and dog having a sword fight in the other room.)

Now here is what I love even MORE. After the kids complete their work, they get "suggested worksheets" put into their "folder." I can go and print those worksheets out, and they can get paper and pencil practice on what they just did. This is my absolute FAVORITE part of the whole program.

Approximately three times a week, I had my kids do the program. They would log-in themselves, and then spend approximately 20 minutes in:

• Reading
• Math
• Spelling

The spelling offers you the option of using the words they already have or creating your own spelling tests!

I know it is so hard to decide whether you want to spend the money on a program. This program is $15 a month for one child. If you want to have more children, it is $25 a month. While I really think this amount of money is worth it, I love that you can try the program for 14-days completely free! This includes a free assessment of your student. (Honestly I would try the program just to see where you child ranks. It was so fantastic to be told what grade level they were performing it in so many different areas!)

As always, do not hesitate to reach out to me and ask me any and all questions you have about this program. It's a great one!

(You can also find them on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or Google+.)

We Bought a Farm: Four-wheeler accident

Our intern Jacob took this picture when he went out to assess what had happened. I spun backwards into the sheep fencing, which is what is all connected to the four-wheeler. All the sheep got out in the mayhem.

The girls and I were involved in a four-wheeler accident on the property today. It's a long story and needs more time from me at some point, but I will say this: I flipped the four-wheeler and we were all three trapped underneath the four-wheeler. I had not brought my phone or my walkie talkie with me, JB and his parents were out of the country (they went to Mexico for his youngest brother's wedding), from all I knew our intern Jacob was asleep (it was his day off), and the boys were playing in the house.

I'm still not exactly sure how I flipped but it boiled down to my lack of experience and my panic. I hit the gas instead of the brake, started spinning, and when I finally slammed on the brakes, we went over.

As we struggled to get free and seconds (but what felt like minutes) ticked by, I had my first near-death experience. I truly thought we were going to die. Actually I wasn't worried about me very much, but I thought my daughters were going to die. Abigail was trapped next to me, Hannah was trapped on the other side of the flipped machine, they were both screaming, and I had no idea if they were injured or how they were or how to help them.

It was at that moment, I prayed. I called out to God out-loud and asked him to save us. I remember feeling adrenaline and begging God to give me the strength to get out. I had images of JB in my mind. Of him losing his wife and both daughters in this stupid way. I felt so guilty for taking them out when I was still such a novice rider. I had had two "holy spirit" checks that morning -- two different times I felt God leading me away from the path that I ended up taking -- and I ignored them both. And now here we were, trapped in a field where it would be hours before anyone realized we were missing.

Somehow, and I still don't know how, Abigail wriggled free. She realized that her boots were trapped, but she was able to pull her feet out of the boots. I'm not sure if it was her slipping free that loosened things for me, but I pulled free next, and when we went around to the other side of the four-wheeler, Hannah was standing up.

We managed to all walk back to the house. Hannah was complaining of belly pain, Abigail appeared fine, but I was nursing quite a few injuries -- the worst of which was my left hand. Here's a video of my hand injury:

In a whirlwind of trying to figure out what to do, Jacob gave up his day off to take over on the farm. I called my friend Kim who is the children's minister for our church. I knew she'd be at church (we skipped due to me running the farm solo) and have lots of people there who could help. I knew most of the people I knew would be in church with their phones off, but that Kim, who ran things, would have her phone on. I ended up deciding I could drive, drove all of us to church to drop off the kids, and headed to the ER.

I had some major bruising on my left leg and of course the injury to my hand. I had some rib soreness too, but praise the Lord, all x-rays and the CT-scan came back free and clear. My hand wasn't broken! (I was sure it was!) I was so blessed that my kids were with Ms. Kim and that my friend Natalie (a surgeon) could go with me to the ER. 

However, once we got back to church to pick up kids, Hannah threw up. Natalie said she should go to the ER since she had been complaining of belly pain and was now throwing up. Hannah was a trooper. She had a lot of bruising on her pelvis and back that I hadn't previously seen, but got an IV and did her own CT-scan like a champ. I was so proud of her. All came back free and clear!

Hannah wasn't impressed with this clothing attire. 

She opted for nakedness over the tiger gown.

My little awesome kid!

Here's what I learned today:

1. This life is so temporal, and things can change in a minute.
2. I love my children more than I can even put into words, and the thought of losing them due to my error was more than one mom can bear.
3. God gave us adrenaline for moments like these -- what a neat invention to get an extra "boost" when you need it most.
4. LISTEN to those STILL, SMALL voices. I felt a nudge to have my phone or walkie talkie with me, but I didn't go back and get it. And I felt a nudge telling me not to go down into the area I did with the girls on the four-wheeler, but I did it. LISTEN!
5. I believe angels are real. I believe God sent me supernatural help to lift the four-wheeler up enough to get out. 
6. God provides what you need when you need it. My housekeeper came today to help at the house while I was gone, my sister-in-law Danielle took my initial losing-my-mind phone call and talked me down off a cliff, so many people from church stepped up to help, Natalie went to the ER with me, Jacob was here covering the farm, Kim had the kids all day ... God provided what I needed when I needed it.
7. Our kids are watching us. Hannah told her Sunday School teacher: "We got out because mommy prayed." She saw that. She heard it. She's watching.
8. Farming is not for sissies.

I'm still processing this, but like is usual with me, processing through writing is how I do things. So I'm doing that and sharing with the world. 

Thanking the Lord that JB and his parents are back from Mexico, and we are all sleeping soundly under the same roof this evening.

Getting ready to cruise!

So I'm getting ready for my cruise -- three nights with three other fabulous women! This is a 40th birthday celebration for me. I asked for some Facebook recommendations for some good books. I took all the recommendations and found whatever our library had, put them on hold, drove by, and picked these up! 

Can't believe this time next week I will be soakin' in the sun!

CANNOT WAIT!

Friday Funnies

I didn't even know Hannah knew this rhyme -- I think she picked it up in an online book she loves about Jack and the Beanstalk. We were at the boys' tennis practice today and she busted out with this. Made me laugh so hard!

Review: Princess Prayers

Another great book from Crystal Bowman here to review! My three-year-old, Hannah, was soooo excited to receive this book and has carried it around with her and called it her "Bible" for the last few days.

Princess Prayers features 14 different prayers. The left side of each page is a sweet prayer. And the right side is a beautifully illustrated page to correlate with the prayer.

Forever and Ever
Thank you, Lord, for loving me.
Your love is big and wide.
Your love is all around me.
I feel it deep inside.

You love me with a Father's love,
You love me like a friend.
Always and forever,
Your love will never end.

At the bottom of each page is a Bible verse that goes along with the prayer on that page.

This is an incredibly sweet book that your "little princess" will absolutely love having in her library. My only complaint is that there is no diversity represented in the book. I'd love to see a princess of a different race represented and think that this would really add to the book!

Booklook Bloggers provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Combatting Worry

I actually just submitted an article to The Glorious Table about my battle with people-pleasing. It should run sometime in August, and I will be linking to it, of course, when it does. But I spoke about something in that piece that I wanted to share, now, on my Blog, as a "teaser" of sorts. 

In staying with my "keeping it real" theme on this Blog, I didn't hesitate to share when I began battling some anxiety and almost-taking-over panic attacks during the last few months. I can tell you that as of right now, I am doing really well emotionally. I was truly only "down and out" for about two weeks. As I have begun to heal, I can be honest in saying that this battle was a combination of: 

1. Physical: I was a bit run-down and not taking good care of myself. I needed more sleep and more quiet and peaceful times to make sure I was "healing" each day. I also did start on a mild anti-depressant again. I have not taken this since I dealt with PPD after the birth of two of my three biological children, but I felt it helped take the edge off a bit so that I could get to the deeper work of healing the parts of me that needed to heal. I do not intend to stay on this medication.
2. Spiritual: I truly believe that Satan is real, and that he does not want good things for us. I truly believe that he is using mental "illnesses" to wound Christians left and right in our world. We cannot share Christ and be the person we are supposed to be when we are emotionally injured. I believe that If I am not physically, spiritually, and emotionally strong, I cannot combat this enemy.
3. Emotional: I have been a people-pleaser my entire life. I have tricked myself into thinking I'm "beyond" it during times when everything is going good. If everyone is happy with me, and I'm not fretting, than I am no longer struggling with this. When in fact the truth is, this issue was simply lying in wait, festering under the surface. I refused to truly deal with it and put it to rest. And so whenever I became physically and spiritually exhausted, it would rear its ugly head. I really do think that the election was a major turning point for me because suddenly I could not "control" things around me -- this was something way bigger than me, and I couldn't stop the mean things people were saying. It started working me into the ground. Back in November I felt this coming on -- this breakdown -- but I didn't stop it. I just let it keep festering.

While I am on a little bit of medication to help me heal, I am really, really working to make myself stronger. I am working to be:

1. Physically stronger by getting good rest, eating well, and exercising regularly. 
2. Spiritually stronger by putting positive in me as often as I can: scripture, worship music, Bible reading, scripture memorization, bookstudy. I wanted the truth to be what I thought of first every morning. I started memorizing a passage. I made a worship playlist. I am trying to put all things God first. I still have four little kids and life is really busy, but I am filling my tiny moments with Christ. I have removed negative from my Facebook feed. I have stopped reading the news and dwelling on anything negative.
3. Emotionally stronger by surrounding myself with people who built me up. I decided to put the emphasis on the people who truly mattered. Like the famous Dr. Seuss quote says: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” I realized that my inner core of people accepted me completely and utterly without question, and that I didn’t need to be careful with every little thing I said and did when around them. Those were the people I needed to focus on and spend time with. And I needed to stop worrying about those who truly didn’t matter.

Now don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that I have arrived in the slightest. I have a long way to go. This is something I did not learn overnight, and it will therefore probably be something I am working on until my dying day. I will continue to share my journey in the hopes that others can know, as always, that they are not alone, and we are on this journey of life together.

Review: And Still She Laughs (and giveaway!)

Congrats Teri! You are the winner!!!!!!

And Still She Laughs is a book by Kate Merrick. Kate was the author of a popular blog detailing the cancer battle of her young daughter. When her daughter died, it was time for Kate to keep living. But how? How could she live when her daughter had died?

Kate chooses to do this by diving into stories in the Bible. These are the stories of real women like Bathsheba and Sarah who have found joy no matter what the circumstances.

I'll be honest with you. This is a tough read. The sadness of a mother losing their child isn't really something you can compare to much else. However, if you are in the valley, Merrick's words will help encourage you that you are not in that valley by yourself. She has been in it, and she is clawing her way out of it.

But there is also humor. And happy times. And laughter. It is all mixed together.

I actually want to give away this book to a reader who needs it for herself or for someone she knows. So if you leave a comment, I will be sending this book to a random winner!